Rising cost of living!

[CrawfordE]

Hi, first time poster here! AIBU stressing about the constantly rising cost of everything? While fuel and food costs keep going up, our salaries have hardly increased from last year. On paper we may seem well off, but with so much going out it's sometimes hard to keep up. School fees have gone up yet again (by more than inflation) so we've now had to consider sending DC to the local comprehensive which we would really like to avoid if at all possible. We're hoping to pay down some of the mortgage with DH's bonus which should help a little at least. I know that we're still in a relatively fortunate position, but I can't be the only one feeling the pinch a bit?

Seriously, why the fuck does everyone on Mumsnet act like it's a race to the bottom?

I could turn round and say those fortunate enough to live on £123 a fortnight should count their lucky stars the water they piss and shit in is cleaner than half the water the world has to fucking drink.

You had me until ski trip! Cost of living is going up massively and I had to choose between redundancy or a demotion with a pay cut so even less money for me from now on. Luckily I love my job but that doesn't pay the bills!

Poor little Tarquin and Persephone having to miss their skiing trip and slum it with the plebs and chavs 🙄

We are ok for now thankfully. Hands up our DCs are in private schools and weve got savings. We know we are very fortunate. It doesnt stop us noticing the increasing cost of living though. Utilities, council tax, food, clothes, travel and yes even school fees.

We worry about people around us though. In the past we've both worked in jobs taking us into people's homes and often becoming quite knowledgeable about their financial situation. People are struggling and its.getting worse. Where do you go when youre already buying all basic brands? What do you do when the rate has gone up on your gas meter and that tenner doesn't top it up quite as long as before? Bus fares gone up again.. well youve got to get to work but what do you drop from weekly shop to pay it ( or do you walk? )

Its not good... we dont exactly like it but for others its appalling. The OP is right the cost of living is shooting up we are all being pinched in some way but some a whole lot harder than others.

PS what on earth has happened to the price of butter?

It is hard on your children op but....
On countless threads those in abject poverty are told to move house, find work in cheaper areas, move your childrens schools and those fleeing domestic violence are told to move house and schools (like its so cheap and easy to do so.)

Moving schools is upsetting for any child but will be far less of an upheaval for children who still get go home to their naice house than for those children who have been rehoused outside of london (in the ongoing social cleansing) or who are living at a b and b or a refuge.

Oh and its not a race to the bottom or shouldn't be, but this applies to those at the bottom also and not to those in the middle or nearer to the top. The op should at least recognise her privilege and not say she is struggling. Just like the op a few days ago who said she was skint on 80k. Recognise your privilege.

FFS, the OP's version of feeling the pinch is no less valid than anybody else's, just because the actual figures are higher.

Yes, people in this country are on tighter budgets, but they live like kings in comparison with millions of people in this world.

Is this for real? The horror for feeling poor because school fees have gone up. Imagine those of us who have children that are at the local state schools.

OP acknowledged she was luckier than most, is that not strong enough a declaration of privilege?

Everyone is entitled to feel the pinch regardless of their standard of living. There will always be someone in this world/country worse off, that doesn't automatically invalidate anyone else's version of struggling.

It's easy to get accustomed to a certain standard of living and when that slips away from you it's hard to adjust.

My weekly shop is usually about 100-120 (top end includes toiletries etc for family of 5) but this week's food (not including toiletries was 130. With food going up and council tax rising it did make me concerned about families who are really counting the pennies. I'm NHS and really hoping the unions don't mess up / delay my pay rise the government has offered!

Having said that, independent schools is a luxury few can afford therefore you'll get little sympathy for your "champagne problems".

Seriously, why the fuck does everyone on Mumsnet act like it's a race to the bottom?

Is comprehensive school the bottom?

Haha poverty is very different for some isn’t it. Try living on a state pension after more than 50 years of work for both of us.

I think it's important to remember that not everyone who pays for private school fees is a rich person who chooses to do this. A family I know in London are paying for a private primary school that is probably no more than "reasonably good" because the only state school offered to them had a grim reputation and was absolutely miles away. They decided to pay private until a different state school place comes up or it becomes feasible for them to relocate, but they really can't afford it easily.

Thanks for those who are understanding, we aren't on 7 figure salaries like some people seem to be making out! I know what it is like being on a lower income, as mentioned I didn't have a privileged upbringing and I went to a state school. It can just be a bit demoralising when you're working harder than ever before to give DC a good upbringing, but then rising costs just seem to knock you back again.

@CrawfordE which is completely understandable to those of us without one-up syndrome.

I would love to send DD to a private school, but the state schools here are great so she'll be going to one of them. I'm heading to college/Uni to hopefully achieve in 5 years a degree which would mean a much higher salary - I would be gutted if all of that work ended up being for what felt like very little with costs rising faster than my salary could keep up.

