To think meal planning for fussy eaters is near impossible?!

[YerAuntFanny]

I know IANBU and I'm not really sure what the point of this is but ffs I am seriously getting hacked off with picky eaters. We are a family of 4, 2 of whom are VERY restricted on their food intake.

For example:
DH won't eat veg, fish, baked potatoes and not keen on pasta but will tolerate a Homepride pepperoni pasta bake

DS (possible ASD and sensory issues) won't eat veg, fruit, pasta (but again will eat a few forkfulls of the pepperoni pasta bake!) rice, potatoes, chicken, fish, eggs, soups, ham, cheese (unless on toast or pizza). The only meat that passes his lips are sausages and bacon.

DD is great but can't tolerate anything with even a hint of spice.

Then there's me, I will generally eat or try anything atleast once BUT I'm following Slimming World so I try to be as healthy as I can and don't buy processed foods often.

We can't afford to buy to suit each person, infact our budget is £60 a week but now I'm really struggling for ideas and money. It's always me that has to compromise on what I eat to accommodate them and it's me that gets landed cooking 3 meals each night if I don't.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who struggles with this and if you do too anyone got any tips?

I would base my meal around a staple egg b everyone eats (although given your DS list I'm not sure what that is..) and supplement with things I like but the rest might only eat a bit of.

Eg in our house everyone is eats pasta and rice, so I make one of those two things but won't have much myself, instead I'll have more of the fish/chicken/veg.

You haven't mentioned chips? It's not ideal as a regular staple but cooked in an air fryer might be better than nothing...

Not sure what that egg is doing in my first sentence, pretty sure I didn't put it there

I do try to simplify where I can and I can most of the time but even the simplest meal turns into a bit of a palava!

Sausage, egg, chips and beans for example.

DS has sausages but only likes french fry style chips.
DH will have sausage, egg and any oven chips but no beans as he doesn't like them touching.

Neither will eat home made chips as they're too chunky apparently!

DD and I will have home made oven chips, baked with a bit of spray oil and seasoning along with the rest.

Funnily enough, sausages are probably the only thing we all eat although I do admit to buying more expensive, lower fat versions for myself to suit SW

I don’t like beans touching so put them in a ramekin. Chips/sausage can then be dipped at your convenience

Does your DH do any of the cooking? I would be handing at least some days over to him so he understands what a palaver it all is.

Rostbratwurst from lidl are cheap and often on offer and low in fat.

Unsure if that's too different from your usual sausage.

I ask my children to go through a recipe book and each choose one meal they will enjoy. If it's something the rest don't love, they eat more of the stodge - rice or whatever.
Or we do meals where people can make things to their own taste like tacos or sushi

I feel your pain OP Its similar in this house, and DS has SN. His list is similar to your DS's.
It's sucked all the joy out of cooking for me, and I now dread it. I have 3 DC altogether, and it's tiresome. I've no advice, I'm afraid, just wanted to join arms with you and place mark

Come on op...meal planning is easy...just do pepperoni pasta bake every night of the week

I will get flamed for this but I really don't tolerate fussy eating, even for adults! I cook one meal and that's it. People who don't eat it go without/make a sandwich. I am speaking also as a mum of a child with ASD and another child with suspected ASD and a picky teenager to boot. There's no snacks either! Just fruit between meals maybe.

So I’m your example of sausages beans and chips - I’d do sausages and oven fries for the boys (and DD if she wants) and new potatoes and frozen peas for you and DD. Given you can microwave the beans and peas those elements aren’t tricky.

Or you make a mince based dish like bolagnaise. Serve it with pasta or caugetti for you and DD and something like white bread for the boys.

Not sure I could ever get to the marriage and procreation stage with someone with a restrictive diet as your husband. Can you tell him to cook a few nights a week? Or sort himself out? Or give him hurl to drink?? At least that is nutritionally complete.

Although I think it might be easier to make a list of what they DO eat rather than what they don’t!

Yanbu. My dd changes her likes and dislikes from one week to the next.

Cook for the kids

DH fends for himself, once he has mastered turning the oven on, then he cooks 3 nights a week for the kids also.

I’ve been in your position OP. I just downed tools in the end and ate cheese toasties till he got the message. I’ll cook one meal. Take it or leave it. And that meal is tailored to the children. Grownups sort themselves out.

How old are the DC? I'd be tempted to go on strike.

Are they old enough to get them to plan and make one meal each? (I'm including your DH in that!) Explain what a balanced meal has to contain; protein, veg, carb etc and see what they come up with.

Failing that I'd start with the pasta bake and tweak it a bit and leave things large enough to pick out.
Pasta bake with peppers and courgette.
Pasta bake with broccoli and bacon.
Polenta and couscous aren't on their lists. Is that because they eat them or because they don't know what it is? What about noodles, gnocchi etc

Personally, I'm mean. Unless it's something totally new, when they have to taste it, or something I know they don't like (v. rare) then they eat it or they don't eat. Yoghurt and fruit, maybe a slice of bread as an alternative.

I feel you op. Both dd are so fussy there is hardly any overlap with what they eat. Dd1 has ASD. Tonight dd2 only ate peas and dd1 only mackerel. Dh and I had something different.

