When someone takes a dislike to you

[Bahhhhhumbug]

or l think they have at least, here goes :
Taking my dog to obedience class and the business is run by a young woman and an older lady does the training whilst she watches.
So far the owner has asked me two first weeks on trot for the balance for the course (l paid it as requested prior to course) Her tone was almost argumentative that she doubted me and the third week l brought a bank printout proving l had.
She has never engaged in any conversation with me (she has with the others) including not saying hello or goodbye or thanks except when l've practically stood right in front of her and repeated loudly my first ignored one.
The only times she has engaged was as above to request money. Another time to try and flog me a haltie type lead that l could buy half the price at local pet shop. I declined politely and she then said l could take it home and pay for it next week which made me feel quite pressurised. When l again declined she just walked off without commenting in a very PA way.
Then we were doing a recall exercise and the trainer stood one end of hall and l had go to other and call dog to me. First one didn't go very well so she pipes up asking me what command l use at home and then said quite arsily that l didn't use that word once during exercise. I don't mind having this pointed out to me but it was the hostile delivery.
Last week my dog had a nightmare lesson would hardly even bloody sit let alone anything else we'd learnt. So l said a few times that dog had been doing these things well at home all week (was true). Second time l said it about the third or fourth exercise that dog 'refused' she did a very sarcastic 'hmmm' kind of noise and an eyerolling face as if to say 'yeah right'.
DH said l should've walked out at this point and told her where to stick it but lm not very assertive so l just said that yes dog had definitely been doing these things and the trainer said never mind it happens sometimes we can all have a bad day etc.
When l left at the end she was outside on the driveway holding her dog and l walked past her within a couple of feet with my dog that pulled to get near hers and l pulled dog away successfully and went to say goodbye but l looked at her and she was blatantly avoiding eye contact and looking round me etc (nothing going on there she just clearly didn't want to engage) So me being me l still said 'Bye' loudly and she ignored me.
I don't want to go to exam next week as lm sure she'll fail my dog whatever happens.

Any advice what l should say or do or how to deal with this. Would you bother going for exam?

I hope she wasn't suggesting a halite as a permanent solution, just a training aid? Shit trainer if she was. Horrible things which mess with a dog's natural way of walking and experiencing the world-mainly for people who have tried everything else and failed.

Sorry, OP, on the actual AIBU subject, I have playgroup mum like this. Found whenever I tried to be nice, she'd be a cow, but if I blatantly ignored her she'd come up to me and try to be nice. Really weird psychology - I guess as the one trying to be nice you're taking the submissive role. Maybe if you frost over, quite clearly, she'll soften up. But you're only there a short while longer, maybe it's not worth worrying about. It's crap but not everyone has to like us - if we haven't given them a reason to dislike us then it's their problem.

You said that loads of people dropped out? Well, that proves that she's rubbish!

I kind of had something similar years ago when I took my Heinz 57 pup to obedience classes. The woman who ran the classes was very unfriendly to me (but happy enough to take my money) and quite scathing of my lovely pup...and the only thing I can think of that stood out about us in any way was that my pup was the only mongrel there. She was noticibly less warm, encouraging, interested and complimentary about my dog than everyone else’s and that led on to her being the same with me...she was haughty and unapproachable and wouldn’t look me in the eye when I spoke with her. It was both pathetic and disconcerting.

I ended up asking for a refund for the rest of the course and not going back. To my surprise, she complied readily. She really did not like us, did she?

I have archived that as a weird experience.

In my experience (and I have been to various different puppy training classes over the years) these people are absolutely awful with people. They think they're experts with dogs, but have no people skills whatsoever. I've seen many people treated terribly when they struggle with their puppies. Puppies are there to be trained, of course they will not always behave and do exactly what they're supposed to, that's why you're attending.

I went to one particularly awful class where the person training was rude to almost everyone, but not to me strangely, and thought her own dogs perfect. When out on a local walk we bumped into this woman and her dogs and they were aggressive and should have been kept on leads, their ability to interact with other dogs was awful. So I now choose to avoid these costly, waste of time classes altogether.

I'd find a new trainer and your dog is probably picking up on how you feel when you are there.

(btw dogs are contrary creatures - ours is usually v good and goes to obedience classes still as there is lots of agility and he enjoys it , and last night he barked at another dog on his walk)

People are weird. This would have bothered me ten years ago but these days I'd enjoy getting her in conversation and making a nuisance of myself with my cheery, repeated greetings and 'Is something wrong? You look very down this afternoon!' chit-chat

I do like the idea of the Society Reviewer, I think I'd definitely do that!!!!

I've had dogs for years and I have met many such people who are great with dogs but rubbish with people. They can seem abrupt and rude, If I were you, I'd take what I can out of the course and ignore the rest. It's just a course, you don't have to see her everyday for years to come, so I wouldn't bother challenging her on it.

“They think they're experts with dogs, but have no people skills whatsoever. I've seen many people treated terribly when they struggle with their puppies. Puppies are there to be trained, of course they will not always behave and do exactly what they're supposed to, that's why you're attending.“

This. 100%. It is true to say that some doggy people I have met over the years have had poor social skills and rigid, self-important opinions regarding all things dog like they are the only expert worth listening to. You see it on dog threads on here - people so full of themselves but no manners at all.

