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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU about pocket money

65 replies

brookewestbabes · 12/04/2018 17:47

my DD has recently turned 6 and i felt this was a good time to start giving her pocket money. me and DP don't have a lot of money so we felt £1 a week was reasonable. however shes come home from school to tell me that after telling her friends about how much pocket money she gets theyve started calling her mean names, telling her shes poor because they get more. she said one gets a fiver a week which is ridiculous for a 6 yr old! after talking to the girls mums about the name calling, one of them told me £1 was unfair and i got so angry i called her a nasty bitch to her face which i admit was a bit much. what does everyone think?

OP posts:

endofacentury · 12/04/2018 17:49

£1 perfectly reasonable for a 6 year old! My 13 year old only gets £20 a month

Shoxfordian · 12/04/2018 17:51

I think a pound a week is ok if that's what you can afford. Probably best to avoid calling other mums bitches especially if in front of the children

Original poster

brookewestbabes · 12/04/2018 17:53

i admit that calling her a nasty bitch was a bit much, i just got so protective about it. im a proud mummy!!

OP posts:

KirstenRaymonde · 12/04/2018 17:56

Seems perfectly fair, what’s she buying other than sweets or saving for a small toy?

Byebyebye · 12/04/2018 17:58

£1 per week is fine if that’s all you can afford.

Reacting to some children saying mean names at their mum by calling her mean names isn’t really a good teaching moment is it?

Original poster

brookewestbabes · 12/04/2018 18:00

yeah just a few little bits and bobs. and i know, i felt very embarrased about it afterwards and thought about apologising but it was just so rude of her!

OP posts:

CrawfordE · 12/04/2018 18:02

£1 directly given to the child at that age is reasonable but I'd suggest also looking into child savings accounts that they don't gain access to until later. We've set DC up with investment accounts we pay into regularly that should help them when buying a house. When they are a bit older they will take over the portfolio administration which should help teach them about personal finance.

The language might be a bit severe but I would be very angry myself, I wouldn't let anyone say that to me!

Original poster

brookewestbabes · 12/04/2018 18:04

i did mention that me and DP dont have much money! we cant even save for ourselves, let alone our kids! and isnt it a bit much putting the pressure of buying a house on your kids!! but yes, i agree with the last bit, im still pissed off

OP posts:

GrowThroughWhatYouGoThrough · 12/04/2018 18:05

My nearly 6 year old can earn £7 a week she's has 5 "jobs" a day at 20p each they range from tidying her room to emptying the washer into the dryer (she never earns the whole £7 unfortunately as bad behaviour reduces from what she has earnt) I was spending £5/6 a week on a magazine before we introduced this, this way she has to earn her magazine/whatever she wants herself.

Justgivemesomepeace · 12/04/2018 18:07

It never works out well speaking to the parents. If your child is being called names go through the teacher every time. I think £1 a week for a 6 yr old is fine. My 15yr old gets £5 a week! My 5yr old doesn't really understand money. If he's good I just give him a coin. He lines them up on his windowsill and when we get to the end we add it all up and got to the corner shop for a treat.

XiCi · 12/04/2018 18:08

I think a fiver is usual for that age, certainly not ridiculous, at least among dds friends. I started giving dd a fiver at about age 6 (she's 7 now). She either gets a magazine or small toy/book etc or saves it for something big she really wants. It's turned her into a real saver which I'm happy about and made her realise the cost of all the mags etc I was previously buying her.
If you can only afford £1 that's fine, the concept is the same, just will take your dd longer to save for something she wants.

Original poster

brookewestbabes · 12/04/2018 18:08

wow £7 a week! i barely earn that an hour!! haha joking. but thats a good idea, i think 5 or 6 is a little young though. i dont want to put any pressure on my kids

OP posts:

MyKingdomForBrie · 12/04/2018 18:09

Not sure what being ‘a proud mummy’ has to do with your choice of pocket money amount, not much to be proud of in calling someone else vile names.

Not sure why you brought it up with the other mum in the first place, you asked her opinion then swore at her for it?! It’s nothing to do with anyone else how much you choose to give your dd but you can’t invite opinions if you’re not prepared to hear them.

Original poster

brookewestbabes · 12/04/2018 18:10

i didnt ask her opinion, i simply wanted to tell her that her daughter was being mean to my daughter

OP posts:

GrowThroughWhatYouGoThrough · 12/04/2018 18:10

It's not big jobs it's like putting her washing in her draws plate in the dishwasher making bed being nice to her brother lol nothing too drastic

Original poster

brookewestbabes · 12/04/2018 18:10

and whats wrong with being a proud mummy??

OP posts:

TeenTimesTwo · 12/04/2018 18:12

£1 a week is fine. It isn't as if there is anything they need to buy at that age.
They can learn to save to buy a new toy, or spend on sweets, or whatever.
My DD2 learned good skills at that age deciding whether to buy the softy toy from charity shop A, or the ornament from shop B.
It also gives you the ability to raise the pocket money as they get older without getting into stupid territory.

peacheachpearplum · 12/04/2018 18:12

I think it depends on lots of things, not least what the money is for. In one house you might have some treats as a shopping thing but in another house the child only gets treats (sweets/chocolates/comics/coloured pencils whatever) that they buy themselves. Of course it also depends on what you can afford. So if that is the norm in your house it is no one else's business.

Tobebythesea · 12/04/2018 18:14

£1 a week is fine but swearing at another Mum is not on.

TeenTimesTwo · 12/04/2018 18:15

btw My 13 yo doesn't get the equivalent of a fiver a week. We can afford it, but she doesn't need it yet. When she starts more independent socialising we may increase.

I don't think it does kids any favours to get them used to spending money like water when they might later be going into lower paying jobs or uni and be on stricter budgets.

XiCi · 12/04/2018 18:15

Theres nothing wrong with being a proud mum, just don't know what that has to do with the amount of pocket money you give. Certainly doesn't give you the right to act aggressively towards other mums. And yes, calling someone a nasty bitch is aggressive behaviour. I'd be really upset if someone spoke to me like that.

StringandGlitter · 12/04/2018 18:15

I’m afraid mine gets £5 a week. I think it’s too much but it’s what she got when she was in foster care so we decided to continue when she moved in with us.

That said, she has to buy all toys, sweets and magazines out of it. (Except for birthdays and Christmas) so she doesn’t get extras on top so she has to think about where to spend it.

Youcanttasteracism · 12/04/2018 18:16

I think we'd all call ourselves proud but it's kind of irrelevant. Just give your kid £1 a week and tell her to ignore the other kids.

Pengggwn · 12/04/2018 18:16

Although I don't condone you swearing at the woman, she was bang out of order, wasn't she? None of her business how much you give your child, and she should be teaching her DD the same.

BaronessBomburst · 12/04/2018 18:16

My 8 yr old gets 1 euro a week. That's technically less, and he's happy with it.

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