Dp his a child from me

[DoughyDonut]

Background info:
I have to dc age 6 and 8 from previous relationship (with man who was abusive mentally physically and I’m in therapy for this) I found the courage to leave him 4 years ago. I lived with just me and dc for 2 years before meeting now DP, we then moved into his house after 2 years together (giving up mine plus 90% of furniture) and using this money to do his neglected house up.
Dp has 2 grown up dc, him and his dad do not speak, he and his ds do have a relationship.
He is a lovely man who has helped me throughout the hard time I have had and always treated my dc as his own.

We moved in with him I found a stack of photos on the windowsill amongst these were 1 of a girl on his mother’s lap that didn’t look like his dd, and another school photo of a teenager also not his dd.
I questioned this he told me he didn’t know her name he then told me she was his brothers he then told me he had thought she was his but found out his brother had an affair and she was him that is the story he stuck with.
I knew he was lying I did my own investigating and turns out he has a whole daughter he didn’t tell me about, because it was too painful!!!!!
They’ve not had contact for many years she sees him as a sperm donor wants nothing to do with him.

Aibu to not know what the hell to do now!!!

Despite having two children he supposedly loved, my ex blared that the happiest day of his life was the birth of a third child with new partner. Luckily my DC didn't see that.

Also of note here: he was so upset at losing contact with his first two kids that he knocked someone else up and didn't be a father to that one either? Does that sound likely? Or more likely he didn't give much of a shit either time.

I thought I was giving me and my much loved dc a better life, financially

If your name is not on the deeds how will spending money on someone else's house benefit you financially.

He had this dd when his first 2 were 4/5 he was still in there lives til they were 7/8. He says the lack of contact with first 2 was not his fault. This one was his fault he has kicked himself since, he found her and tried contacting her 6 years ago and got told to get stuffed. The school photo of her was from dp mum who was sent it on the post
My head is such a mess from shock right now I don’t think I’m seeing straight enough to make a decision either way just yet

He says the lack of contact with first 2 was not his fault

Thats what he says, but why would you believe him?

Financially I’ve reduced my bills his mortgage is half what my rent was and jointly can afford for holidays etc which on my own paying extortionate rent I could not, I didn’t rush into this we were 2 years in!
No my name is not on the deeds but I genuinely believed he was someone I could spend the rest of my lives getting with

Don’t beat yourself up of course it all seemed good and I am assuming it was until you found out he is a liar

Now you could decide to stay and if you are paying towards the mortgage you should be on the feeds or put money aside. But also you have to accept that he can lie to such an extent and do you believe what he tells you

Or you make plans to move out money will be tight but you are not stuck in a relationship with someone that you will I believe always question

Deeds

Not feeds ...