It's all very well saying ignore it and don't cater to fussy eaters, but it's a miserable meal when one or both dc cry and kick up a fuss like tonight. We didn't give in but to me it still ruined our mealtime. It's rely hard work.

Do you plate up meals or let them serve themselves? Mealtimes are much, much calmer and happier ever since I started only plating up the sausages/chicken/main part. Everything else is in bowls/dishes and people help themselves.

I've got a picky teenage DS, there are very few meals he'll just eat (and they're pretty much packets from freezer to oven tray).
Sausages are ok, as long as they're cremated well done. Rice is barely tolerated, as are noodles or pasta, potatoes are ok as long as there's no skin on them. The only acceptable sauces are BBQ or mayonnaise (as long as not homemade). Burgers as long as no salad. Pizza as long as it's pepperoni or BBQ with no veg or spice. Fish fingers are ok, but he'll CSI any fresh fish looking for any hint of skin or bones.
He can happily go several days eating nothing if there are no acceptable choices.
As an added complication, I have low iron so need to get more iron-rich foods into my diet, which means I pretty much eat what the family are eating plus green veg and beans, minus most of the carbs.
It's a constant battle getting even one portion of veg a week into him, let alone five a day!

Oh OP I feel your pain. I now mostly eat at work so I don’t care what they eat. No 2 of my 3 children eat the same things.

DH serves them a variety of chops, chicken pieces, steak, bacon, with veg which they always refuse, and some kind of carb. They eat a tiny fraction of it but at least I am not spending ages cooking an actual meal and watching the little feckers push it about their plates. I eat literally anything but rarely now will I eat with them it bugs me so much after years and years of trying. We don’t cook another meal for them, they have cereal at bedtime if they are still hungry. None of them has died yet and they are all low but still good weights so they seem to survive on the fresh air they mainly eat.

If DH is so particular about what he'll eat I'd let him do the cooking. Of course the children will be demanding when they see an adult behaving the same!

Butterymuffin, I've tried that. We end up with a plate of stodge or junk food tbh plus unfortunately since I work mornings and he works until 6pm it kind of falls on me to cook.

I should say he pulls his weight 50:50 if not more on everything else at home though so it's just one of those things that became "my job".

Martagon and Meglet atleast we're not alone!

Mamabear that always seemed the sensible option to me too but unfortunately it works out very pricey in terms of DH as he will go buy Pot Noodles or packaged stuff instead which we just can't afford but it's not fair for him to go hungry either.

Where DS is concerned, he's 11 now and has been under the care of a dietician since 18 months as he started to refuse formula from a young age and we were advised to basically sneak it in where we could alongside food from 17 weeks. In hindsight I think this has contributed but I could be wrong.

When he was 3 we were told to go eat or don't "because he won't starve himself" but unfortunately he did and ended up in hospital being threatened with drips and tube feeding after 5 days until they realised he will eat some solid, dry foods where we told to feed him whatever he will eat and he'll grow out of it but he never has and seems to have developed anxiety and phobia along the way.

Fluffy only me and DD eat Bolognese but I do make it sometimes and let the others have junk but between trying to budget and plan meals for more than one each night it's all very repetitive!

As for our relationship, well everything's happy in all other aspects so it's not really divorce worthy! Granted we got together very young when our Mums were doing the cooking and neither of us knew what was what, then DS was born and I guess with DH being clueless and me not knowing much about the kitchen or nutrition we sort of started him off on the wrong foot which I admit and beat myself up about sometimes! Had I been older then maybe I would've thought differently but hindsight is a wonderful thing...

Cook for the kids

DH fends for himself, once he has mastered turning the oven on, then he cooks 3 nights a week for the kids also.

This. If DH is fussy that's his lookout. Tell him to make a cheap list of what he wants to eat, if he tends to make expensive choices off the cuff.
And most working parents don't get home till 6 and still cook. Our two get a hot meal at school/nursery so we do a packed tea for them and cook for us. But he could cook extra at weekends and have extra portions for a couple of weekdays - e.g. he could take SSMTu.

homeoffice the kids are 11 (this is the fussy one) and 5.

I always ask them to suggest meals when I attempt to write a meal plan and DS' answer is always the same. Cheese toastie, pepperoni pasta bake, sausage rolls, sausages, fish finger sandwiches.

He won't eat couscous (nor will DH or DD) for various reasons amongst them and he won't eat noodles but the others will.

DS wont touch "raw food" despite many attempts at parent/child cookery lessons and trying to get him involved at home but DD loves to get stuck in and make a mess :o

He eats approx 15 bits of penne pasta from the pasta bake if that, it has to be the Homepride jar too. I tried making home made but he twigged straight away as the sauce smelled different

Xmasbaby yes, to everything in your post! Many a night has been spent at the table ending in shouting, screaming, crying, lots of frustration and on more than one occasion vomitting!

Pinkbicycles again yes to your post. Cereal for dinner atleast twice a week here.

What's SSMTu?

Sorry, that was to @drspouse.

Neither of mine get cooked lunches at nursery or school so they need fed something or other and I don't want to eat junk either.

That was sort of my frustration in writing this post.

Sat, Sun, Mon, Tues.