To ask about part time working once kids are older?

[firstworldproblems2018]

What do you think? Scenario:

Male partner works FT earning good money, really enjoys his job. Long hours so doesn’t see DC much in the week but does see them lots at the weekend.

Female partner works PT earning much less, (and would never earn even 1/2 male partner’s salary even if FT) enabling her to look after 2 primary school age children after school/take to after school activities, do household admin/chores/shopping/cooking etc (although has a cleaner x 1 a week) etc etc.

Would it BU to ‘expect’ female partner to go back to work FT after children reach a certain age? If so, why? Or why not?

Just curious as it’s a debate going on in my family.

I never did and right through secondary school I worked PT. it just worked for us and as the dc got older I got more free time for other interests and activities. It worked very well. DH then was able to play golf at the weekend etc without me feeling hard done by.

If both work FT, regardless of salary, both are responsible for the house, school holidays, inset days and all admin.

There are also lots of flavours of "full time work". They don't all involve being out of the house from 7-7! DH and I both work full time but have purposefully chosen (less well paid than others we could have done) jobs that are close to home to minimise travel time and that allow flexible working so that one or other or both of us is always about after school. We've only been able to do this since upper junior though -when the DC were able to get to and from school independently, and after school clubs were either at school straight after school, or in the evening. I think infants/early junior is much the hardest age for physically (as opposed to emotionally ) needing a parent's input.

Yeah I techically work 30 hours a week but I'm out the house for 12 hours a day so 48 hours a week. Then I have some evenings or weekends when I'm catching up on work at home to meet deadlines. Going full time would kill me.

I have one DS who is in year 1 and I work 2.5 days. No intention of going back FT. I do earn quite well for PT- about 2/3 of what DH earns FT and we are both happy with the work/ life balance. We have a cleaner fortnightly but I do various bits of housework, admin etc on my days off, as well as looking after DS before and after school and in the holidays.

I work PT. I had kind of ‘expected’ to up my hours as the DC got older, but I have realised that teens need one of us around as much (if not more) than when they were babies.
And I have even more taxi duties than ever before - cricket, swimming, guides, footballl, drama, music lessons, friends to visit. I am glad to be around most days when they get home as it seems to me, you have to grab the moments when they want to talk to you.

I've always worked full time. Illness aside we have managed this really well but have been extremely lucky with availability of after school and holiday clubs. I now have a teenager and and can work from home 2 days per week. I also have a lot more flexibility in managing my work time. This is so much more important now dd is older. The problems they have tend to be much more complicated and then they forget their keys / lose their money / fall out with their best friend etc. Little ones in creche - simple. Older ones hanging out on their own at home - less simple.

It's not really up to anyone besides the couple tbf, personally I'd hate to rely on someone for money though

Well I work part time. I'm off Monday and Fridays. My youngest starts primary in August and id like to increase my hours because I will be bored if I don't but either by working three full days or five short shifts like the hours I do daily now.

I know if I work full time things at home won't be as good because I'd personally struggle to stay on top of everything whilst working full time. Although I appreciate many manage fine. It's different for every family though.

I've met à few people who worked when the kids were tiny but when they started school it was too hard to manage so now they are SAHP. There's way more mental load with school for a start!

I work 4 days a week and DS is now 12. No intention of increasing any time soon - for one thing DS is too old for holiday club but too young to be on his own all day in the holidays.

Plus we earn enough with me working 4 days a week and I find life full enough as it is.

I'm late 40s and can envisage working into my 60s if I need to for financial reasons.

it's personal but part time is lovely. a persons happiness is important and goes a long way.