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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want to get far away from London?

186 replies

bluecherry1 · 08/04/2018 14:57

I have a very nice house with a great dh and 2 lovely dc, good jobs and no real worries BUT I live 2 streets away from one of the recent stabbings and it has put me so on edge, crimes rates here seem to be soaring, I hate not letting my children go out to play and don’t even feel totally safe myself walking the 10 minutes home from the station. I know there are nice places in England to live but me and dh are thinking of homeschooling the kids and travelling, we have family in Spain, South Africa and the USA, I want them to experience a carefree life for as long as they can. Ahhhh I’m so confused?

OP posts:
puppower · 08/04/2018 16:31

Lonelynessie & pancakebum

where would you move too out of interest? DH is pretty keen for a number of reasons but spurred on as a number of friends have done it.

I think I would only consider going to another city though as need a buzz & commuting is shite!

HadronCollider · 08/04/2018 16:34

Agree pancake it's depressing.

PancakeBum · 08/04/2018 16:34

I'd like Bristol pup but unfortunately DH can't get work there so it'll likely be somewhere commutable to London. We like Hitchin, Cambridge and surrounds, parts of Bedfordshire.

HadronCollider · 08/04/2018 16:35

Although Its becoming a nationwide trend so whereever you go to it'll get there too eventually.

NotAgainYoda · 08/04/2018 16:36

Are you a journalist OP?

This has 'research' written all over it

Viviennemary · 08/04/2018 16:38

If you want to move then move. But those recent stabbings in London are mostly drug and or gang related. And unless your DC's are in danger of getting involved in that then I don't see any more risk in London than anywhere else. But I don't think I'd choose to raise a family in London if I had the choice not to.

kittensinmydinner1 · 08/04/2018 16:47

I’d take an increased crime rate for living a life that’s culturally fulfilling and interesting every single day over a sleepy village with some fields - my idea of hell!!!

Wow !! Some pretty wild assumptions there. Just interested to know what can be so 'culturally fulfilling' that a parent would choose a high crime area ?

There is also a huge ignorance on life in a 'sleepy village'. ! I have no roads or houses in view from my back garden. Just a few hundred acres of 'rolling fields' and have never locked my back door (because we lost the key ten years ago and never got round to changing the lock) however - we are 50 minutes from centre of London should I need to go there. The kids had brownies, Cubs, guides, badminton club from age 6-18. Primary and secondary Schools of which all are good or outstanding.
I go to yoga , WI and pottery within walking distance.
DH plays cricket and hockey for local teams.
Loads of family friendly pubs with gardens for the kids.
A ten minute bus ride or 2 miles in the car gets us to a Theatre , multiplex and excellent restaurants. Along with the usual soft play, sports centres, swimming pools.

Quality of life is brilliant.
There is much more to life than London and I have personally never met anyone who has moved from London and regretted it.

Dapplegrey · 08/04/2018 16:48

Tooman his reply of 'not a single shout in three years' only added to the pros
Sorry I don't understand what not a single shout in three years means.

speakout · 08/04/2018 16:49

Although Its becoming a nationwide trend so whereever you go to it'll get there too eventually

I disagree.

In my location there has been a steady decrease in crime rates year on year for the past 50 years.
In city areas crime is increasing.
London highlights disparity- the gap between rich and poor, a scrabble for housing, jobs, schools, parking, clean air. It's a cage of rats and a scramble to the top.

It's no wonder that crime is increasing.

It is not a general tendency for the human species to be becoming more violent.

But when people are crammed into a small space with limited resources then it happens.

shebagthehag · 08/04/2018 16:49

Born and bred Londoner but moved out 10 years ago.

My dsis has a friend who's brother was stabbed in gang related stuff several years ago which was all over crimewatch, I was working in London when the bombs went off and a friend who was close to the duggan family. Can you tell where I'm from lol

I'm not in a little village, I'm in a town where I can get a gp appointment the same day, my dc in a decent school and crime is low comparable to London.

I love that I grew up in London but not for my kids and that saddens me

HadronCollider · 08/04/2018 16:50

Anyway back to the OPs point.

I homeschooled for 6 years. In london HS was far easier, loads and loads of activities, social groups, homeschool outings, there were HS classes available for French, Latin, Spanish, Russian, Italian, Gaelic. There were classical education groups, Unschooling groups, Real World education groups, geography, science, English groups. My children went to sailing groups, wall climbing groups, canoeing, horse riding, archery, computer programming groups, guitar, flute and piano lessons They went to science lectures, art tours etc etc etc mostly all arranged by different home scholling groups. London is great for homeschooling activities. Not that other areas aren't (we didnt get to do some very cool things like falconry that some children were able to do). It also makes it very easy to keep the social side up.

I did know of peopke who tool the opportunity to travel with their children (why not? the worlds your oyster and HS while travelling is a rich experience) but in terms of settling elsewhere its not always as easy. One person I knew who HS in the US had to travel many miles to get to a HS group.

