to ask how mums of young child manage to not look like *#&@ all the time?

[MamamamaT]

Just that. I have a toddler and am also pregnant, I''m not working but always rushing around. If (big if) I manage to put on make up in the morning, I certainly don't manage hair, my clothes are covered in food and gunk by the end of the day and I always like frazzled and bedraggled. Anyone got any lifesaving tips?

Honestly dont know!! Im pregnant with a toddler too and I look like shite 24/7
I do manage to clean myself as my toddler will amuse himself while I shower which is great. But in terms of energy I just cant be arsed. I try to always put on earrings because for some reason in my mind I think that anyone who wears earrings must be okay as they made some sort of effort.
I do manage to wash my clothes but ironing is not something that ever happens. Im also exclusively dressed in second hand clothing as im dammed if im going to waste money on proper maternity clothing.
I need a hair cut but again cannot see the point in wasting money when I look so shite in general that I may as well just look a bit more shite and save that money for the baby!!
My face is puffy because im not sleeping well and im fairly sure I smell weird even when clean.
My toddler slobbers all over me and has sticky hands.

I feel your pain.

Please let me know own the secrets too lol

Invest in decent makeup. Nars blusher for example is nothing short of miraculous.

I do all the skincare stuff while DS is in the bath. A good exfoliator makes a huge difference.

I get my eyebrows done very regularly as that always makes a difference. I'd love to get nails done too, but I never get the time.

Hair washed/dried/styled in the evening. I have one of those Babylon volume things and it creates a polished finish.

I'm 7 months pregnant and clothes are a joke (I'm living in leggings) so not much to contribute here. I keep baby wipes in work for toddler stains and cleaning shoes

The earrings point is a good one. Simple way to look like you've made an effort.

A good plait is your friend here. I don’t have the time and sometimes money to go get my hair done regularly but I do think it makes the biggest difference. I have three aged 6mnths to 3 and a plait and some gym wear can make me look somewhat like I’ve got it together most days I’m off. Good skincare routine and getting eyebrows done too! I seem to have got worse as I’ve had more kids/since the middle one was about 1.5.

Depends on your priorities. I have 3 aged 4 and under. My house is always clean and tidy but I rarely wear make up or do my hair.

I have never been a ‘jeans’ or ‘trouser’ person - I have tried many pairs over the years, and they either don’t fit, or I feel uncomfortable and have no confidence in them. As a result, I either wear a dress and leggings, or a pencil skirt and a top with leggings. I have received many compliments in the past about the way I dress, but to me they’re just my casual clothes.

The dresses are all made from jersey fabric, and are either bodycon or wrap style, and the pencil skirts are stretchy.

I always wear a statement necklace or statement earrings.

I wear boots with a low heel, as I can’t wear anything much higher.

I always wear make up, even if I’m just staying at home, as I’m ‘not me’ without it. I wish that I could be different, it’d be liberating, but I can’t.

My hair has a life of its’ own, and looks shit no matter how much time has been spent on it, so I don’t bother too much and only spend 5-10 minutes on it in the morning.

I just do ny make up whilst toddler potter's about and 3 month is bounced in bouncer... but i wear a full face of make up everyday and it only takes me 15 mins. I also wear red lipstick. Instant glam!

Dry shampoo is a godsend too!

@OnTheRise you said exactly what I think!!!!!!!! Thank you xxxx

I have 3 children who are 3,5 and 7. I have to have a shower before they get up and then I pop something on the tv for them while I get ready and they have their breakfast.
If I get up late then I know I'm going to look rough that day!

I wash and braid my hair at night when ds is asleep so it either stays plaited the next day or comes out in quite pretty waves that get loosely pinned out of my face (have a lot of very long hair so the waves are pretty loose rather than tight and fizzy ). I gets the ratty ends cut off fairly frequently too.

I hide behind my glasses, put a bit of concealer on any spots throw on skinny jeans/leggings, a light weight jumper and a big scarf and either a pair of boots or sandals depending on the weather.

I feel considerably less bedraggled if I wash often enough and wear all clean clothes every day.

Oddly enough, I often feel like less of a mess at the end of the day if I haven't worn any makeup than if I have. Probably because I don't have eyeliner and lipstick smudged /faded all over my face.

I also don't really wear nail polish, I just keep my nails filed to a nice length and shape (so not talons but not cut down to nothing either). If I do polish them I get shellac/gel so I don't have to worry about it chipping. Chipped polish looks worse than none imo.

I do put in about 5% of the effort that I used to before dc mind you. I just don't have the time or the inclination.

Depends on the mood DS is in. Hes 16 months. If he's ratty, I've no chance, that will be a day I look like shit. If he's amenable, I'll put some basic make up on while he's having breakfast. Hair is long and gets bunged in a top knot every day as DS hangs off it like I'm Rapunzel if it's down. A good concealer and highlighter. And drinking lots of water. If I can stay on top of my eyebrows and beard situation I'm doing well. Think I've shaved my legs once since he was born. I feel like a shadow of my former self.

