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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be annoyed that someone fed my 6mo chocolate?

40 replies

pamplemousse · 11/05/2007 21:55

Thats it really, it was chocolate mousse cake so had eggs in it too!
I have been weaning her very carefully (due to wheat and dairy intolerences in family and eczema) and this friend of my parents (who we were at dinner with) just popped a tiny bit (she said, I didn't see) into dd's mouth.
I was really annoyed

OP posts:

lulumama · 11/05/2007 21:56

you are not unreasonable, but a tiny bit will not hurt her...

Ceolas · 11/05/2007 21:57

I was very when my BiL gave my 6 month old DD a lick of ice cream off his finger in a restaurant.

But she lived

Frizbe · 11/05/2007 21:57

Well if dd didn't react I wouldn't go overboard, I'd just ensure that the poor person who thought they we're doing good, knew to check in future with said mother, before acting.

bananabump · 11/05/2007 21:58

Well, I know some people will say "get a life" but I think you do have reason to be annoyed, I would be if someone did that halfway through weaning, especially when you're being so careful.

But unfortunately people will just think you're a madwoman if you pull them up about it, so maybe it's best to let it pass unless they do it every time they see baby.

PigeonPie · 11/05/2007 21:58

I would have been spitting feathers too, so I don't think you're unreasonable

Hilllary · 11/05/2007 21:59

its people like that who put my dd's at risk of an anaphylactic shock. Not unreasonable.

FiveFingeredFiend · 11/05/2007 22:02

far too arsey IMO

stressteddy · 11/05/2007 22:03

A friend of mine gave my 3 month old son some wine on the end of his finger
I nearly died

maisym · 11/05/2007 22:04

would have told friends about allergies & not to do it again.

Elasticwoman · 11/05/2007 22:05

I'd be furious. Kept all mine away from refined sugar and chocolate till after 1 year old. They didn't miss it.

Original poster

pamplemousse · 11/05/2007 22:06

Thank you, I didn't say anything at the time as thought I would be told I was over reacting. But I do have a point!
She did get some angry red spots under her chin where her (recently healed) eczema had been, was probably coincidence though.

OP posts:

Carmenere · 11/05/2007 22:07

Most children don't have allergies, it won't have harmed her at all and in fact didn't, did it? So is it really, really worth getting upset about?

People do thoughtless things with out meaning any offence whatsoever, is that worth being angry about?

liquidclocks · 11/05/2007 22:07

I'd be annoyed to BUT some ladies at church gave my brother (at 3 months) gin and whisky and DH fed both DS1 and DS2 beer froth around 6 months on the premise that if they don't likeit they'll stop eyeing it up

I think unless there are major anaphylactic shock issues we all should just chill abit and remeber what our mothers fed us

twentypence · 11/05/2007 22:07

That's why I had a sling and always wore ds in it when food was around.

I would be more annoyed about the eggs and the wheat than the chocolate TBH,

AitchTwoOh · 11/05/2007 22:07

sort of thing i'd expect from a grandparent but a bit bloomin' previous from a friend of theirs...

the baby will survive, but it's out of order imo. what if you'd discovered a peanut allergy right there and then?

Original poster

pamplemousse · 11/05/2007 22:09

I didn't say anything at the time and won't as nothing happened. Just wanted to see what the general opinion was....

OP posts:

HenriettaHippo · 11/05/2007 22:09

I'd be annoyed too. Unfortunately, I think it's a generational thing - my grandparents think DSs are deprived because I don't have a tub of smarties in the kitchen for handing out. They think I'm nuts because I have told them that DS1 (3) is only allowed one biscuit when we visit them (they'd have the whole box open for him to help himself, and it's always shortbread covered in chocolate). I think it's because they became parents in 1945 and everything was rationed that it was impossible to have too much sweet stuff.

tilbatilba · 11/05/2007 22:10

I would have been really annoyed too...I would have been absolutley furious with the wine licking friend! Can't understand anyone giving food to someone elses baby without being invited to.

bananabump · 11/05/2007 22:13

Bloody hell! people giving gin, whisky and wine to 3 month old babies? They'd get a slap for that! Maniacs.

Elasticwoman · 11/05/2007 22:15

Remember what our mothers fed us? Mine gave me formula and (later) white bread, overcooked cabbage and v little fresh fruit. Was consequently permanently constipated as a child.

sweetjane · 11/05/2007 22:19

Does your friend have children of her own? Because to be honest in the past I wouldn't have understand what the big deal was.. but that's before I was a Mum and being on the brink of weaning my ds I totally understand how you feel.. my gran in law asked me with a straight face if she could give my ds chocolate buttons for Easter - he was 3 months old at the time!!!! But at least she asked...

cylonbabe · 11/05/2007 22:20

i would be too. but a tiny bit wont hurt her

ninja · 11/05/2007 23:27

My sister gave my dd some breamy pudding thing (poss with alcohol in it?) at 4 - 5 ish months, BEFORE I'd started weaning. Needless to say I wan't too happy. Diary, possibly alcohol and her first taste of food. Actually it was the last bit that got me the most as I was so proud of getting her to 6 months. Suspect MIL also gave her icecream a couple of weeks later when we were on holiday with her (she was desperate for me to wean plus dd 's nappies suddenly went v dodgy)

I think you have every rifgt to be annoyed - even if only because YOU should be the one to introduce the joys of chocolate to your dd (at a more suitable age).

When it comes down to it, why did she feel the need to do that?

SofiaAmes · 12/05/2007 06:04

You might just want to tell her on the side that it is very dangerous to feed foods to a young baby without checking with the mother first as they might be allergic to them and die. She probably didn't even know of or think of that aspect of it. Dh was forever sticking things in the kids mouth to taste despite my warning him that we really needed to be careful as there are lots of food allergies in my family. It was fine with ds, but one time he gave dd when she was 7 or 8 months a bite of egg. She came out in a terrible rash all over her body. She was also on antibiotics at the time (for and ear infection) so we didn't really know whether it was the egg or the antibiotics. She is now 4 and has had both since on many occasions without a problem. But at the time, the shock of the reaction was enough to convince dh to never take food risks again.

flightattendant · 12/05/2007 06:27

I don't think you're being unreasonable to feel miffed. Definitely keep an eye next time and perhaps mention to your parents how upset you were as you're trying to be really careful.
I guess this woman didn't know about that and was being silly, still it's a liberty to take with such a small child...I have a friend who will hardly let me touch her 6mth old baby, even though I wouldn't dream of giving him anything except a cuddle!
She ought to have had more respect for the mother's feelings, just a bit misguided and I'm glad it hasn't caused you DC any major problems. Hope the next baby she gives strange food to is as lucky!

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