To think that we can't eat one meal as a family?

[MartagonLilies]

3DC.
DC3 (reception)who probably eats a bit too much. She is slightly on the heavier side of her age group and constantly asks for snacks. I wouldn't put her on a diet, or ever mention her weight IRL to anyone, though I do think I need to make healthier choices for her.Not really a meat lover.

DC2 (junior) Has SN, and will not eat any fruit or veg. Not potatoes or beans of any kind either. He's extremely skinny.

DC1 (teen) has developed recent dislike to certain veg, though I think it's fussiness. He'll eat salad and fruit though. Healthy weight.

I'm unwell myself. I'm not sure exactly what's wrong, just have been exhausted for years, and it's being looked into. No one really took me seriously at the Drs and now it's finally being looked into, it's taken ages to sort.
Point is, I'm too tired to cook from scratch most of the time. I do take vitamins and iron supplements as recommend to me on here,and also use a lot of Of frozen onion/ jars of garlic etc as also suggested on MN. Both these help slightly. I also need to lose weight, a few stone.

DH works full time, I am a SAHM. I miss us eating together, I just don't how to do it, taking all the above into consideration. We eat in two sittings now, and sometimes the meals aren't great, TBH, health wise, for any of us.
So AIBU to think it can't be done, and just to continue as things are? Or am I missing something obvious here?

The people here saying they don't tolerate fussy eaters obviously don't have children with ASD who would starve before eating food they can't stand due to sensory issues

Some children without sensory issues would also choose to be hungry. I know I would have done as children. Those who think that they will all learn if you take their food away are pretty clueless.

These are all good ideas. We have a chalkboard, so will write a the common meals there. The meals DS1 thinks they will all eat are spaghetti Bolognese / Carbonara, lasagne, pizza, tacos / fajitas, burgers, chips, roast dinner, soup.

DS2 won't eat any of the veg or salad, though will eat parts of each of those meals, so for the roast he'll eat the meat, Yorkshire and maybe some potato, if it's crispy and tiny. He'll eat tinned tomato soup, although we call it red soup in this house, he wouldn't touch it if he knew it was tomato.
I do have a soup maker though, that I don't get out enough....

Getting DS1 to cook once a week is a good idea I think, as are the multivariate for DS2.

@lostherenow, would you mind sharing the course details please? It sounds as though that might really help here too. If you'd rather PM, that's fine

I get you OP. It’s so demoralising when you make a wonderful dinner only for one to sob quietly as he doesn’t like chicken this week, one to thoughtfully tell you he prefers XYZ

As you’re not well I’d sit down and make a list of guaranteed things each will eat, include sandwiches and stuff like that, and then see where you can cross them over. Things like make your own fajitas are a hit with mine - only the littlest will have salad in his though!

Multivitamin*

You sound so much more positive now Martagon

I have a teen with additional needs. He's never snacked (even if I've wanted him to son we can have our main meal a bit later!) And loves 've. So if in doubt I can just pile those on.

The deconstructed works well for us. Generally I can do us all the same sides but he might have different protein - which is where some home cooked plain chicken breast comes in, or even a slice of "naice ham"!

Looking at your DS1's list I see no sausages, chops, fish: all of which are quick to cook and quite flexible (fish tacos are amazing).
If they'll eat Bolognese and tacos will they eat (mild) chilli?
If they'll all eat chips will they eat wedges or roast potatoes/potato waffles/smiley faces/any other processed potato stuff?
As you are shattered just stick with the list for a couple of weeks and then try tweaks so that you have more choice overall.

The only thing I can add is to serve a selection of veg. That roast dinner that you did, I would have also done at least peas, then maybe sweetcorn, broccoli, roast parsnips and roasted sweet potato, so there's a large selection for them to choose from.

My eldest would only eat carrots (preferably raw, but he would eat them cooked) and sweetcorn. Doing him raw carrots was no problem, as I'd just put some aside when I was chopping them.
Every dinner I served either carrots or sweetcorn and at least one other veg, so I knew he would eat one veg.

I also blended other veg into soups, chilli and pasta sauce, as he really hated the texture of onions, and of course didn't like other veg. Blending them in, meant he had no idea that he was eating veg.
You can do the same to make a tomato sauce for pizza. You can blitz carrot, onion, celery, garlic, peppers and courgettes, then add a carton of passatta or blitz a tin of tomatoes with the other veg.

If you're making soup, you can chuck all sorts in, blitz it, then add some chunks of cooked chicken and just tell them it's chicken soup.

