opinions on this please

[DropItLikeASquat]

AIBU to not know what to do??

This is long and complicated but ill try to give as much info as I can so I am not drip feeding.

I regularly meet up with 2 other mummers for playdates and a cuppa.

We became ‘friends’ through a local baby group and were all single parents at the time. We were part of a bigger mums group but as other mums have gone back off mat leave its just us 3 left.

Friend 1 lets call her ‘Mable’ and I are still single parents and do not have partners.

Friend 2 lets call her ‘Babs’ has got back with the father of her children and this is where it gets complicated. Gabs claims single parent benefits.

Babs and Mr Babs (not married) are in both mine and Mables opinions a ‘couple’.
Apart from him staying with friends for a short while, he hasn’t really left the family home, has all of his belongings at her home and works full time earning quite a good salary and transfers money into er account each month for what she calls ‘child maintenance’.
He gets his bank statements etc sent to his friends address and uses is it for his correspondence, but never stays there overnight.
Babs calls him her partner, they are raising their children together in a joint household and he does not physically reside elsewhere.
Babs says that she will not consider them to be a couple until he officially ‘moves in’ and they re-establish a financial connection etc.
Mable believes Gabs is committing fraud. Mable is furious because she really struggles on her own and privately told me she is tempted to report Gabs for fraud.
I know deep down that what Gabs is doing is wrong and I feel its unfair that she has wayyyyy more disposable income that myself and Mable due to her interesting family ‘setup’.

My gut feel like this is wrong and that I should support Mable in her decision to report the situation but I feel like I am being dishonest to Gabs.

I want to sit on the fence and not get involved but after chatting to a family member of mine I realise that by doing noting I am support Babs in her lifestyle and refusal to declare her real circumstances.

My question is AIBU to not feel the desperate urge to report Babs and WWYD if you were in this situation.

To add content I am going through a horrible cohabitation battle with my ex at the moment and this is something that personally touches a nerve which could possibly explain my indifferent feeling towards it.

Report it, it's completely wrong.

I agree, report it. Whats make this woman think she is above the law. Stupid woman.

I'd keep schtum it'll come out anyway. I'd hate the awkwardness of them crying on my shoulder and I've been involved. not that the consequences aren't deserved

It would be the right thing to do. System cheaters like this are the ones making life harder for claimants in genuine need. I understand your predicament though. Good luck x

YABU. Why do you want to run clactailing. How will it enhance your life.
To be perfectly honest you and Babs sound like a pair of she snakes
and you call yourselves her friends.

What Moomin said.

His residence or domicile is where he pays his council tax/registered to vote.

As far as I'm aware, having a sex life isn't illegal? On the face of it he's living else where, he pays child support. It's called paying the game. Unethical of course but not illegal.

You can actually be separated and still live in the same property too.

It’s benefit fraud but it’s a difficult position to be in.

But is he still staying with his friend?

I think a fictional friend who has just been shopped story might be in order.

I don’t know how it will make Mabel’s life any easier by reporting her friend. Will she get the money babs received fraudulently?

I'd report her.

I despise tax avoidance and benefit fraud.

Just stop being friends with her and then she won’t be able to run your nose in her financial situation and it will cease to annoy you.

I’m totally confoozled.

Are Babs and Gabs the same person? Why does OP keep switching their names?

just to clarify, I am not saying that myself and Mable are going to report her, I'm asking opinions and was asking if IABU for feeling indifferent either way. I just don't want to side with either of them but also understand that by omitting to report babs and support Mable, I am effectively supporting gabs and omitting to support Mable IYSWIM.
god I hate being friends with other mums sometimes.

Yes let’s all play the system and wonder why budgets for kids with Sen, police and nurses are being cut. Sure this is only one example but what if everyone thought and acted in that way?

by omitting to report babs and support Mable, I am effectively supporting gabs and omitting to support Mable IYSWIM.

FFS!!!!! Pick a name!

Babs and Gabs are the same person?

If you report her, she is no longer your friend. Perhaps that’s what you need to focus on, how much do you value your principles above her friendship? I don’t condone it in any way, but I’m not sure I would put hardship on a true friend. It will probably resolve itself one way or another without your involvement.

NewYearNewMe18

That is not correct. It would be classed as benefit fraud.

I would stay well out of it as none of it is anything to do with you and life's hard enough.

Also, imo, benefit fraud is not the reason for other social cuts. (We always seem to have money for war, MP expenses and bankers).

As @Ski40 said, it is people like this who make life harder for genuine claimants so yes I would be tempted to report her but in real life I don't know if I could do it and stay her friend to her face

She's stealing from the rest of us and making it harder for those in need to receive the support they need. They more people you commit benefit fraud the stricter they have to become about policing it.

Babs/Gabs is scum.

I wouldn't be friends with a shop lifter so wouldn't be friends with a benefit fraudster either.