Should they share?

[chocc]

Ok so husband & wife both work full time, one of them chooses to work an additional part time job (a long term hobby they get paid good money for and very much enjoy doing)..

The bills are paid for equally, leaving the partner with only one job with considerably less each month.

Should the partner with second job and additional income share some of this pay? Not exactly half but should the other party see any of this money?

Yes of course.

Sorry forgot to add - own a house together, not married and no DC as yet.

Why can't the other partner get a 2nd job?

No reason whatshalli ... they could

In one way I want to say yes they should (as this is what DH and I would do in that situation).

However if the other person could get a 2nd job but chooses not to then I don't see why they should have to share.

I think this is a difficult one.

Was there a time before that person had the second job - ie. when both partners had just one job?

And how are finances generally? I mean are they struggling to get by each month or do they have quite a bit of disposable income?

If not married and no DC then no. Partner with 2 jobs is giving up their free time, whilst other is doing hobbies or whatever.

If you take out the extra work, do they earn similar amounts? Can you give us an example of the money involved and the extra hours?

So they’re not ‘husband and wife’ then?
I find the ‘this is mine and that is yours’ attitude in long tem, live in relationships bizarre to be honest

Me too @Amanduh ... I just don't get it- are people in a partnership or just housemates?!

you are married. Money should be shared equally.

In your first post you said they're husband and wife, but later on you said they aren't married. Two different scenarios! If they're not married then it's ok to maintain separate finances and they don't owe each other anything if they separate. If they're married then legally their assets are shared 50/50 so there's no point in continuing to maintain that separation.

I'm on the fence on this one a little. I think if both people are working equal amount of hours for example say 40 hours each a week those wages should be used for household bills ect. If the second person decides to make money out of a hobby I feel that is theirs but may be nice to treat the other person once in a while. If the person with the paid hobby decides to decrease their other job hours to further pursue the paid hobby then yes they should include those earning too. If money is tight in the household though then I think any extra income should be put into the pot.

What is the person without the second job doing whilst the other works? Makes a difference if that person is picking up the slack with housework/cooking/home admin etc. or if they are just sat on their arse watching TV or doing things entirely for themselves in that time.

The person with the second job reserves the right to use that money as they wish as long as all bills etc are paid. They can save it, share it, go on holiday with it, buy handbags/ a nice car/anything else they would like. In a perfect world they would be generous and not see the other person go without.

How about working it out by percentage? My OH pays all the big bills and often pointed out how he was hard done by, until I worked out the percentages and I paid a higher percentage of my wages on bills than he did.

No NOT married, sorry it's not my situation so got confused when posting.

4 year relationship, person with 2 jobs had these 2 jobs before they met the other. Extra income is around £800 more each month for working 10 hours a week. I think they are left with a fair amount of disposable income after bills yes. Say £1k between them. That is not including his money.

My ex husband and I lived together for a decade before marrying and having children. We always shared our money, when one was working and the other not, and when both were working and earning different amounts. We loved each other and wanted to share.

I'm always wary of relationships which aren't like that, really.

So I have to say I think if he does the extra hours it should be his money... may be the other person could do something to earn some more..

I mean! What are they going to do with this extra £800 per month.

Build a big nest egg just for themselves?
Go on exotic holidays without Dp?
Spend on expensive clothes and shoes?
Have an absolutely amazing car, far above the Dp's car?
I mean! What?

There's nothing stopping the single income partner from getting a second job if they want more money. They're not married, no kids, they're not financially responsible for each other.

I struggle to understand 'long-term' relationships where money isn't entirely communal (apart from a monthly stipend of mad money), so I'm not a great judge.

We only started sharing money completely when dcs came. Before that I earned more and I did keep it - we weren’t married either though but did own our house.
I had a more expensive (ie more repairs!) car and I went on more holidays, with best friend as well as with dp. I also paid off a loan from before the relationship, and then saved money (which got spent once we had a dc).
We were neither of us struggling for cash, it would have made a difference if we were. (Those were the days!)

...I worked longer hours to get the extra money and dp had more leisure time than me.

no they earn it so it is there's if you are jealous get another job as well.