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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not understand why this Gumtree seller is so cross at me?

76 replies

ErrrrrNo · 13/04/2018 23:10

Looking at buying some suitcases on GT, exchanges below, was I really rude? (removed Iding details)

ME:
Would it be possible to collect them either tomorrow daytime or Monday daytime?
I'd have to send my parents to collect and they are not too keen on driving at night!!
Thanks again,

Him:
That's great, as long you are happy that they are scuffed on the outside
and whoever collects them will be aware of that too.

We are in ?rather rural I am afraid and a little difficult to find, so if you prefer we can meet at the ? ? / with them, we are happy to do that if that's any help.
Perhaps you could let me know if that's okay and what day and time
Kind regards

ME:
Hi,
Scuffing is no problem, I think I prefer something that doesn't look brand new!
We are used to being hand luggage only types and traveling light, but two children have put paid to that!!
I will check with mum and see what she would rather do and let you know.
Many thanks,

Me:
Just spoken to my Mum and she has said have you got a number or email so she could work out the finer details with you, as its probably;y easier than going through me,
She is ???.com if you would rather contact her direct.
Thanks,
(I went out for 2 hrs now)

HIM:
Mt email is showing and I was going to give you a contact number when you let me know if what I suggested was okay ie: if it was easier for collection from Tesco at ?
and that tomorrow or Monday would be fine and could you let me know which day is best
these are the only details.

HIM: 1 minute later
I need to know if you are serious about them as I have someone else who would like them

HIM: 6 minutes later
I thought what I had suggested was pretty straight forward and helpful to you in that I could bring them as far as Sprowston either tomorrow or Monday at a convenient time for you or whoever is collecting them, but I notice that you have not had the courtesy to acknowledge my offer, I can only assume by that you are not genuine.

ME (back at home 2 hrs later):
Hi,
Really sorry, i had to pop out till now, Gumtree hides emails so you can only reply through gumtree (so I couldn't pass it on to my mum) and my mum hadn't contacted you, sorry if you thought I wasn't being genuine in some way.
I really would like the cases as we are off on holiday soon, and they look pefect.
Sorry I wasn't able to reply straight away.
Are we still able to collect?

Me: 1 hr later
Hi ?
I'm sorry if I didn't reply fast enough earlier but I had to meet a friend at 6.30 which is why I thought it might be easier If yourself and my mum sorted out collection directly, I apologise for not making that clearer.
Gumtree makes a random email address for you

OP posts:
Original poster
ErrrrrNo · 13/04/2018 23:46

April229
I wasn't planning to buy anything, I just saw them by accident and contacted him. I'm surprised some people are so inflexible, we don't all drive, I usually collect by bus/bike but the location stamp on Gumtree was wrong (much further out than expected).

OP posts:
PattiStanger · 13/04/2018 23:48

Meeting in a car park's not a red flag at all, I'd much rather meet somewhere public than have Gumtree randomers come to my house or me to go a stranger's home.

Buying and selling like this does seem to bring out the worst in people, par for the course ime

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 13/04/2018 23:50

Complete nutter YANBU

Original poster
ErrrrrNo · 13/04/2018 23:50

April229, we live in Norfolk, most of it is Rural!! They would be happier going to a house than meeting in a carpark, and it was not much money for a couple of suitcases rather than a wad of cash for an Iphone. But I get what you mean, they know the area and collect stuff bought off ebay all over.

OP posts:
April229 · 13/04/2018 23:50

TBF OP I don’t think he was being inflexible, he offered to drive the cases to sprowston to make them easier to collect. I know Norfolk so if you don’t drive that would be easier than where he lives if it’s rural.

If you had seen them could maybe have called your mum to say could she help by collecting in the next day or so might have been useful before contacting the guy.

EduCated · 13/04/2018 23:51

I agree that asking him to contact your Mum was a bit off, and it became rather complicated when he may have had other requests or be equally happy to just chuck them.

Catspaws · 13/04/2018 23:51

Seller sounds a bit highly strung!! Don't think you did anything wrong at all. Maybe they got a better offer and wanted to get rid of you, but they seem very odd.

