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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to not understand why this Gumtree seller is so cross at me?

76 replies

ErrrrrNo · 13/04/2018 23:10

Looking at buying some suitcases on GT, exchanges below, was I really rude? (removed Iding details)

ME:
Would it be possible to collect them either tomorrow daytime or Monday daytime?
I'd have to send my parents to collect and they are not too keen on driving at night!!
Thanks again,

Him:
That's great, as long you are happy that they are scuffed on the outside
and whoever collects them will be aware of that too.

We are in ?rather rural I am afraid and a little difficult to find, so if you prefer we can meet at the ? ? / with them, we are happy to do that if that's any help.
Perhaps you could let me know if that's okay and what day and time
Kind regards

ME:
Hi,
Scuffing is no problem, I think I prefer something that doesn't look brand new!
We are used to being hand luggage only types and traveling light, but two children have put paid to that!!
I will check with mum and see what she would rather do and let you know.
Many thanks,

Me:
Just spoken to my Mum and she has said have you got a number or email so she could work out the finer details with you, as its probably;y easier than going through me,
She is ???.com if you would rather contact her direct.
Thanks,
(I went out for 2 hrs now)

HIM:
Mt email is showing and I was going to give you a contact number when you let me know if what I suggested was okay ie: if it was easier for collection from Tesco at ?
and that tomorrow or Monday would be fine and could you let me know which day is best
these are the only details.

HIM: 1 minute later
I need to know if you are serious about them as I have someone else who would like them

HIM: 6 minutes later
I thought what I had suggested was pretty straight forward and helpful to you in that I could bring them as far as Sprowston either tomorrow or Monday at a convenient time for you or whoever is collecting them, but I notice that you have not had the courtesy to acknowledge my offer, I can only assume by that you are not genuine.

ME (back at home 2 hrs later):
Hi,
Really sorry, i had to pop out till now, Gumtree hides emails so you can only reply through gumtree (so I couldn't pass it on to my mum) and my mum hadn't contacted you, sorry if you thought I wasn't being genuine in some way.
I really would like the cases as we are off on holiday soon, and they look pefect.
Sorry I wasn't able to reply straight away.
Are we still able to collect?

Me: 1 hr later
Hi ?
I'm sorry if I didn't reply fast enough earlier but I had to meet a friend at 6.30 which is why I thought it might be easier If yourself and my mum sorted out collection directly, I apologise for not making that clearer.
Gumtree makes a random email address for you

OP posts:
MirriVan · 14/04/2018 01:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AjasLipstick · 14/04/2018 01:24

Mirri all OP had to do was say "Here's my Mum's number, she'll meet you at 3.:

She didn't need to pass the thing along in any other way.

MirriVan · 14/04/2018 01:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MirriVan · 14/04/2018 01:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nakedavenger74 · 14/04/2018 01:33

What a gargantuan fuss. I've sold plenty on ebay, gumtree and Facebook groups and frankly if you'd have asked me to start contacting other people when I am doing you a favour by meeting locally I would have dropped it. Maybe I wouldn't have been as pointed as him but I get his frustration

If you'd foregone the waffle about the minutiae of your life and demanding he contact third parties and just said 'thanks, that would be a huge help, does Friday at 12 work for you, suggest my mum meets you at the back row of the car park' you'd have the bloody suitcases by now.

MyDcAreMarvel · 14/04/2018 01:46

You were a bit rude and waffly op. The seller made a kind offer which you did not even acknowledge.

DropItLikeASquat · 14/04/2018 01:57

he's being an ass, YANBU

Topseyt · 14/04/2018 02:28

You certainly over complicated things and we're extremely waffly in your responses.

He was very rude at the end, but at that point you seemed to be putting down one obstacle after another, in between going for long periods without responding.

I get his frustration with you, although I think he could have handled it better.

mathanxiety · 14/04/2018 03:06

Rudeness isn't the problem.

The problem was the introduction of your mum into the arrangements, and having to get back to her, forwarding her e-mail address, being the go between.

I can see how he thought you were just stalling while keeping your options on the suitcases and a few other suitcases open. For his part, he was being straightforward and quite helpful.

Other people have lives. Sellers want to shift their stuff. I think you dropped the ball.

WhatInTheWorldIsGoingOn · 14/04/2018 03:35

You did give him a lot of unnecessary information. Perhaps he was selling lots of things and you were the 10th person that day that was being vague.

I sell lots of things on Facebook and people do drive you potty. Especially if you try and follow the ‘rules’ of giving to the first person, who then faffs about whilst someone has said, “I can collect at 6pm tonight.” I also would absolutely not try and contact a third party mum and would move on to the next person.

OnionKnight · 14/04/2018 05:57

You made it more complicated than it needed to be, that would have annoyed me too.

Creambun2 · 14/04/2018 06:07

Why should a seller have to negotiate with your mum op?

IMBU · 14/04/2018 06:16

He's a prat and was very aggressive in his replies to you.

lovesugarfreejelly63 · 14/04/2018 06:19

ErrrNo, invest in driving lessons.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/04/2018 06:22

I’d have been pissed off at being given an email address of a third party. He was asking for a time on a particular day. He did go ott though.

restingbemusedface · 14/04/2018 06:23

He’s rude and weird.

But if a buyer sent me someone else’s contact details and told me to organise collection with them I wouldn’t do it. But I also wouldn’t bother with the long winded replies

restingbemusedface · 14/04/2018 06:25

Also, I don’t think you should tell strange men on the internet about your personal life - you mention you have kids, are going on holiday etc. You hear some horror stories about craigslist/gumtree transactions, just keep it to the point.

londonrach · 14/04/2018 06:25

Both at fault. Re personal email or phone number requests on gumtree i never give that out
. Having a third person does make you sound like you missing him around abit

londonrach · 14/04/2018 06:27

Id have broken contact with you before the last message thinking you a time waster

Coconutspongexo · 14/04/2018 06:32

He sounds touchy you sound like hardwork

eurochick · 14/04/2018 06:33

I would have got pretty frustrated by your messages, tbh. Just quickly arrange a pick up time - the seller doesn't need all the extraneous details.

WingsofNylon · 14/04/2018 06:34

He is an idiot. I hate people who make a offer of help of thier own volition then get huffy if people don't instantly fall over themselves in thanks.

It is no big deal for the collector to be diffrent to the buyer, happens all the time if the items are big (I've sold a fair bit of furniture in gt).

TeasndToast · 14/04/2018 06:41

I would have dropped the sale to you the minute you started getting all complicated and asked me to contact your mum. But I would never have been so rude.

He sounds like he’s not annoyed about the complications, just that you didn’t kiss his arse when he said he’d meet you in a car park.

He’s a knob. But next time don’t get telling strangers all about your mum and checking back with her first and blah blah etc. Just get time and place and send your mum. If you need to ‘check with her first’ before confirming with seller you are better off just getting them from Sports Direct like others have suggested.

TeasndToast · 14/04/2018 06:46

In future OP, in the kindest possible way, sellers don’t give a shit about your parents not driving at night, your kids, your holiday etc. Don’t give out all this information it just annoys sellers who just want their stuff gone.

Starryskiesinthesky · 14/04/2018 07:09

I must admit if I had other buyers I couldn't be bothered with all the fuss it was starting to become.

You weren't rude though. He was!