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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 6 is old enough to flush the loo?

64 replies

CurlyRover · 10/04/2018 00:11

DSD is 6 and we're having issues with her not flushing the loo. On Saturday evening I asked if she'd flushed and when she said no I asked her politely to please go and do it. It led to (what I thought was) a massive overreaction where she had a meltdown and refused to do it, cried etc. Granted she was massively overtired at the time but still. DP spoke to her about it and she did it eventually albeit under protest and making a huge song and dance about the noise. We know she can do it and doesn't struggle with the flush (which we'd understand it if she did) as we've both seen her flush in the past.

Just now I went to the loo in the family bathroom and there was poo in the bowl so again she hasn't flushed Sad I know it's her as the only time DP or I use the family bathroom is at night when one of us is asleep and therefore not wanting to wake the other up by using our currently doorless ensuite.

I don't have any DC nor do I know anyone who has DC her age so I'll admit I don't always know what she should and shouldn't be able to do at this age. AIBU to think 6 is plenty old enough to flush on your own?

OP posts:
stateschool · 10/04/2018 07:35

Yanbu, but mines the same. Scared of the noise so only flushed when someone else is nearby...

Devilishpyjamas · 10/04/2018 07:37

@LifeBeginsAtGin - I am crying with laughter. That is hilarious.

Have just remembered when Ds2 was in year 7 (he’s 16 now and does flush) he was on Skype with a load of school friends and someone’s Mum came into her son’s room and started having a real go at him for not flushing the toilet and leaving a poo in it. All the rest of the boys on the Skype call were howling with laughter and recording it. Poor kid - felt mortified for him.

TheCatFromOuterSpace · 10/04/2018 07:50

Mine is 5 and never flushes nor washes her hands unless she is reminded.

Original poster
CurlyRover · 10/04/2018 11:55

Arapaima this is definitely not the worst issue, just one in a line of many.

TheCat when you prompt them do they do it or make a huge song and dance about it?

For those whose DC either won't do it period or who need reminding, do you think you find it less annoying because it's your own DC? I don't know if I only find it as frustrating because she's not mine.

OP posts:
ocelot41 · 10/04/2018 11:57

My 8 year old kept forgetting so now we use BIG visual prompts - much better now!

Fairylea · 10/04/2018 12:02

You say she hates the noise and had a meltdown it was so bad... does she have any other sensory issues? (Crowds, noises, busy places etc). I ask because my ds aged 6 has autism and with this comes a lot of sensory issues and there is absolutely no way he will flush a toilet to the point that he will still use a potty at home for a poo as he won’t go into our toilet as he finds the ehco / noise of the water splashing horrible. He will manage at school (complex needs school) because he holds his poo in all day (!) but at home we let him because the main thing is he doesn’t get constipated by holding it in (which he has done in the past to the point of needing medical treatment).

He is also absolutely terrified of hand dryers and will meltdown if he even hears them if we walk past public toilets (so we always use disabled ones if we need to - so there is no hand dryer going off next to him).

I’m not saying your dsd has needs as severe at this but I am just sharing for interest to show how these sorts of things can manifest themselves.

Fairylea · 10/04/2018 12:03

*let him - use the potty I meant

Scabetty · 10/04/2018 12:13

Yeah, I don’t have a flush on my toilet Confused Constant yellow water and worse going on. Mine are teenagers. I even got called to harpoon the loch ness monster blocking the toilet Angry

SnowOnTheSeine · 10/04/2018 12:42

I don't mind about the not flushing. It's always flushed after a poo anyway. We only have one loo and there if someone is at home there's often 4 people, so even if the DC don't flush, someone else will be going soon.

unintentionalthreadkiller · 10/04/2018 12:45

My 6 year olds are apparently incapable. Drives me insane.

Lucked · 10/04/2018 12:48

Mine doesn’t but it is tricky for him which means I have to remind him everywhere we go because it is not automatic for him.

mummyof2boys30 · 10/04/2018 12:50

I seem to shout flush and wash your hands numerous times a day to my 8 yr old. His 5 yr old brother always does both

Scentofwater · 10/04/2018 13:00

As a child I went through a phase of being unspeakably terrified of the flush. It developed to the point where for at least a year I couldn’t have the door shut in the bathroom while I was in there at all, I had to have a family member chatting to me the entire time I was on the toilet or I would completely lose it in absolute fear.

I would flush and run as fast as I could, and not flush at all if I could get away with it. It took a long time to get over it.

I’m not saying your dd can’t flush, just trying to give a perspective on how irrationally scary the flush can be. Are you sure she isn’t scared of it?

Can you do anything to help her want to flush? I used to find the cistern blocks fascinating as flushing made the water change colour. Rewards for flushing? Give her a toilet teddy who will sit on the cistern and keep the monsters in the toilet so she doesn’t need to be afraid?

Tomorrowillbeachicken · 10/04/2018 13:01

Tbh if ds would stop peeing on the seat I’d be happy.

Lizzie48 · 10/04/2018 13:05

It's been an issue with my DDs at various times, but at one point it was actually useful as DD2 wasn't wiping her bottom and it alerted me to that fact. Now, it's just a case of gentle reminders.

It's always been one of my pet hates, people not flushing the toilet, though, gross.

Pereie · 10/04/2018 13:05

Yeah I was terrified of the flush when I was a kid too. Convinced that the brain thing from teenage mutant ninja turtles was going to come up the loo after me. Seriously.

I would still flush and run though I hated it

Maybe sit her down and try and talk to her. Explain that it's not scary etc. My money would be on this being the problem and forcing her to flush when she is in a state probably didn't help her.

Kids are weird. It's a fact.

Bluelonerose · 10/04/2018 13:06

I think I am the only person in my house who knows how to flush a toilet Hmm

What annoys me more is the wet seat every fucking time I sit on the loo as apparently ds1 ds2 and dp struggle to aim Angry sometimes I swear they twirl it round mid pee

Devilishpyjamas · 10/04/2018 15:00

For those whose DC either won't do it period or who need reminding, do you think you find it less annoying because it's your own DC? I don't know if I only find it as frustrating because she's not mine

No. I find it annoying. Just have much bigger issues to deal with sonit barely registers.

MissWilmottsGhost · 10/04/2018 15:08

My 6 year old not only flushes but then cleans the bowl with the toilet brush yes MN I have one if it's dirty. I have said she doesn't need to clean it but little miss independent thinks she is a grown up already and there's no stopping her Hmm

PrettyLittIeThing · 10/04/2018 15:13

No why would it be less annoying if it's your own dcs? It's disgusting no matter who has left it but with two boys there is always wee on the seat/floor so that feels way more annoying.

Lizzie48 · 10/04/2018 15:15

@MissWilmottsGhost my 6 year old DD2 has done that before, she's very particular in that way, and she's watched me doing it.

SoyDora · 10/04/2018 15:16

YANBU. My 4 and 2.5 year olds both flush the toilet after use.

user1494409994 · 10/04/2018 15:58

Sometimes mine do and sometimes they don't. They are 4 and 8. Can't work out any logic or pattern as to why they don't just do it all the time......

Mumto2two · 10/04/2018 16:01

Still trying to teach my teenager how to flush the loo... it's not that they can't, they just forget..Hmm

MissWilmottsGhost · 10/04/2018 16:16

Let's make the most of it @Lizzie48 no doubt they will turn into normal lazy teens Grin