Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 6 is old enough to flush the loo?

64 replies

CurlyRover · 10/04/2018 00:11

DSD is 6 and we're having issues with her not flushing the loo. On Saturday evening I asked if she'd flushed and when she said no I asked her politely to please go and do it. It led to (what I thought was) a massive overreaction where she had a meltdown and refused to do it, cried etc. Granted she was massively overtired at the time but still. DP spoke to her about it and she did it eventually albeit under protest and making a huge song and dance about the noise. We know she can do it and doesn't struggle with the flush (which we'd understand it if she did) as we've both seen her flush in the past.

Just now I went to the loo in the family bathroom and there was poo in the bowl so again she hasn't flushed Sad I know it's her as the only time DP or I use the family bathroom is at night when one of us is asleep and therefore not wanting to wake the other up by using our currently doorless ensuite.

I don't have any DC nor do I know anyone who has DC her age so I'll admit I don't always know what she should and shouldn't be able to do at this age. AIBU to think 6 is plenty old enough to flush on your own?

OP posts:
Herbalteahippie · 10/04/2018 00:12

YANBU

Muddlingalongalone · 10/04/2018 00:18

My 3 year old flushes the toilet. Not always 100% reliably but goes to do it if reminded.
That said I appear to work with adults who Can't managed it so who knows.
Yanbu though OP.

PeterPiperPickedSeaShells · 10/04/2018 00:21

My 5 yr old hates flushing the toilet, no idea why. So no help here I'm afraid but you're not alone

Frustratedboarder · 10/04/2018 00:23

Yep my 5 yr old won't flush, scared of it... Think it's the loud sudden noise when she's alone that freaks her out!

WithTwoGiantBoys · 10/04/2018 00:26

My bloody 9 year old is always leaving poos for me to find, winking up at me out of the bowl. Drives me bloody mad.

Johnnycomelately1 · 10/04/2018 00:26

Mine (7&5) will do it other than on airplanes when I have to wait until they have had time to get back to their seats before I'm allowed to do it.

I still seem to yell "flush!" about 6 times a day though.

NoSuchThingAsAlpha · 10/04/2018 00:35

DD hated the noise until she was about 5 1/2. Now she's over it and always flushes.

4GreenApples · 10/04/2018 00:39

Unless your toilet has a particularly tricky flush, 6 yrs old should be old enough to manage.

My 6 and 4 yr olds can both manage to flush a toilet on their own. They need reminding sometimes but are quick to go back and flush if they’ve forgotten.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 10/04/2018 00:45

You are certainly not BU. However....

We once had a friend to stay with his two DDs, who I found... Challenging. They never flushed; and I used to think 'those lazy fucking girls'. Then, separately, DD went through a phase of not flushing. And I found it almost charming... Her sweet little wee, with her bit of tissue. And flushing after her took a millisecond. Not really a big deal.

(I'm not so blinkered that I didn't make it clear she HAD to do it at other people's houses. And I also talked to her about hygiene and hand washing, etc).

But my point, curly is that as a parent, we're kind of genetically wired in to overlooking stuff. So your post surprised me, until I read it again and saw she's your step. Then it made sense to me.

I'm not excusing your DSD, and it's a skill/habit she needs to learn. But, don't be surprised if her dad doesn't see this as important, and I'd say it's not one of your bigger battles, and takes no time to resolve. Up to you how hard you push this.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 10/04/2018 00:53

Yes, she's definitely old enough, but I'd tread carefully as some children develop a bit of a fear of flushing/flushes. I really hated the rushing water and noise and would try to avoid doing it, but I really wasn't being naughty.

I wasn't great at speaking up and tended to worry about things on my own. Is it possible that a bit of this might be relevant here, OP?

crunchymint · 10/04/2018 00:58

Although she is old enough to flush, anyone who works with kids this age will say that flushing loos and reminding kids to flush toilets, comes with the territory. So yes remind her, but it is not uncommon.