Ffs, lots of people who were on low incomes years ago haven't had a pay rise for years, so inflation has hit them really hard. A lot of these people are doing essential work that involves caring for and supporting those even more needy than themselves.

Just for practice, you could try living on the £350 pw that is the most that a family on benefits gets, and they have to pay their rent out of that too (£229 pw for a 3-bed housing association place in East Sussex). After a few weeks, you'll really be able to appreciate being able to afford to have the heating on, and a car to jump into when you need to go somewhere.

And then you can give DH's bonus to the local food bank.

Doesn’t matter if you earn 1million or 10thousand. Everyone can see costs rising around them and see that they are having less left in the bank than normal after buying what they normally would.

We are not in the situation to have to decide food or heat but it doesn’t mean I don’t see and feel the council tax rise, my monthly food shop or petrol going up.

It can just be hard when DC can't do the same things that their friends can do.

You send your DC to private school. Im sure they can afford to eat though.

Yanbu in noticing the pinch, but you should realise that to those genuinely struggling to pay for everything and really left with nowhere to cut corners what you have written will be a slap in the face.

My husband is considered a "high earner" but actually we do struggle financially. We couldn't for example easily replace a kitchen appliance if it broke down. However that said, if we really needed to we have many ways we could cut down some outgoings, sky tv or the kids clubs for example.

We mostly notice the pinch in food shopping and council tax. I used to feed our family of 5 on 300 a month and eat well, now 500 a month isn't stretching far enough and we buy basic brands.

On a lot of threads on here about private school, you do see parents warning others to consider the fee increases, which seem like they are 5-10% a year. Obviously there have been other cost of living increases which all have an impact, but school fees increases seem to be standard and relatively predictable. Parents are also warned to think about the cost of extras, trips and keeping up with other families.

So while I do have some sympathy with the OP I do wonder if she had actually fully researched the real costs of sending her children to private school. Just being able to afford the basic fees in the first year doesn't seem like enough.

So, OP, you've got a choice- make sacrifices and explain to your children they can't have everything but you're prioritising school fees so they have the very best education- or put them in the comp and easily afford ski trips (yes, many comprehensive schools do run these!) and everything else you want in life. Or find a way to increase your family income in line with fees.

I don't imagine things are that much different from 45 years ago, when my parents had 3 children at fee-paying schools and interest rates were around 17% (mortgage etc.). Mind you, there were no mobile 'phones, there was no internet and only 3 channels on TV so those overheads didn't exist.
Somehow, though, we still managed to pursue interests, spend 3 weeks in Europe every summer and were well fed, without all the snacking etc. that happens today.
Horses for courses. We did not ever have the "latest" in terms of TVs, Stereos etc. and our house was definitely not the styled place that you often see today.
As with everything you need to set your priorities and cut out non-essentials.

I don't imagine things are that much different from 45 years ago, when my parents had 3 children at fee-paying schools and interest rates were around 17% (mortgage etc.). Mind you, there were no mobile 'phones, there was no internet and only 3 channels on TV so those overheads didn't exist.

I don't know if this is the message of your post, but it's not just a question of cutting out the latest TVs, phones and so on. The cost of housing, healthcare and education have all risen substantially in real terms--it's not just in people's minds.

The OP is not badly off, but many of the increases that she mentions will also be hitting people who are less well off too--and they will be hit a lot harder.

Ffs 5th post like this I've seen in last week!

For your perusal op

digitalsynopsis.com/inspiration/privileged-kids-on-a-plate-pencilsword-toby-morris/

www.ted.com/talks/paul_piff_does_money_make_you_mean

@LakieLady and do you not think those people on 350pw need reminded and brought down a couple levels too if we're playing it like that?

The water they piss and shit in is cleaner than the water half the world has to drink. They live in a country with free healthcare and a benefits system in the first place.

Fucking privileged huh?? 🙄

Am going to ignore the bonuses, ski trips and school fees and try and be helpful.
OP, you really need to do an Income and Expenditure. Keep a spending diary and see where your money is going. Can you cut back on shopping, take away coffees?
Meal plan? Look for cheaper gas and Electricity? Could you reduce TV packages?
Plenty of advice on the Money Saving Expert site.

I went to private school on a partial scholarship. My parents had a low income and as a result made enormous sacrifices for my education. You have to think about just how important it is for you to send them to that school. If that means no holidays for a while, cut back the extra curricular activities, sell a car, no ski trips, well so be it. Few can have it all, even if their friends are doing things they can't. You teach them nothing by giving them everything. Ask your children to choose, family holiday or ski trip with their friends.

Everyone's idea of "feeling the pinch" is different but if you're paying thousands in school fees I'm guessing there are a lot of other luxuries you could cut back on.