Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

When someone takes a dislike to you

66 replies

Bahhhhhumbug · 13/04/2018 10:39

or l think they have at least, here goes :
Taking my dog to obedience class and the business is run by a young woman and an older lady does the training whilst she watches.
So far the owner has asked me two first weeks on trot for the balance for the course (l paid it as requested prior to course) Her tone was almost argumentative that she doubted me and the third week l brought a bank printout proving l had.
She has never engaged in any conversation with me (she has with the others) including not saying hello or goodbye or thanks except when l've practically stood right in front of her and repeated loudly my first ignored one.
The only times she has engaged was as above to request money. Another time to try and flog me a haltie type lead that l could buy half the price at local pet shop. I declined politely and she then said l could take it home and pay for it next week which made me feel quite pressurised. When l again declined she just walked off without commenting in a very PA way.
Then we were doing a recall exercise and the trainer stood one end of hall and l had go to other and call dog to me. First one didn't go very well so she pipes up asking me what command l use at home and then said quite arsily that l didn't use that word once during exercise. I don't mind having this pointed out to me but it was the hostile delivery.
Last week my dog had a nightmare lesson would hardly even bloody sit let alone anything else we'd learnt. So l said a few times that dog had been doing these things well at home all week (was true). Second time l said it about the third or fourth exercise that dog 'refused' she did a very sarcastic 'hmmm' kind of noise and an eyerolling face as if to say 'yeah right'.
DH said l should've walked out at this point and told her where to stick it but lm not very assertive so l just said that yes dog had definitely been doing these things and the trainer said never mind it happens sometimes we can all have a bad day etc.
When l left at the end she was outside on the driveway holding her dog and l walked past her within a couple of feet with my dog that pulled to get near hers and l pulled dog away successfully and went to say goodbye but l looked at her and she was blatantly avoiding eye contact and looking round me etc (nothing going on there she just clearly didn't want to engage) So me being me l still said 'Bye' loudly and she ignored me.
I don't want to go to exam next week as lm sure she'll fail my dog whatever happens.

Any advice what l should say or do or how to deal with this. Would you bother going for exam?

OP posts:
Bahhhhhumbug · 13/04/2018 10:45

Sorry l know l sound pathetic but she is definitely very different with the others and has little extra 'curriculum' chats with them and fusses over their dogs etc. I don't usually have this problem either lm very friendly and very polite person a d make friends easily etc. ( not that l want to be her best friend or anything)

OP posts:
AjasLipstick · 13/04/2018 10:45

Go to the exam, go through it....then say to her at the very end. "This has been a very informative experience, I am looking forward to feeding back to the Society which sent me as a tester. Thank you."

And walk off.

Then leave a SCATHING review on her social media.

She will crap herself when she thinks you're some sort of secret shopper.

QuiteLikely5 · 13/04/2018 10:49

Definitely what lipstick said 😂 so funny

Bahhhhhumbug · 13/04/2018 10:57

Thanks Ajas, for not thinking l'm pathetic mainly !!
That's a good idea l will have to find out what the dog trainer societies etc are as lve no idea but it's a universal course so their must be some sort of membership of registration required.
I'm worried though that if she fails me, as lve been a wuss so far if l then suddenly say something it will look like just sour grapes..
I have looked for reviews and there are actually very few but all excellent. Which makes me feel worse and that it must be me !

OP posts:
Trinity66 · 13/04/2018 11:00

She's not going to be in business very long with that kind of an attitude

Bahhhhhumbug · 13/04/2018 11:02

Actually about ten dogs and owners on course at beginning and we're now down to three last few weeks (ten week course paid in advance) so a lot dropped out and wasted a fair amount of money. So maybe not just me!

OP posts:
RatherBeRiding · 13/04/2018 11:02

It is quite possible to just take a dislike (often quite irrational) to someone. However, she has taken money off you to provide you with a service and her behaviour sounds highly unprofessional, to say the least.

Don't worry about the reviews - sometimes people have a negative experience but just don't want to leave a negative review. The fact that there are very few reviews at all might point to the latter!

Just make sure you leave an honest review. I find that if you start out with something positive, then slip the "but...." in later it is more effective.

Bahhhhhumbug · 13/04/2018 11:04

That's what l don't get about her Trinity, but apparently she's a good trainer in her speciality field. But l would love to be in touch with some of those that have dropped out and hear what they think.

OP posts:
Shizzlestix · 13/04/2018 11:05

Is it your breed of dog she doesn’t like? Some people are very funny about certain types.