Panda81 · 10/04/2018 01:24

If she's 6 I'm assuming she's been using the toilet a while... so has she always done this or is it a recent issue?

PrettyLittIeThing · 10/04/2018 06:28

It's not unusual at all. My 6 and 7 year old don't flush, one doesn't like the noise and one always claims to forget. My nephew also didn't flush around that age as I remember going to my sisters house and he wouldn't flush.

Believeitornot · 10/04/2018 06:30

Mine don’t like the noise, they get scared. It was a new thing. So I go with them to flush. My 8 year old is much better now.

Devilishpyjamas · 10/04/2018 06:38

My 13 year old still forgets all the bloody time. Yes I do call him back. Yes he forgets again. Drives me mad. Even my severely autistic son flushes the toilet so god knows why the13 year old forgets. Think he’s too busy thinking about football

It’s not a big deal is it really? She’s 6, that’s tiny. She’s rubbish at flushing the toilet, but probably good at some things other 6 year olds are useless at.

She may be scared of your toilet. Or maybe at her house she’s told not to flush the toilet at night in case it wakes someone. I remember as a kid never knowing whether to flush the toilet at night. I also remember being terrified when I needed the loo at night and just wanting to get back to bed as quickly as possible.

And of course she massively overreacts. She’s 6. That’s what kids do at 6 when thet’re Upset or embarrassed or even don’t want to be interrupted.

Just remind her to flush and maybe have a chat and see whether she finds it scary at night.

SnowOnTheSeine · 10/04/2018 06:44

Our flush is hard to reach for little ones so unfortunately they've gotten into the habit of not flushing. My 6 year old is now big enough so I'm reminding him every time.

Mostly he's happy to do it. But sometimes kicks off especially as the 3 year old doesn't have to (can't physically reach the flush!).

I'm generally into picking battles so I remind about flushing unless I can see he's shattered and will kick off.

pigpoglet · 10/04/2018 06:46

My non verbal 6 year old with sn has been able to fish the loo and wash his hands for a few years . He even tried to wiped his bum so no she isn't too young .

pigpoglet · 10/04/2018 06:47

If she doesn't like the noise then put the lid down first .

Squeegle · 10/04/2018 06:47

Flushing the loo seems a challenge. Like PP my 13 year old DS still doesn’t do it often. Charming. My DD does though. They get there in the end 😀

Fruitbat1980 · 10/04/2018 06:47

Just putting it out there that I was terrified of the flush. God knows what I actually thought would happen but I think it may have stemmed from when I found a bat in the loo and mum freaked out and said if it went in my hair they would have to cut it off. Even as a teenager I’d have to open the door and wash hands before flushing as I would run from the toilet the moment I flushed (and would do all
I could to avoid toilet full stop!) could any similar craziness be going on? (Fully prepared to believe I am crazy 😬

pinkhorse · 10/04/2018 06:49

My ds is 8. Whenever he has a friend over they never ever flush the toilet. It's not just one particular friend it's all of them! No idea why.

ThriftyMcThrifty · 10/04/2018 06:49

My six year old is a boy so along with forgetting to flush (always forgets) he also regularly wees on the seat (which he’s forgotten to lift) or floor. I sometimes just clean it up, other times I ask him to, but that involves us doing it together really. It sounds like you are upset by it but try and be understanding, she’s only a baby really and she’s a girl so I assume it’s not as messy as if she were a boy!

ThinkOfAWittyNameLater · 10/04/2018 07:00

Totally normal in my experience. We have to check every. Single. Time. It's exhausting but we know it's just a phase.

Take a deep breath and just ask 'did you remember to flush the toilet?' Every time. And if you find an until she's loo call her to come flush it & remind her she needs to do it before she leaves the room.

They grow out of it.

LifeBeginsAtGin · 10/04/2018 07:23

Reminds me of this

Arapaima · 10/04/2018 07:28

Agree with others - she is old enough but it's common not to and not really a big deal.

OP, if this is the worst issue that you're having with your DSD then you're getting off lightly!

Swipe left for the next trending thread