To think meal planning for fussy eaters is near impossible?!

[YerAuntFanny]

I know IANBU and I'm not really sure what the point of this is but ffs I am seriously getting hacked off with picky eaters. We are a family of 4, 2 of whom are VERY restricted on their food intake.

For example:
DH won't eat veg, fish, baked potatoes and not keen on pasta but will tolerate a Homepride pepperoni pasta bake

DS (possible ASD and sensory issues) won't eat veg, fruit, pasta (but again will eat a few forkfulls of the pepperoni pasta bake!) rice, potatoes, chicken, fish, eggs, soups, ham, cheese (unless on toast or pizza). The only meat that passes his lips are sausages and bacon.

DD is great but can't tolerate anything with even a hint of spice.

Then there's me, I will generally eat or try anything atleast once BUT I'm following Slimming World so I try to be as healthy as I can and don't buy processed foods often.

We can't afford to buy to suit each person, infact our budget is £60 a week but now I'm really struggling for ideas and money. It's always me that has to compromise on what I eat to accommodate them and it's me that gets landed cooking 3 meals each night if I don't.

Please tell me I'm not the only one who struggles with this and if you do too anyone got any tips?

I promise you I really feel your pain - feeding my kids has caused me to despair. However, I have found that meal planning really healed deal with my food- anxious child. I spend time at the weekend before I shop writing down my plan(initial ideas) for breakfast & tea each day. I then go through it individually with all children jotting down simple alterations, i.e. Egg (x) or fish fingers (y&z). The plan then sits in quite a prominent place in the kitchen. I find the advance plan/discussion really helps the kids to flag up issues & it has significantly reduced anxiety levels although doing the plan is a complete pain in the ass. One upside is that I can recycle the plans every 2/3 weeks. I often see the kids checking it themselves so they know what's coming.

House of 5 two kids with ASD, one of them very restrictive diet, issues around taste and texture and food touching other food... I have been through all the stages to get to acceptance of ds and his food ishoos he is a lanky and extremely healthy 13 yo so lack of variety has not stunted his physical development just the menu. I tend to cook two meals at dinner, one ds will eat, one for the rest. The most successful meals are help yourself type layouts on the dinner table where he can self select the items he can eat and I nag him to eat something green (broccoli where he will nibble the foliage and leave the trunk, or peas generally). I also make lentil and veg soup regularly, as long as I blend it smooth and provide tons of toast and croutons he will finish a bowl. Otherwise for him it is pasta (one type of ravioli, two types of sauce are possible), pizza 2 shop bought varieties are acceptable or homemade, curly chips, Quorn sausages or Linda macartney burgers. The others are less fussy but I try to ensure we have all the same meal a couple of times a week and we encourage ds to try new things but don't sanction him for not liking them as we know he is not being "awkward" he just is hyper sensitive - that's why he can't wear certain fabrics, he wears ear defenders regularly and can tell when I have used a different brand of tinned tomatoes in my pasta sauce.

All three of ours tried fussy eating, the most stubborn lasted a week.
I just wouldn't allow it, and cook one meal per day as I'm not a slave, they grew up ok.
That's not to say I made them eat something they didn't like, but there wasn't much once they'd stopped the fussiness.
I was hard though and wouldn't give in.
They didn't eat it, so did without. Meal was put in fridge until next meal and out it came.
As grown ups and teen now, they eat most things.

Good for you gillybeanz, but some kids really would go hungry rather than eat something they don't like.

I wouldn't have given mine something they didn't like though, and they tried everything.
I just wouldn't allow fussiness.
My point was when they grow up, even if you take the hard approach they are eating well and healthy.
It wasn't I thought I was right, just a view.

I get what you're saying Gilly.

My DS will (and has!) literally thrown up on his plate because he has put a pea in his mouth, he can't try new things because of the phobia and his "allowed" foods are so few he basically has the same 3 meals everyday.

Breakfast:Cereal with milk for breakfast.

Lunch: 2 slices of bread with butter/jam/curd, a handful of grapes and sometimes he'll tolerate a strawberry frontage frais.

Dinner: 2 sausages, oven chips or cheese toastie.

Fromage not frontage obviously 😂

Omg just make one meal and let them go hungry if they don't eat it is the magic solution? Why did no one tell me this before! Said no mum of child with food aversions ever

YerAuntFanny

I think that is much different than a child being fussy for the sake of it, pushing boundaries.
I wouldn't consider your ds to be fussy though.
He has meals that he enjoys, even though ideally he would try other things, you are doing the best with your situation .
I think fussy is when they don't want to eat a meal they like, just to be difficult.