I was treated similarly when I took my puppy to training, but I think it was because I joined late, didn’t suck up to the trainer and wanted a very definite outcome from the class ie more socialisation than actual training.

DingDongDenny · 13/04/2018 11:08

The trick with people like that is to reassure yourself it's not you it's them and remind yourself how much better your life is because you aren't permanently in a narky mood

Bahhhhhumbug · 13/04/2018 11:08

Yes l will do Rather and she has been in business about four years so it's odd about the reviews.

OP posts:
Bahhhhhumbug · 13/04/2018 11:12

Anyone any advice on what if anything to say to her or not say anything. My DH says l should call her on it and ask her if she's got a problem with me. But he's a very confident lairy bugger (or can be) so it's alright for him.

OP posts:
TenThousandSpoons · 13/04/2018 11:12

Could she be deleting any negative reviews on her own social media? If so you could damn her with faint praise then leave your real review on google - search for the business on google maps and leave your review there - she can’t then take it down. I’d go to the exam and see what happens before you review.

Bahhhhhumbug · 13/04/2018 11:19

Thank you Shizzle and Ding-dong.
This is very outing already so hesitate to say why but absolutely definitely not a problem with the breed and my dog is very friendly with other dogs and people alike.
Yes l am trying not to take it personally and thinking its her problem not mine but just find it really exasperating and am sure it's affecting my dogs behaviour as they do pick up on your anxiety in any situation don't they.

OP posts:
Ofthread · 13/04/2018 11:21

It could be anything, it could be that you are good looking, or have a nice car, for example. Sad, but true. It's good to say 'GOODBYE' when she's avoiding eye contact, for example, as you did. But really, life is too short for these kind of assholes who take up space in this world.

Finderscrispy · 13/04/2018 11:24

Maybe she’s more of a dog person than a people person, she also just be a funny buggar too so don’t take it personal.

Also , if she’s putting you on edge during the training sessions with her behaviour your dog could be picking up on it and the reason they’re not following commands during the class.

TattyTShirt · 13/04/2018 11:26

Is your dog a puppy OP? Most dogs are brilliant at training at home but when placed in a stimulating environment - amongst other dogs their sense goes out the window. A puppy will simply go all out to play with other Puppies.

This happens at all puppy training classes. Fortunately dog trainers know this and make allowances for normal puppy impulses.

It sounds as if your trainer has taken a dislike to you (for whatever reason). I don't think she will fail your dog though. It wouldn't look good on her if the dogs she is training fail

You will probably be given a feedback form on your last day. Fill it in honestly then go and find another training group.

Dogs trust are very good. Only 6 puppies per class and 3 trainers so you'll get a ratio of 2:1 attention and advice. Plus each puppy is assigned a cubicle (a space with a curtain each side) so they cannot see the other Puppies which helps them to focus on you. They mix together as a group when relevent. They have playtime with the others at the end of each class. Good Luck!

Bahhhhhumbug · 13/04/2018 11:27

Ofthead DH suggested my looks but he's clearly biased and looking through the love goggles lol.
You are right l am giving her far too much headspace.

OP posts:
Bahhhhhumbug · 13/04/2018 11:31

Will be back in a few hours thanks so much for all replies and advice so far. Have to be somewhere in RL for a while now x

OP posts:
Bahhhhhumbug · 13/04/2018 11:33

Nearest Dogs Trust is many miles away unfortunately. Dog is young but not a puppy only had her a few months though. Will answer more fully later thanks again.

OP posts:
Queenoftheblitz · 13/04/2018 11:33

I agree with your dp. The trick is to ask the person "have I done something to offend you"? In a concerned way.

People tend to get flummoxed and say " no what makes you think that?"
I reply "you seem quite abrupt with me at times".
It works everytime. They then go out of their way to be nice to you.

Bahhhhhumbug · 13/04/2018 11:33

him

OP posts:
PurpleSea · 13/04/2018 11:34

In your place, I would have called her out by saying "is something the matter?" when she did one of her eyerolls or ignored me. If she'd said no, I would have said "oh, it's just that you're pulling rude faces at me/have just ignored me". She probably only does it to you because she thinks she can get away with it...

I'm shocked that she would treat customers so rudely. Definitely leave a scathing review.

PurpleSea · 13/04/2018 11:35

Crossposted with Queen!

InspMorse · 13/04/2018 11:41

but apparently she's a good trainer in her speciality field

She's obviously not!
Her job here is to train you to train the dog surely? Or is she going to be living with your dog after the course?!