Jon66 · 13/04/2018 23:52

It would drive me mad. You need one email . Can I have your address for collection, will be there x at x time. One email in reply. Done.

turnaroundbrighteyes · 13/04/2018 23:54

Think it was all just q bit too much faff for him. At the point he said he could bring them to x he would have expected a "great can u do x time" instead you wanted him to start again with your Mum. Then didn't reply for a couple of hours. I'd have thought oh ffs at the talking to your Mum bit as I'd have expected collection to be arranged quickly in a couple of messages, but would have been polite about it. Just different communication styles I think.

April229 · 13/04/2018 23:54

Re your last post, if your parents would be happier to go to someone’s house in a remote location to collect things from gumtree or eBay I would have a word with them about safety esp if it’s your mum on her own. Both gumtree and eBay recommend meeting to exchange in safe public places. Not every seller wants you to come to their house and I would not want to go to a strangers house on my own, esp at night.

condepetie · 13/04/2018 23:57

Yep, would much prefer to meet either a seller or a buyer in a public place than go to their house, or for them to know where I live.

Basic safety when buying or selling on anonymous sites like Gumtree. Ebay I would be calmer about it.

Original poster
ErrrrrNo · 13/04/2018 23:58

Yep, I can see that I made it a bit overcomplicated, its probably that it's not overcomplicated for me as i always have to do things this way having never had a car!

Still think he was a bit over cross though, I really liked those cases!! Thanks all for the insight.

OP posts:
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 14/04/2018 00:01

For the love of god get some new bags from TX Max or a car boot

As much as I love used and pre loved this SHIT is why I bail

He is a Dick

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 14/04/2018 00:02

That's hard work

Original poster
ErrrrrNo · 14/04/2018 00:03

stopfuckingshoutingatme True & True!

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 14/04/2018 00:06

Some people just enjoy arguing and scoring points - he's probably one of them, OP.

greenlanes · 14/04/2018 00:08

Actually he sounds very helpful for low value items. Barely worth his petrol.

So personally I think you should reply to apologise for any inconvenience, thank him for his kind suggestion, and you are still interested if they don't sell.

CrispyCrackers · 14/04/2018 00:16

He was rude and pompous but you were making it complicated. You answers were a bit all over the place but it’s not a reason for him to be rude.

Suggesting he made arrangements with your parents would have felt like too much bother if I had been him. Presuming that he didn’t get too much money for the bags.

Don’t worry about him being rude. He sounds like a tosser! I wouldn’t give it any headspace.

AjasLipstick · 14/04/2018 00:42

It was when you said your Mum wanted him to deal with her that things got irritating OP, I would have been annoyed too. There were no "finer details" You could have said "Yes, Mum is happy to meet at Tescos at 3.00pm. Here's her number incase of any issues"

And been done with it!

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 14/04/2018 00:44

You weren't rude, he's a dick.
You said thank you each time, what more does he want? you can't make arrangements for your mum in terms of time and location, she needs to do that herself, what's wrong with that?

Total dick. Sorry you missed out but probably just as well you needn't have anything more to do with him.

Eminado · 14/04/2018 00:51

I was planning to advertise something on Gumtree tomorrow - I think I’ll give it a miss Grin

SealSong · 14/04/2018 01:06

Your waffly messages would have driven me mad.

Failingat40 · 14/04/2018 01:09

It's only puppies and kittens that would be dodgy to buy from carparks op!!

I think you did his head in with all your overly detailed and chatty messages.

Selling suitcases shouldn't be that complicated Confused

SilverBirchTree · 14/04/2018 01:12

He was rude.

But I sell on gumtree a bit and I probably would have decided to sell to someone else if there was interest because your replies were all a bit complicated.

When you’re trying to flog something on gumtree you just want it gone as soon as possible, with little faffing around.

If he had another buyer messaging him saying ‘I’m keen, I can collect from your place this afternoon and pay cash’ then he’s going to take that offer instead of waiting on you. But I would be honest about that and just tell the potential buyer that it was no longer available

SilverBirchTree · 14/04/2018 01:15

Which was a waffled way of telling you that your gumtree messages were too waffely 😂

It’s a weird forum, short & sharp is best.

‘Interested, I can collect at 6pm tonight.’ Is the best message to receive

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