ASD food is not simply fussiness it can be a sensory problem (aka i have ASD and i cannot stomach certain strong flavored / smelly food and as a child i would not eat them as it phyiscally made me sick but my parents had the same approach as a poster above simply labelling it as fussy).

By that brush Vegan and vegetarians are fussy eaters too and should not be catered too if they don't want to eat a meal tough they should go without (said no one ever). ASD food problems ARE not a choose like the pre mentioned things why do we accommodate some fussiness (aka vegi's and vegans) but treat genuine conditions like its childish.

Before i start i mean ASD and related conditions rather then neuotypical adult fussiness (and if you don't know ASD is more often then not hereditary so i would bet £10 your husband / partner has it espically since your son has it, but i am not a arm chair doctor so it might just be he's fussy.

As DS will eat pizza how about making one or even better let them make their own! We had a picky eater (not ASD just didn't want to try new foods) in the family so made pizza (always thumbs up from the whole group!) when they came over. We made a veg sauce, it was just "pizza sauce", once it was topped with cheese they were left to decorate it with whatever they wanted always ham/sausage and way too much cheese they were none the wiser and loved it! Eventually they helped make it with us and realised they didn't really hate tomatoes, mushrooms, onion, garlic, herbs & whatever else ended up in there! It's easier than you think to make pizza bases but if you don't want to, you can buy them but they're not as nice.
We got them to love sweet potato wedges & blueberries too but can't remember how now
Jamie Oliver has a 7 veg sauce that might be helpful.

I would definitely say I did the same as you Gilly I have never cooked a separate meal, but my kids don’t like sauce of any kind no spaghetti bols, no Shepard’s pie, no fish pie, they don’t eat any spice at any level, no curry, no stews, no mac and cheese, not really pizza but they eat garlic bread. They cannot stand any wet food.

They are fussy by any definition, after years of trying that method I’ve just given up on it and as I said DH cooks the plainest of plain food and they nibble at the sides of that. They were fed every meal from scratch as babies and by any standard I am a good cook, I have had 4 au pairs from over Europe and a husband who love my cooking. They just cannot stand any sauce and are therefore fussy as feck. I believe they’ll grow out of it but I certainly know I tried everything to extend their palattes as best as I could so personally I just think you don’t have fussy children from what you have written . My DB was exactly the same as my kids and ironically I was the exact opposite, I could not stand dry food and would never have liked what my kids “like” now.

2 of mine have sensory issues though, one has ASD and the other SPD. The 3rd is better than the other 2 but is still pretty fussy.

pinkbicycles my Ds is nearly 6 and wouldn’t eat any food in sauce until about 2 weeks ago where he suddenly ate STEW! He’s eaten it twice since! Admittedly he’s just eaten the meat, and not the sauce/carrots but that is a huge breakthrough for us. He has gradually got better-and like your kids will not eat anything spicy, but his main fussiness is fruit. He will NOT eat any fruit or raw veg. But he eats broccoli and peas. So we eat those a lot!

If you and DD like Bolognese and vegetable pasta sauces OP, I'd make batches of that up and have it a couple of times a week, while DH and DS have their crap. And while it isn't DS fault, DH is a grown up and could do with learning how hard he's making your life. He needs to be responsible at least a night or two a week. He's not always working.

Unicorn that is great. My youngest is 6 and eldest just 13 so we definitely aren’t making as good progress but my brother was about 16 before he outgrew it. DSIL also with ASD has never outgrown it though.

I think batch cooking will probably help at least then if you all end up with something different then it’s “easier” and generally cooking in bulk works out cheaper in the long run.

Ds has a very restricted diet, tea 9 nights out of 10 is now turkey dinosaurs and chips and last two nights he has left the dinosaurs worryingly. No point trying to change it so i batch cook for me and then just need to defrost and reheat

Cook what you want/

If it's hot then leave a bit spice free for DD.

Teach 11year old to cook his own junk food- since it is all just throw in the oven crap he should be well able to do that. Tat gives him the control over what he is eating which can take the pressure off picky ones.

DH can eat what you do or go hungry.

Ridiculous to be pandering to everyone.

Pinkbicycles, I don't class DD as fussy I was just adding in that no spice is yet another thing to consider when trying to plan meals.

I'm not sure what you mean though that yours are fussy but my DS isn't? Atleast that's what I got from your post. He's the same as yours, no wet food except the occasional fromage frais yogurt and cereal with milk and 15 pieces of pepperoni pasta. He will only eat one specific brand/flavour of pizza as it has barely any sauce on it.

Anyway, my original point wasn't so much whether they are fussy or not it was that it's bloody frustrating trying to feed 4 people with very different eating habits on a budget of £60 (maximum a week). Buying the junk to suit them is the problem because it automatically means that there is less healthy stuff which leads to us all living on shit!