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AIBU?

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Original poster

For turning the Xbox off

33 replies

LWOLW · 14/04/2018 00:18

I am 16 weeks pregnant and am absolutely knackered 24/7. My DP has been playing on the Xbox since around 10pm and talking on the headset, I have been in bed trying to sleep. We have thin walls and thin floors and his voice is deep so it travels so I haven't been able to sleep yet, even after asking him to be quiet numerous times. I went downstairs at midnight and told him it's midnight and I need to sleep can he please turn the headset off. He refused and said he finds it hard to believe he's keeping me awake (even though he does every weekend) and kept refusing and said he just wouldn't talk much, I said okay take the headset off then or tell your friend you won't be talking as I know you will still talk anyway, and he refused again. I told him I need to sleep and can't with him talking so much and he still refused to listen to me so I just turned the Xbox off. He then tells me I'm 'fucked up in the head' and can go to the theatre alone tomorrow evening. WIBU?

OP posts:
Fruitcorner123 · 14/04/2018 00:19

YANBU. You are having a baby with a manchild.

hmmwhatatodo · 14/04/2018 00:22

What an idiot. I wish these stupid things had never been invented .

GreenTulips · 14/04/2018 00:23

Go to the theatre alone!

Hack the wifi box and set time limits for his Xbox - if he acts like a child treat him like one (I can tell you how to do this!)

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 14/04/2018 00:25

How depressing. For £5 I can tell you your future.

Original poster
LWOLW · 14/04/2018 00:31

@GreenTulips I wish I could but he's an IT contractor so can do anything he wants with the Internet

OP posts:
Fruitcorner123 · 14/04/2018 00:36

Why are you with him? Was he like this 16 weeks ago? I'm with zibbidoo in saying the future doesn't look . You need to have a conversation about your relationship and where the Xbox fits into it!

CadyHeron · 14/04/2018 00:36

Not got a DH that does this, but got 2 kids who drive me fuckin batty with the Xbox.
Yes,at that time of night, voice will carry. He's being an inconsiderate knob (me being polite lol.)
You're not being "fucked up in the head." He needs to be more considerate and STFU ie unplug the headphones.

CadyHeron · 14/04/2018 00:39

He then tells me I'm 'fucked up in the head' and can go to the theatre alone tomorrow evening. WIBU?

Argh, just clocked your last bit.You're going to the theatre tomorrow night? Go, by yourself if need be and have a great time.I would. Just a breezy "Off out now, see ya!" and if he asks where you're off, just an innocent "why,the theatre of course, you knew?"

tinkanman · 14/04/2018 00:41

Sympathy OPThanks
Honestly? Ditch him, someone like that will hinder more than help during pregnancy and even when the child is born.
What's he expecting to do when the baby's asleep? You should ask him that x

HarshingMyMellow · 14/04/2018 00:42

I have exactly the same problem with Dp.

We actually had a huge bust up about it just the other day, where I threatened to throw the thing in the bin if he didn't pack it in. I've already got kids, I don't need a manchild too.

He knows that I'm deadly serious about this too, the last time he had a 12 HOUR 'session' I threw his controller in the bin and changed the WiFi password, from that point on it's been alright apart from a few slip ups.

Put your foot down now Op, show him you mean business and you will carry out any threats that you make. If he wants to act like a child, treat him like one.

Hope you manage to get some sleep soon Thanks

Original poster
LWOLW · 14/04/2018 00:45

I told him he's not a teenager in school anymore and doesn't need to stay up until the early hours playing Xbox and got the extremely mature response of 'I can do what I want' Hmm

OP posts:
Jannilost · 14/04/2018 00:45

He is being inconsiderate playing late and loud.
However he is not a man child for doing It, it is his hobby and he enjoys him so no need to call people who play games children.
However maybe ask him to be more considerate and only play a few nights a week.

CrispyCrackers · 14/04/2018 00:58

He sounds really inconsiderate but I’m not sure that switching the Cbox off mid game was the best way to deal with it. It was obviously going to inflame the situation and make it impossible to work things out sensibly.
Do you and him normally argue like this or is this a once off? It really worrying that you are having a baby together. Hopefully in the morning you will be able to sort it out.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 14/04/2018 01:40

He is being inconsiderate playing late and loud.
However he is not a man child for doing It, it is his hobby and he enjoys him so no need to call people who play games children.
However maybe ask him to be more considerate and only play a few nights a week.

