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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Rising cost of living!

106 replies

CrawfordE · 08/04/2018 18:53

Hi, first time poster here! AIBU stressing about the constantly rising cost of everything? While fuel and food costs keep going up, our salaries have hardly increased from last year. On paper we may seem well off, but with so much going out it's sometimes hard to keep up. School fees have gone up yet again (by more than inflation) so we've now had to consider sending DC to the local comprehensive which we would really like to avoid if at all possible. We're hoping to pay down some of the mortgage with DH's bonus which should help a little at least. I know that we're still in a relatively fortunate position, but I can't be the only one feeling the pinch a bit?

OP posts:
ToriRay · 08/04/2018 20:25

@bluemoonchances how do you know I've never accessed a foodbank?
I haven't, but I work with many families where it is a lifeline. Hence me reacting to a post that uses 'feeling the pinch' 'DH bonus' and 'school fees' in the same sentence.

bluemoonchances · 08/04/2018 20:35

Toriray I also work in a frontline service with people who use food banks or are often homeless. I also used to work with victims of sexual assaults who I'm sure you understand come from all walks off life. People are people and all have different wealth, experiences, lives. I just don't like how you appeared to be so judgmental just because OP isn't on the breadline. To her her situation is upsetting.
I work with lots of people whose circumstances are very upsetting, but I would never say to them "cheer up because your situation isn't as bad as the situation of the person I saw yesterday".
Just accept people for themselves and realise that what may seem to be a small issue to you is a big issue to them.

Kirta · 08/04/2018 20:44

situation is upsetting

Having to face the dire consequence of a comprehensive?!
Have a word bluemoonchances.

bluemoonchances · 08/04/2018 20:51

Kirta I think you need to read the posts again because I must have missed whet OP referred to having to go to a comp as upsetting? She pays for her kids to go to private school. She'd like to keep doing that . So what? Why is that so bad?

And before you start judging me, yes I did go to a local comp, I grew up on a council estate with a single parent mum who worked bloody hard, and I would never send a child of mine to a private school because my political views don't agree with it. But I certainly won't think less of people who do chose to because that's up to them. Everyone has different opinions and lives, it doesn't mean we can show some empathy and kindness to people who may not be considered to be in our own social/ economic circle.

bluemoonchances · 08/04/2018 20:52

*can't show empathy

Irritated fast typing Grin

Kirta · 08/04/2018 20:56

bluemoon you wrote in your post to tori that OPs situation is upsetting to her? Is it the comprehensive? DHs bonus that's upsetting? I don't understand? I understand that everything is relative. But i don't think there is anything upsetting about OPs post. And I certainly don't think it equates to your 'cheer up' example.

Str4ngedaysindeed · 08/04/2018 21:01

Can you honestly not see why so many people are unimpressed with the post? To write a post like that the op must be deluded or just blind to reality. Its really quite offensive. We are verging on poor but are lucky enough to have been once able to buy a house in a very affluent area. We earn just over the average wage between us ( not each) and struggle but I wouldn't dream of moaning when I have such a brilliant asset. OPr eally should have read some more threads before posting

Dancingmonkey87 · 08/04/2018 21:13

Oh I thought it was from that saying lol learn something new.

Schmoozer · 08/04/2018 21:23

Salaries hardly gone up....may have to use DHs bonus ....... sometimes it’s hard........

Wow. Try my salary has gone down in real times for years now (nhs)
No bonus ever, it’s always hard, and we are already using local state schools .....

Yes rising living costs are a bitch, so is working in public sector, which is getting harder and harder all the time 😢

Original poster
CrawfordE · 08/04/2018 21:27

Wow, I really didn't expect this many replies! I'm sorry if this offended anyone, I truly didn't mean to. Thanks to those in support, as mentioned I do realise that we aren't struggling to the same extent as many others. However moving schools would be quite distressing for DC and so it isn't a decision we can take lightly. It's just costs that add up like the school ski trip, the children really look forward to it every year and I'd really hate to disappoint them when they worked so hard all year for it. I just want what's best for my children as I'm sure any parent here can relate to.