Fwiw you sound lovely. She sounds incredibly rude.

Not much help I know! Just wanted to say try not to take it personally. She doesn't sound like she should be working with people at all.

She sounds very unprofessional.
But you're right OP, she has the issue - not you! you've done nothing wrong and to be honest as you're paying for a service she should be better.
You could maybe write a letter/email after the course with your feedback and very civily outline your experience explaining you weren't fully satisfied with the course and that was why, it might make you feel better and you don't need to have a confrontation with her. It also might mean she realises the effect she's having on customers and be a bit more amiable...

Actually about ten dogs and owners on course at beginning and we're now down to three last few weeks (ten week course paid in advance)
This should also go in your review of the course! I would seriously not go on a course where the drop out rate, in 10 weeks, is 70% (and you're still there but hating it!).

I do sympathise OP, I once went on an assertiveness course (was in early 20's), and the tutor ran an exercise where she asked for examples of something. I gave one which several people nodded in agreement at, but she became furious (I guess it hit a nerve in her personal life, but I didn't phrase it about her, it was very general!). She yelled at me, and had to go out and compose herself. Then she continued as if nothing had happened, but ignored me completely for the remainder if the course!
I also had one female manager who would fly into a rage with me about things (one example was the fact that I was working in a particular task, and she hadn't known, but she generally took no interest in what I was doing, and I had told her anyway by email...but I still apologised and asked if she wanted me to pull out of the work, she didn't!).
Other people would come and ask what it was about, but I genuinely had no idea !
I think you have to just ignore it - if you get on with most people, its just their wierdness, and not your problem!

I'd look her up on social media and see if you have any mutual friends in common or even frienemies.

I wonder if she's judging you based on a rumour or something someone else has said?

I'd start call her out on her rudeness... "Excuse me!?" in a brisque tone followed by a stare is very effective.

Definitely leave a review. She can't delete individual reviews she can only remove the whole section from being visible at all.

Well you sound lovely op. Take your dh with you to the exam. She won’t fail you.

My puppy was the sweetest puppy ever in the universe. puppy training was useless. She’s as daft as a brush and we were the laughing stock of the class. So you obviously far better then me.

Deffo give her an honest review

She sounds awful.

Why the fuck is she working with people (and dogs for that matter)

if you frost over, quite clearly, she'll soften up

Yes, this. I had a playgroup mum friend colleague who used to sort of hhalf-arsed blank me and eyeroll sarcastically when I said hello, so I started ignoring her all together and then she started being really friendly. What is wrong with these people? How do they get like that? I had an abusive parent, I mean I'm messed in the head, but even I didn't understand what that was all about...

I've had this happen to me. It's horrible. My advice is to be really, ridiculously lovely to her. Very over the top. Ask her how her weekend was. Compliment her jacket or her hair. Tell her how much you look forward to coming to her class. Totally go to town. You will force her to be nice to you. She will feel awful. And you will feel good because you didn't stoop to her level.

Just a point about your puppy doing things at home OP but not doing them in the class.

When a dog learns a new skill, at first it will often only perform it in the environment in which it has learned it - obviously dog will eventually be able to use that skill in more general settings - so if you've taught him something at home, that's where he'll be able to do it best.

As a dog trainer she will know that and making you feel uncomfortable and trying to put you down by implying you're lying about your dog doing things at home that you've trained him to do at home is just nasty.

He's a baby being asked to use his new skills in a setting where there are lots of distractions, it's not surprising if he doesn't immediately jump to do what's asked of him.

The idea of puppy training classes is to give the owner the understanding and confidence to go away and train their dog. My dog learned nothing really while we were actually in the classes and tbh I think she actually just scraped a sort of 'pity pass'. All the actually training done either at home or in the park.

Take your DH to the exam with you. Is it a KC Good Citizen award? I'd have to tell her at the end that you'd be making an official complaint to the Kennel Club.

Also, if you speak and she ignores you or looks away, I'd have to stand where she looks and tell her I was speaking to her and ask her if she meant to be so rude.

She's supposed to be professional.

Ignore her. Go to a different trainer, possibly? People are idiots. (Not you - her) x

If you're quiet and not hugely confident some people can just be shits :(

Hi everybody l'm back. Thank you so much for all your replies. I feel so much better having read them all. I was quite upset last night. Its not that l want everyone to like me, but otoh l don't want anyone to actively dislike me ! I guess l'm a people pleaser and always strive to be as nice and kind a person as l can be and when someone dislikes you it throws that into question l suppose, should stop it immediately lol.
Thank you to who said l sound lovely.
I think it is the KC one as Good Citizen and Bronze Silver Gold was mentioned etc. So a note to them is a good idea.
Yes l am quiet and lacking in confidence so yes maybe she always picks one and l seemed the least likely to tell her to feck off.
I know what posters are saying about (some) dog trainers being a bit know it all and not so good with people, there is a 'type' isn't there, but no offence to anyone involved in dog training etc there are some lovely people too.
I thought about taking DH to last class/exam and he doesn't take prisoners and would call her out straight away and/or give me the confidence to by his presence. Problem is dog absolutely adores him and will be trying to get to him if a choice between him and me (even though l feed, walk and play with the most lol) so would be more likely to fail.
It's not worth starting another one as it's last one, the exam next but l certainly won't be going to her for silver course if l bother at all.