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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If people don't piss you off... what is your secret

52 replies

AmalClooneyisinVogue · 11/04/2018 11:58

Are you easy going or just a wet lettuce?

Do you rise above the bitching and back biting or just join or stand up to them?

OP posts:
CookPassBabtridge · 11/04/2018 12:09

Can you give some examples?
I'm generally easy going, I just can't be arsed being bothered by people and can't be doing with confrontation. I genuinely just don't feel pissed off at people.

But I had one year where I did feel pissed off at everything, pregnancy combined with post birth hormones... like my mother grizzly bear went into overdrive Grinit was exhausting to be so angry all the time. I could feel that ire rising up my body all the time, pulse racing whenever anyone did anything dickish. Thankfully it went away.

Ozgirl75 · 11/04/2018 12:12

I don’t really get pissed off with people either to be honest. I rarely notice bitching (I have nice friends) and if someone seems annoying I just don’t spend any time with them.

Funnily enough, I’m a litigator, so I can certainly argue my point, but grown people who are bitchy or hard work I just don’t have any time for.

NailsNeedDoing · 11/04/2018 12:14

I'm easy going. People piss me off much less than they used to. They're doing the same things but my attitude has changed, and it's not my shit, it's theirs so what's the point in focusing attention on something minor that I have no control over anyway?

It's also worth remembering that you never know what's going on in people's lives and minds, even if they're relatively close to you, so kindness and giving people the benefit of the doubt helps.

BitchQueen90 · 11/04/2018 12:16

I'm just easy going. The behaviour or opinions of other people doesn't affect my life so I'm not bothered.

speakout · 11/04/2018 12:18

Examples OP?

I avoid people that piss me off.

Life is too short.

stateschool · 11/04/2018 12:19

I don’t sweat the small stuff, and try to remember that you never know what’s going on in someone’s life. Give them the benefit of the doubt. Someone being off or not nice to you is rarely about you at all. The AIBU’s on here make me realise how little bothers me about other people on a day to day basis. People get involved or upset about trivial things it seems.

JaneJeffer · 11/04/2018 12:19

I just think Fuck You and then get on with things.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 11/04/2018 12:20
  1. Not my circus not my monkeys.
  1. Snippy things said to me, are usually reflections of them not me.
  1. Low expectations of others / I don't care (see point 1)
  1. Awareness that they don't piss you off. You get pissed off because of your expectations of others' behaviour (which may or may not be valid).

Why are you getting pissed off?

implantsandaDyson · 11/04/2018 12:22

I don't need to be liked, so if someone pisses me off, I'm able just to think whatever and move on, in the same way if someone is wearing something I don't like or watches a tv show or likes a band I don't like it doesn't affect me. I don't really give it much thought. If someone is being rude or mean or talking about someone in a group I'm standing in, I've no compunction about saying "don't be a dick" or just saying "right I'm away, I'll leave you to it". I don't care if I'm the next person they talk about Grin. I don't need to win every discussion or have people tell me I'm right. If I'm happy with what I'm doing anybody else who isn't can concentrate on themselves.

FfionFlorist · 11/04/2018 12:23

I'm generally easy going and tend to be a glass half full kind of person so I mostly think well of people. I also have a strong streak of self confidence so I rarely take things to heart. I'm also a bit lazy and haven't got the patience to notice what others do or say.

Original poster
AmalClooneyisinVogue · 11/04/2018 12:39

Thanks for replies.

I've recently returned to working in an office after a long period of working from home. Was really looking forward to having colleagues again. I think I've just got unlucky but I've never come across such a bunch of whinging, back-stabbing, "that's not my job" people in my life.

Another example. DS plays a team sport at county level. The kids are (mostly) great but there's a vocal minority of parents who are unbearably competitive (amongst the team not just our opponents), complain continuosly about how the club is run ...

I just need to unclench and disengage!

OP posts:
Jamiefraserskilt · 11/04/2018 13:04

I have developed zero tolerance for stupid. Yes, they piss me off but I ignore and withdraw. Some working environments are just toxic. Too much drama. Develop your single eyebrow raise. It works wonders!

BestZebbie · 11/04/2018 13:13

I think the 'secret' is having privilege. If someone has real power to affect you with their actions they you can get a dominance challenge off them, and that makes them seem annoying. If they are irrelevant to your life then it all washes on by.

bluescreen · 11/04/2018 13:17

Sounds as if you could be heavily invested: new job and DS's sport are both things you care about. And they are both situations over which you may have less control than normal - can't easily reason with or get away from the GFs. It's harder to disengage from feeling pissed off in those circs when someone is behaving like an arse, but at least you recognise it so with luck you will be able to rise above it.

Catspaws · 11/04/2018 13:18

Maybe I'm naive but I don't encounter much of this! I work in a lovely office with pleasant and friendly colleagues and I'm lucky that my family and friends are all normal / not bitchy arseholes.

When I do encounter bitches I tend to take the view that nobody horrible can have a truly happy life!

user1487175389 · 11/04/2018 13:18

It's a very good question. I think a lot of it has to do with how you were brought up - I was raised in a very critical, blotchy environment where what other people thought and said about me was considered to be worth more than my own opinions and first hand experience. Therefore what people think of me and say about me is always on my mind. I'm trying to change but it's really hard.

Hoppinggreen · 11/04/2018 13:18

I have very very low expectations
I assume most people are idiots so their opinions don’t really matter to me

user1487175389 · 11/04/2018 13:19

bitchy not blotchy! Grin

halfwitpicker · 11/04/2018 13:21

Can't you just switch off and forget about it? It's all total bullshit, all offices have the same politics. Just smile and nod and move on.

MephistophelesApprentice · 11/04/2018 13:24

I try and act conscientiously and treat the people around me with courtesy and respect.

That way, when I encounter people who don't, I'm fortified in my unassailable tower of warm, snug superiority.

Bluelady · 11/04/2018 13:28

As I've got older I find I give fewer fucks about just about everything. Yes, people and things piss me off momentarily but they're soon forgotten.

letsdolunch321 · 11/04/2018 13:28

I try to engage with positive people only. Negative Nancies I don’t have a lot of time for. Same with bitching and bullies - I stand up to them.

Recently a woman at work thought she could bully me as the new person in the office - I did no more, reported her to my line manager who spoke to her then I carried on with my day. Hence she is nice as pie now.

Glad I work on my own

CookPassBabtridge · 11/04/2018 13:29

Yes OP, just disengage. Don't let other peoples bad attitude and negativity get you down.

NameChangeAgainAndAgain · 11/04/2018 13:31

I'm not easily pissed off at all. I tend to think when people do the type of thing that some people get pissed off with, it's generally a reflection of their own issue, and I tend to feel sorry for them.

Just wondering why you ask OP?

JellyMouldJnr · 11/04/2018 13:38

I think is my new motto:

I try and act conscientiously and treat the people around me with courtesy and respect.

That way, when I encounter people who don't, I'm fortified in my unassailable tower of warm, snug superiority