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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel disappointed in the response from family?

42 replies

Undercoverbanana · 08/04/2018 14:21

This weekend I have achieved something quite special and note worthy. My friends have been so happy for me and full of joy and congratulations. My family know how important it was, but meh. Half-hearted meh. No enthusiasm meh.

I feel a bit numb at their lack of happiness for me.

I know the world is not all about me, but I feel somewhat deflated.

OP posts:
Isadora2007 · 08/04/2018 14:24

Yanbu. It’s sucky.
But sometimes it’s riskier to voice that and be rejected or told you're overreacting etc.
But if it would make you feel better you could say “I’m a little disappointed that you guys haven’t really seemed like your happy for me” and see what the response is. Maybe they have a different way of expressing stuff- do they buy stuff for you instead or speak to other people to show off about you etc?

Janicejanet · 08/04/2018 14:24

Is it hobby related? Something that your family don't understand the significance of in terms of your hobby?

BakedBeans47 · 08/04/2018 14:25

Congratulations :)

My mum can be a bit like this. I’m used to it now.

troodiedoo · 08/04/2018 14:26

Yanbu. Some families are like this, you have to stay in your pre defined box.

Dozer · 08/04/2018 14:26

What is it?

MonsteraDeliciosa · 08/04/2018 14:36

YANBU My DM never once congratulated me on announcing my pregnancies. Not once. I have 5 DC!

Then she (after a glass of wine) moans that's she's so envious of how close my family (i.e. me, DH and DC) are and how she wishes it was like that/had been like that for her and me/DB Hmm.

Congratulations, OP, on your achievement. Don't let this sour it. Celebrate with the friends who know what it means to you.

Original poster
Undercoverbanana · 08/04/2018 15:16

DM is just disinterested (not out of character to be fair - although I dutifully ohh and ahh over her garden and her friend Maureen’s new curtains). DF claims never to have known about it (not true - we have discussed at length and we even said he would come along). DD didn’t realise it was this weekend and is on holiday with her Dad (she did reply to my text with congrats, but she’s obviously having a fab time and I suppose I’m being a bit precious). DP is not as supportive/enthusiastic as I hoped/needed/would be for him.

Maybe I am a bit self-centred and need to get a grip.

OP posts:
Movablefeast · 08/04/2018 15:19

I'm going to guess you have been everyone else's cheerleader for years and are sadly disappointed to find it is not reciprocated.

greenlynx · 08/04/2018 15:24

Could it be that they don't see it as important like you won a best garden award in your small village or could it be something too complicated/ work related for them or something that they expected you to achieve long time ago like learn to drive?

Original poster
Undercoverbanana · 08/04/2018 15:39

Movablefeast - It does feel that way. I love other people’s successes.

greenlynx - it’s sport related so very relatable.

OP posts:
Monr0e · 08/04/2018 15:44

It was the Manchester marathon today. Was it something like that? If so (and even if not) a massive congratulations

MayFayner · 08/04/2018 15:45

Is it having your third dc? Grin

Ryder63 · 08/04/2018 15:57

When we do something noteworthy, surely we do it for ourselves and our own self esteem, or for a cause? Not just for for pats on the back?

Pinkmexicanskull · 08/04/2018 16:00

I got a new job a month or so ago, it’s a huge step up and I’m really excited. I called my DNanna and she said “Oh. Well, if it’s what you’re in to then....”, like I’d just announced I was becoming a nun or something. Then immediately started talking about my DB new house. I was so upset! I feel your pain OP.

Juells · 08/04/2018 16:09

I'd make Congratulation banners and drape them all over the house. Leave them up for a month. Grin

Juells · 08/04/2018 16:10

When we do something noteworthy, surely we do it for ourselves and our own self esteem, or for a cause? Not just for for pats on the back?

Blows raspberry

tishhope · 08/04/2018 16:11

Congratulations OP! Put your family's response down to experience: mine were the same and as the years went by they generally mattered less and less to me because of their half-hearted attitudes towards any of my successes - their loss.

MammaTJ · 08/04/2018 16:13

If it's a Martial Arts grading, they are bloody hard and perhaps your family don't realise how hard! Or anything similar really. I think they might not appreciate how hard you have worked for your achievement.

Well done from me, whatever it is!

Ryder63 · 08/04/2018 16:14

Well really, Juells! Shock Grin

saoirse31 · 08/04/2018 16:14

Similar from here. Their loss. And congratulations, OPFlowers

seventh · 08/04/2018 16:17

But you don't do it for the praise do you? Whilst I totally get that their lack of enthusiasm is annoying, it's about you being proud of you , isn't it?

Hissy · 08/04/2018 16:18

I’m so sorry that they’ve all been so unsupportive

I’d be reviewing my relationship with all of them to be honest.

I’ve had similar my whole life from my lot, now have nothing to do with them

Mrsmadevans · 08/04/2018 16:21

Perhaps they are not interested in this subject and fine it boring OP . I am sorry you feel a bit MEH about theIr reaction but Congratulations from the rest of us here ....WELL DONE !

lattewith3shotsplease · 08/04/2018 16:22

This weekend I have achieved something quite special and note worthy

The clue is in the " I " it's special to you, as it's about you.
Don't look for others to share your joy.....people love to knock others down.

Enjoy your very special achievement Wine

FencingFightingTorture35 · 08/04/2018 16:40

Congratulations op. It's shit when people are unsupportive.