To expect my 4 year old to sit quietly for an hour

[Soph88]

All I wanted was to watch the big questions. It's a debate show so need to be able to hear it. She was colouring for a bit (perfect), then started harassing the cat, then the singing started! I tried asking nicely and bribery. I then threatened sending her to her room. I reckon added up she managed 20 mins of being quiet in total.
She just couldn't manage to sit quietly for me and I feel a bit like I was expecting too much from her.
Would you expect a 4 yo to sit for a hour quietly (with toys, colouring etc)?

You’re being quite unrealistic about what the average four year old can manage.

Yes but basically I managed it by interrupting their favourite show and stating 'thats how it feels, and thats why I asked you not to interrupt'. It felt a bit mean, but we went on to negotiate time out with no interruptions for everyone.

Although what actually happened was I used to get a huge ostentatious display of loudly whispered 'Dont Interrupt Mummy Is Watching'

I think she did well lasting twenty minutes! Put the subtitles on the tv and be nice to your kid.

Four year old? For an HOUR? Have you ever met a four year old?

YABU. The only way a 4 year old will be quiet for an hour is in front of the TV, watching something they want, if you're lucky. Watch it on iPlayer when she's in bed

An hour? I can't entertain myself quietly for an hour at 42, nm a 4yo!

Blimey, at four ten minutes of quite is pretty good going. No way would I expect a four year old to stay silent for an hour without any kind of external entertainment. I’m not sure it’s even within the capacity of four year olds to self entertain silently for an hour.

DH couldn't manage an hour and he's 40.

You need another tv!

Yabu in those circumstances. I would expect a 4 year old to be able to sit through a church service or concert, but with absolutely CONSTANT parental input and monitoring, books, toys, playhouse etc and with a backup plan if things went pear shaped. In fact your child entertained themselves really well and you're to be congratulated on their behaviour, but the singing and self talk is part of her play and learning. I certainly would never expect a child to be able to be completely quiet for that time without parental input unless they are in some desperate situation like hiding from the authorities where it's backed up with threats and physical punishment.

Playhouse? Playdough!

Children used to manage it in The Old Days, but not by any methods we'd want to use today.

Yes I think it's a bit much to expect a 4 year old to sit in silence while you watch tv. Why not just record it and watch it when she's in bed?

Threatening a 4yo that they will be sent to their room so you can watch tv in peace, is pretty shitty.

I think an hours too long, sorry. Why couldn't you just watch later on catch up?

Kids that age have such a small attention span. If there's anything we want to watch without interruption, we record it or watch it on catch up

I think it's too much to ask of her but I'm rather surprised that adults can't entertain themselves silently for an hour.

The only way my 3.5 year old would stay silent for an hour is if I gave him the tablet to play/watch.

Why didn’t you just get them to go play in their room instead of making it a punishment? An hour is a big expectation for a four year old.

I accept that I don’t watch anything for me while DS is with me. Or if I really want some quiet (when he gets up pre 6am on a weekend) I give him the tablet and he can watch something while I snooze. He still wants to chat though so he’ll be in bed with me. I’d hate him to feel mummy wouldn’t talk to him for a whole hour or that he had to go out the room. I think expecting a child to sit still in a restaurant etc for an hour is fine. Expecting them to be quiet for a whole hour and threaten to send them away if they want to talk to you in their own home is mean.

Yeah, I do think you were a bit mean TBH.

She was entertaining herself with the singing, and "playing" with the poor cat. It's her house too presumably. I don't believe that kids should have constant interaction from an adult, but I also think it's going too far to stop them from pottering about chatting with themselves.

She's normally very good when colouring and will sit and do it for quite a while. I obviously don't expect her to be completely silent, just lower levels of noise whilst playing. I feel like she has managed that before easily for an hour but something about me asking specifically for a bit of quiet triggered her to make more noise.

Depends on the child really. Some arent as easy to keep focused on one thing. I found it easy as a kid to focus on one thing for longer than an hour, even at 4. Some kids can't and their attention loses focus.