OP posts:
Str4ngedaysindeed · 08/04/2018 21:30

OK, so now we really know you're on a wind up. The school ski trip was a step a little too far 😂

Ivebeenaroundtheblock · 08/04/2018 21:39

why would this be a wind up? millions of people live ordinary lives and never experience poverty and doing without? and they too feel the pinch of inflation.

charityhallet · 08/04/2018 21:39

Oh FFS my heart bleeds. If you're real, then you have no idea how others are struggling. You might say the words but you really don't have a clue.

Samantha77hat · 08/04/2018 21:40

We bailed out the financial sector and while that sector has recovered we have paid for that bail out.

Wrong and utterly misleading. The financial services industry is a fraction of what it was in terms of employees, pay and bonuses. And rightly so but don’t make out that bankers are popping champagne corks every night in London cos that is not happening, loads of redundancy and under in the sector, ongoing.

Regarding the OP, great sympathy, you’re busting a gut trying to give your kids a better future, you have a nice lifestyle and are seeing the prospect of maintaining that difficult. Of course it’s not as Terrible as not having heating but everything is relative to your experience.

You’re in the wrong place for sympathy though from the popcorn eating judgemental bullies of Mumsnet. You should just be grateful that you don’t have to scrape potato peelings off your kitchen floor and feed your family them for the last 3 weeks of every month before payday.

charityhallet · 08/04/2018 21:42

I'm not a judgemental bully (at all) but outraged as I can't believe that someone who has a heart has the audacity to write what the OP did above!

Makingdinner · 08/04/2018 21:47

Oh no not the ski trip. Imagine having so sacrifice the annual school ski trip. My heart bleeds for you op.

wonderstuff · 08/04/2018 21:48

Chokes on popcorn..

Kirta · 08/04/2018 21:49

If you are genuinely concerned about your Children not being able to access the extra curricular stuff because you are so stretched, then maybe the local comp would give you better value for money. State schools still run ski trips etc. Maybe use some money saved for top up tutoring if you think it's necessary. Kids are resilient and adapt to change with the right support. If you posted for genuine ideas, then I would urge you not to completely write off the idea of the comprehensive.

Original poster
CrawfordE · 08/04/2018 21:50

I'm not sure why I'm being accused of winding people up, I already acknowledged that we aren't struggling to the same extent as others are. It can just be hard when DC can't do the same things that their friends can do. I didn't come from money and both me and my husband worked very hard to be in the position we are today. We've made large sacrifices to be able to give our children the best opportunities possible, as I'm sure any parent would.

OP posts:
HariboIsMyCrack · 08/04/2018 21:51

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Str4ngedaysindeed · 08/04/2018 21:51

And some people are 'busting a gut' to give their children a nice life too. But that nice life may just be as simple as food on the table. And they won't have anywhere near the choices the op has.

PistFump · 08/04/2018 21:53

I kind of get op's point but my heart says this is a wind up!

Rising cost of living!
wonderstuff · 08/04/2018 21:55

samantha the financial sector shrinking doesn’t alter the fact that the government ran up an enormous debt to stabilise the sector after the crash and the coalition and subsequent Tory government have chosen to attempt to pay back that debt by shrinking state sector spending, including the public sector pay cap. The financial sector may have shrunk but it hasn’t really repaid the government investment and there are plenty in the city still making a vast amount.

flirtygirl · 08/04/2018 21:57

Crawford you are not struggling at all...
I already acknowledged that we aren't struggling to the same extent as others are.

Schmoozer · 08/04/2018 22:00

I hear you str4nge - but methinks you are wasting your breath ..... OP needs to count blessings, many people work hard, and still just about get by, however, OP has worked VERY hard.....
Teachers, nurses, carers, police officers, firemen, armed forces all work VERY hard, yet not many will be in a great financial position.
This thread is annoying me now, so I’m going to step away ....cheerio.