100% this.

You, and nobody else for that matter judging by the replies on this thread, have the right to control another human being.

You do not have the right to turn off his Xbox/WiFi/throw anything in the bin etc.

If his actions are a dealbreaker, you leave him. Else you find another way to deal with it that doesn’t include controlling him. You are not his mother.

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 14/04/2018 01:42

I told him he's not a teenager in school anymore and doesn't need to stay up until the early hours playing Xbox and got the extremely mature response of 'I can do what I want'

You’re right, OP: he doesn’t need to. But he wants to, and as an adult he gets to make that decision for himself.

If it’s a dealbreaker, leave him. If it is not, find a way to deal with it without trying to control him or treat him like a child.

SoulToSqueeze · 14/04/2018 01:50

It doesn't sound like OP is trying to control her DH at all (to me). She's asked over and over for him to be considerate and he flat out refuses. That is immature in my opinion. All he had to do was be quiet while she's trying to sleep.
My DH occasionally plays online games and uses a headset and when its late and im trying to sleep hearing him constantly talking does my head in, but the difference is if I ask him to be quiet he does. If he didn't I think I'd end up just switching it off too. YANBU op!

CadyHeron · 14/04/2018 01:59

Agree,soulto. Hell,I'm click clicking away on the laptop right now mumsnetting, DH in bed. Gone 1am. Because I'm an adult.If there was an option to have headphones on and speak to you all, I'm hoping I'd be a lot more considerate.Basic niceness, isn't it.
Take the fkn headphones off and STFU if it's late and you want to play.

KaosReigns · 14/04/2018 02:15

Download the Xbox app on your phone, connect it to the Xbox and you can use your phone as a controller from the other room. You can either button mash to annoy him or hold down the logo for 3 seconds then press up then a to shut down the Xbox.

Or dump the selfish man child, it will be so much worse once there's a baby in the picture too.

KaosReigns · 14/04/2018 02:19

He's not a man child for gaming, he's a man child for responding to you the way he did.

Jannilost · 14/04/2018 02:21

@KaodReigns. Why does she get to turn his stuff off? If a women was on the phone at night downstairs keeping a guy up, and he went downstairs and asked her to stop then took it from her and hung up he would be called abusive. It is the same thing. He is not a man child for playing games.

You both need to have a proper talk at what is considerate times to game and make compromises, let him play some late night games but ask for a few nights where you do other stuff together like a movie night? But regardless he is An adult and he can refuse, and do what he likes. But then it's up to you to decide do you want to be with him. Smile

Jannilost · 14/04/2018 02:21

Kaos. Partial x post

Mustang27 · 14/04/2018 02:40

Right it's shit that he didn't care enough that he is keeping you up late however he is an adult in his own home using his own time how he wishes so I don't agree that you had a right to switch the Xbox off. (He should realise you need your rest you are growing his and your baby and not keep you awake)

Get some decent earplugs for the weekend or put your headphones (ones that also cut out noise) on and listen to soothing sleep/meditation music and enjoy. I did hypnobirthing every night in my headphones and most slept wonderfully throughout pregnancy except the end bit where insomnia seems to be a thing. Labour was ace.

You both need to communicate better.

Aquamarine1029 · 14/04/2018 03:06

Take the Xbox and throw it under the first passing car. When he cries about it like a fucking baby just say "I can do what I want."

WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue · 14/04/2018 10:18

It doesn't sound like OP is trying to control her DH at all (to me).

She turned off his xbox to stop him playing - that action in and of itself is controlling and abusive (“I don’t want you to play right now so you won’t”).

RallyAnnie · 14/04/2018 10:28

He's showing you who he really is, so it's worth paying attention to it. However the situation seemed to escalate, making me think you perhaps don't bring out the best in each other?

If it's a blip, that's one thing. If this is how he is with you, that could suggest a problem.

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