Should they share?

[chocc]

Ok so husband & wife both work full time, one of them chooses to work an additional part time job (a long term hobby they get paid good money for and very much enjoy doing)..

The bills are paid for equally, leaving the partner with only one job with considerably less each month.

Should the partner with second job and additional income share some of this pay? Not exactly half but should the other party see any of this money?

So this is a friend of mine who I think is being a bit of a CF. Expecting her partner to share his extra income because yes £800 'pocket money' on top of an already full time wage seems a lot but he does treat her often and picks up any additional costs that month I.e car MOTs and such.

I feel if she wants extra cash then she should get herself a second job, no reason right now that she can't. I think her nose is out of joint as it's a hobby he has become very good at over his 15yrs of doing so, and it doesn't seem 'work' to her.

I'm always surprised at 'long term' couples who don't share finances. As soon as I moved in with dh (then dp) all finances became ours. Then I was the bigger earner but now am not and it is never a case of his or mine.

However in my friend group we are considered the oddity.

If the person with the second job does less housework etc then the money should be shared. But if they do their fair share of housework and the second job is on top of that, the money should be theirs (unless money for shared expenses is tight).

Find a second job herself - not married /dc imo finances should be separate.

Am I the only person who wants to know what you can do for 40 hours a month and earn an extra £800? Is that after tax and NI?

What catspaws and bestest said.

If one DP is picking up more of the domestic load in order to allow the other DP to earn more, then it should be shared more equally.

If it’s simply leisure time the DP is using 10 extra hours of, then no.

However, if that 10 extra hours = all weekend every weekend for instance, then I’d feel put out if I were the DP without the ‘hobby’. I’d be thinking about the future and not sure if I’d like the look of it...

So I’m on the fence!

Not if they ate married. If they are not married then they aren't fully committed to each other so separate finances are reasonable. But if they are married then yes, if one spouse got paid more than the other they would still share, what difference does it make if the income comes from two sources rather than just one?

Well what if one of a married couple wanted to save up for a trip to (wherever) with their friends, a fancy bike/guitar/car etc, and took on an extra job or overtime to pay for this - should this be couple money? If only one person did the extra work and the other person wasn’t inconvenienced by it?