Overthinker1 · 08/04/2018 16:51

London is a huge place yet people talk about it like every area is the same. It’s half the size of Kent and I can safely say no area in Kent is the same! It’s understandable you feel on edge with such a violent crime happening so close to your home. I wouldn’t make any rash decisions until everything has settled from it. If I had the money and opportunity to travel I would take it but it got to be financially viable and also beneficial for your family

HadronCollider · 08/04/2018 16:53

Speakout I didnt mean the crime per se I meant the increasing disparity between rich and poor.

honeyroar · 08/04/2018 16:54

There's no right or wrong, it wouldn't be good if we all wanted to live in exactly the same place. You should live where you feel safe and comfortable, if you have a choice. It's possible to change how you feel about living somewhere.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 08/04/2018 16:54

Rent your house out, travel, regroup and decide what to do, then come back and do it!

puppower · 08/04/2018 16:56

PancakeBum Yep Bristol is lovely, some friends have just gone there.

I love London but so many things that made it great are changing.

Much less mixing across race & class. Independents getting priced out & more homogeneity plus I’m noticing more & more commercial premises on high streets being turned into flats.

Yes most knife crime is gang related but there is an increase in violence & more moped muggings. We have a large section of society disenfranchised & a growing wealth divide so I can’t see how crime will decrease. Lack of money for essential services to tackle crime.

Add in the overcrowding & air pollution plus crazy prices I’m having my doubts!

Fuckoffunicorn · 08/04/2018 16:58

All these country dwellers claiming they never lock the doors - my family live in the countryside and they’re forever being told by the police to lock their doors as burglary in rural locations is massively on the increase so beware!

I think there are different types of crime in different areas. London has a lot of gang crime which makes headline news but unless you’re extremely unfortunate it’s not going to affect the average Londoner. I have lived here my whole life (bar uni) and never been burgled, mugged or attacked. And, honestly, I don’t think I know of anyone that has even though I’m racking my brains. However, I have friends that live in towns around the country that fear for their children to go out in the evening due to mindless ‘townie’ violence. That kind of thing is rarer here but I know far more common in towns. So although crime may statistically be higher here the chance of being involved may be more remote than other places

speakout · 08/04/2018 17:02

kittensinmydinner1 Totally agree!!

I live in a boring backwater.

I live in a sleepy village.
I am 20 minutes from a city that hosts the world's biggest arts festival.
I am 10 minutes from yoga, swimming, soft play, woman's choir, arts, motocross, dry ski slope, miles of wild beaches, forests
My local city is an 18 minute train journey- Korean and Japanese restaurants, international airport, massive employment opportunities in finance, medical,software, biotech, arts, media.( lower unemployment than London)

And a huge plus- I live in a 5 bedroomed semi detached house nestled in secluded woodland, huge downstairs open space.
And it cost me £215K two years ago.

Girlfrommars77 · 08/04/2018 17:09

muddy I’m guessing you don’t know London very well. Haringey is a great and very varied borough, including Muswell Hill and Crouch End which sound up your street... lots going on there and not far from the centre at all.

OP maybe make a written list of pros and cons to help decide? But you sound as if you’re making bigger choices than moving out of London ie travelling the world instead

Personally I feel London has a lot going for it. It has the problems of other major cities but the range culture and diversity too so I think you’re considering decisions about those things

MuddyForestWalks · 08/04/2018 17:12

Anyway. If I owned a property in London, and generally enjoyed the lifestyle but wanted to make some changes I wouldn't sell. A poster on another thread has rented a big country house and hated it. She has the choice to go back. A relative of mine moved from London to a super sleepy village 2 hours away. Hated it from almost the moment she got there but was priced out of London almost by the time the ink dried on the contract. OP I would rent out my London place for a year or so. Travel, homeschool, see how you feel in 12 months.

cardibach · 08/04/2018 17:12

I live rurally and have never lived in a really big city. I don’t think it’s for me, but we aren’t all the same. Could somebody from a city tell me why they think living rurally would be boring for teenagers though, please? What are city teenagers doing that rural ones can’t?

NameChanger22 · 08/04/2018 17:13

A friend of mine from London visited us about 7 years ago and was amazed by all the children playing out in our area. We live in a city, but it's a fairly safe city. I wouldn't want to live in London, I like to visit now and then, it's great for museums and galleries, but I couldn't live there with a child.

toffee1000 · 08/04/2018 17:13

Living in a village which is only 20 minutes away from a city is rather different to living in the absolute arse end of nowhere where you need 20 minutes at least to get to the nearest decent shop, even further to any kind of city. I wouldn’t mind living in a village like that.

MarshaBradyo · 08/04/2018 17:13

From what I can tell about half are glad they moved to the country and half not on here

But if you sell and you hate it then it’s kind of tough

Some can move back but it’s easy to get priced out

toffee1000 · 08/04/2018 17:15

City teens have regular transport, rather than one bus every couple of hours or even less frequently. I’ve seen threads on here about teens who need to be driven everywhere or who live far from their mates. My dad’s friend lives in the middle of nowhere and his teen son was so bored he went to boarding school for sixth form, luckily his father could pay for it!