Your kids sound badly behaved. Cook a meal, serve it, offer nothing else, they'll eat when they are hungry. Teach them some manners!

@Whatshallidonowpeople I take it you don't have any experience with ASD or spd issues then?

I'm regard to DS1 cooking one night a week, could anyone suggest which meals he should start with? He's not really a confident cook, and sticks to sandwiches. He's gone as far as bacon, just that's about it. I've baked with DC obviously, just not taught them dinner foods to cook.

Also, yes, they'll eat sausages, more so the boys, and potato waffles.

If they all like pasta then teach him to cook that.
Get them all to make pizzas,get eldest to make the dough,cut it into 1piece each,you and DH can do this too then put different toppings out and let them put on what they like.My DD used to make faces when very little this often meant she used veg she usually didn't like too much but over time did.

Yeah, pasta's a good start, and he can learn how to make a basic tomato sauce, with tinned tomatoes, onions and garlic, pinch of sugar (to take away the bitterness of the tomatoes), salt and pepper and some dried herbs (either Italian mixed, or basil and oregano).

Once he knows how to make that, it can be the basis for bolognese and chilli.

There are cookbooks written by a guy called Sam Stern. He wrote the first one when he was 15, It's called Cooking Up a Storm and I bought it for my son, who used it to cook us a roast dinner! Another book of his which I also recommend is Real Food Real Fast.

My children also like making lasagne although the white sauce is not that easy so we use premade while sauce (e.g. dolmio) or I make it.

You can't go wrong with spag bol for a beginner!

Use a jar of dolmio bolognese sauce. Cook the mince with it (I use frozen veggie mince but I don't know how to cook with beef, I'm sure you do!), while frying up some onions and mushrooms. Simultaneously boiling spaghetti. There you have it.

He can learn to make tomato sauce later, first just get him learning how to assemble a few items and cook a couple of things at the same time to build his confidence. You add the onions and mushrooms to the bolognese at the end so can leave them out of one portion for your middle DS if he doesn't enjoy them.

Maybe suggest the other two join in by pouring everyone's drinks and setting the table. Let your other two bring dessert out (it can be a yoghurt in a dish with some frozen berries or something super simple!)

I reckon it'll build everyone's confidence and be really enjoyable, plus they'll realise what it's like to make food for someone else and hopefully it'll teach them manners too. Win win!

Just wanted to keep this updated a bit. Our meal plan for the upcoming week, caters to us all, without making lots of different dinners each night.
So, today we all had wraps. Southern fried chicken for all of us, and then DH and DS1 had barbecue sauce and salad in theirs, DD and I had blue cheese, salad and mayo (I had hot sauce) and DS2 had it plain, just chicken.
It worked well, so hopefully the rest of the week will go to plan.

Ooh, and I've bought stuff for DS1 to cook us all spaghetti this week.

Sounds like a promising start OP!

Hi there, OP.

I wanted to post... I have health conditions which mean I can't cook for myself safely most of the time.

I don't have a family so only have to fend for myself, but most of the tips I can give I think would stand even when cooking for others as well.

First up, I am OK to cook occasionally. When I do, I make it as simple as possible, and use pre-chopped veggies and pre-prepared chicken chunks or whatever.

I realise this makes it more expensive, but I make more meals doing it this way, so it's worth it.

I have a selection of one pot recipes for when I'm well enough to cook, where I can just chuck things in a single pan and stir occasionally.

I do realise I only have to cater to my own taste so finding those recipes is easier, but honestly, if you're knackered, make it as easy for yourself as possible.

Question: Is there anyone in the household who can help with basic food prep like chopping veggies, or is that a silly question?

When I am able to cook, I tend to cook a massive pot and freeze most of it, that way I have home-made ready meals for the days I'm not.

The rest of the time, I am reliant on those Easy-To-Cook type dishes which are pre-prepared and you can just shove in the oven: personally, a lot of chicken kievs and fishcakes, and even an occasional chicken joint. They are expensive when bought individually, but most supermarkets do bulk buy deals, which would mean you're able to mix and match as well.

The rest of the time, I'm all about ready meals... You can get decent ones, there isn't any shame in it, and again you can mix and match and get discounts when buying several.

Honestly, I'm not an expert but my immediate thought is make meal times as easy on yourself as possible while medics are figuring out why you're knackered.

Yes, I expect my eldest D'S and DH could help chop. We do buy a lot of pre chopped though, onions, jarred garlic etc.

Another dinner went down well last night; burgers. Chicken and salad for DD, plain breaded fish burger for DS2, jalapeno cheese burgers for DH & I, and Mac & Cheese beef burger for DS1