I'm on a diet, DH has just opened his EASTER EGG and left it in front of me (and says I should be able to control myself)

[whomovedmychocolate]

First of all, what kind of freak still has an UNOPENED EASTER EGG IN MAY?????
DH has finally opened his after much nagging about leaving it on the stairs in its big box.
So he opens it, breaks the egg and leaves 90% of it lying there, all sodding afternoon in front of me. He offered me a bit three times, three times I said no. Then he wanders off and LEAVES IT THERE.
I'm looking at it right now.
I've lost seven pounds so far of the 30 odd I want to lose and he knows bloody well how hard I'm working to fit in exercise and good food etc. I haven't had any chocolate for ten sodding days as well!
I think he's a twunk. Anyone going to disagree with me?

I think he is inconsiderate. All the chocolate in our house goes into my special private cupboard so as not to be a temptation to anyone else.
(Married people should always have their own special private cupboards.)

My husband's pants are his special private cupboard. I'm never let in there these days either (but that's another AIBU)

Well, Ive never been on a diet, but I would have ate the lot of it by now. Yum Yum. We finished our easter egg stock last night!
He should hide it though. Out of sight out of mind.

Kill him

Well if he's been keeping the Easter egg in there up until today, I'm surprised you even want to eat it.

I know. It SMELLS nice too!

I'm very tempted to invite all the neighbourhood children to come in and steal one piece each if it's still there in the morning.

Where are you? I'll come over and put the egg out of its misery (and your DH too, for a small consideration).

Kathy - there is little heat coming from that general area - mores the pity!

I have a special cupboard too - it's called the salad crisper in the fridge. DH thinks a healthy diet consists of meat, potatos, crisps, bread and chocolate (washed down with lashings of red wine which is apparently a 'fruit' based drink which represents his five a day)!

Luckily I'm the one doing the cooking for our child!

Bit too far from Birmingham I'm afraid. Besides which his chocolate is now much less appealing thanks to Kathy's suggestion that he's had it in his pants.

I wash his pants.

I'm not going there....

Ugh to choc in pants notion. I'm loving your DH's balanced diet!

LOL @ your special cupboard.
My dh is away tonight and I've just had spaghetti carbonara with no vegetables because normally we have around 5 or 6.

Just as well there is no heat in your dh's pants if that's where he keeps his chocolate - you don't want it melting.

STEP AWAY FROM THE EGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Pick it up - put it in the bin - then no-one can eat it! You can tell him it serves him right for leaving it laying around.
Good on you for having the willpower to not eat it as well.

Sparkler - thank you - I'm not going to eat it. I'm visualising maggots crawling all over it and flies landing on it and it's doing a super job of putting me off it. (and probably most of you as well!)

What I don't understand is: DH eats no veg or fruit and yet every day he spends an HOUR in the loo. WTF is he doing in there? I removed the sudoku books the other day to see if that was it, but he still lurked in there for ages.

If he eats no fruit or veg I'm not surprised he spends hours in there - it can't be easy.

Funnily he does fart a lot though, so clearly there is something going on down there.....perhaps I should invite Gillian McKeith round to peer down the bog when he forgets to flush?

My sister calls sitting in the loo for hours "writing your will".

I read this thread and it made me want choc and now i have eaten a lindt bunny and a kit kat chunky
Tis all your fault

Erm, I think you may be married to my DP.

Pelvicfloornomore - were you entranced by:

(1) my suggestion of maggot infested chocolate
(2) the idea of my husband taking a long time to squeeze out a poo

or

(3) the idea that he kept it in his pants before eating it?

Come along, Mumsnet want to know????

Heck all 3

Sicko

Yep

I'm a shitofantic

Well then chocolate is the perfect colour for you