French message AIBU - posting for traffic

[WellAlwaysHaveParis]

Are there any native French speakers about please? :)

I’m writing a message to someone in French, and was just wondering if someone might be happy to check whether my French is correct :)

Thanks!

L'affiche originale est un baiseur effronté

Ooh Ooh - I can do this! Here - this really helps if you're trying to get served in a French bar

A boire - ou j'enculerai votre chien!

Mon dieu.

Or, as Joey would say, Toot de la fruit.

J'ai demandé un deuxième avis mais tout ce que j'ai reçu était un pet dans ma direction générale

Bonnet de douche

I thought 'Can I have a second opinion' was the message she wanted translating.