I give the baby (16 mo) something to distract him - fruit pouch, peppa on youtube on my phone - sit him on floor of room. 10 mins of hair and makeup.
Only feed him in highchair or out with bib on for rest of the day. Baby wipes for everything. Shower every evening when he’s asleep. It’s actually really easy!

I have friend of very small children who is not only always perfectly turned out but wears white trousers in the summer

The best thing to do in my experience is to go through your wardrobe and make an everyday uniform of clothes which all go together. Then I know everything fits, looks pretty good and if one bit gets dirty it can easily be changed without rethinking the whole outfit.

I have been awake since 1.45am. I am mainly worried about getting through the day without passing out tbh.

Also - buy 'murine fresh and bright eye drops' God send.

With 2 kids I always managed hair and makeup, now with my 3rd and eldest in school (they're now 1,3 and 5) I struggle to get ready, preschool must have noticed I've got from polished to a complete mess since!
Just invested in a lipstick thinking if I don't have time to do makeup then just put that on but in reality still don't have time. Doesn't help that my 5 year old doesn't do anything for himself, have to dress him like the younger ones.
Need a haircut but no idea what to do as I've tried a bob and got loads of compliments but my hair is so fine I found I had to style it more being shorter and on bad hair days couldn't hide in a ponytail. I look at hairstyles but know they've had styling done but need something that takes seconds!

Am also pg with a toddler. I have lost interest in my appearance for the most part because Im shattered and i look like Jabba the Hut no matter what anyway (baby due any day). But before I reached this point I found a few things helped.
Skincare- I try to use less products when pregnant anyway, but making sure you do the basics is important. You can do this while they are in bed at night and then just wash face and whack on a bit of moisturiser in the morning (easier said than done I know!).
I have a "dressing room" which I used to use everyday pre baby. I never have time to go in there now so I moved my clothes into the bedroom and moved a bag of basic items to the bedroom (dressing table is huge and won't fit in bedroom) and have a small makeup bag in the living room too. So if I am with DS downstairs or upstairs I should be able to without much hassle.
Im on mat leave now but when I was working I did makeup on the way to work (train). Now, a lot of days I don't bother with much, but if we aren't running late (rare) I'll squeeze in some makeup anywhere I can.
I've changed a lot of my products- for example I used to use an eyebrow pomade that you have to pay attention when applying- now I keep that for when I have time (if I ever do again) and use one with a mascara like brush I can just brush through and it doesn't look too terrible if I'm not paying much attention. Lighter coverage foundations that really match your skin look better if not applied with great attention (but I still need the really heavy-duty under eye concealer)! I've found going for lighter, more natural products has really really helped!
Like some PPs I have a shallac kit that really helps me look somewhat polished and I only need to find the time once in a while (when DC is in bed)
Pre-Pregnancy I used to get eyelash extensions and I'll probably do that again if I can, as that made me feel a lot better appearance wise!
I have very long hair but find it easy to care for - I often wash it at night wrap it in a bun to dry and in the morning it's wavy and looks a bit like I've made an effort.
Although if I really want to look nice for an event I just tell DH he has to look after DS while I get ready.
Loving the tips from the others!

Yes there's been some great tips, thank you for all of them! Mn newbie so not quite sure how to quote people yet but so appreciate all your responses. The one about the nipple check really made me laugh! Skin is not great atm (not acne ridden but a few spots here and there and lots of bumps, coupled with a few broken viens which depress me no end - obv they are BRIGHT red and so noticeable, urgh. One day I'll pay a fortune to get them sorted out) so a good skin care routine probably would be key. Just not sure what is best, was about to start oil cleansing method but got put off by scary side effects! Not sure if it's caused by hormones, diet (going through a bit of a choc obsession ) or one of my existing products - like moisturiser, which would be gutting as I love it. Willing to spend on a product if it's really worth it but don't want to waste money... I guess I need to get me some samples! Hair wise I think youtube is a great idea. Mine's fine, flyaway and very easily damaged so always feel bad straightening, curling and dying but it does look better when paid attention to of course. Jel of you lot who can wash 'n' go/plait 'n' go/bun 'n' go, that's definitely not me expect on a good hair day once in a blue moon. Hey ho, v aware these are first world probs but it does make a huge difference to how we feel doesn't it? thanks again all!

Surely make up isn’t essential ?

I do feel happier with hair done and nice clothes though

@Amanduh you must have a much better behaved 16 month old than me. If I gave him a fruit pouch he'd be wearing it, so would I, and so would every wall in the house ditto the phone, giving him my mobile lasts maybe 15 seconds before he's turned YouTube off, text three people gobbledegook and phoned the police from the emergency lockscreen. It's not easy for me .

Op I managed to always look 'put together ' and people always comment on this despite having a very, very active toddler. I am very organized though and feel this is key in my opinion. When I look good I feel good.
In the mornings I get up and get ready while dh is there before he leaves for work. I have perfected a 5 minute hair and makeup routine. It's the same thing day in day out but at least I look good for the day.

I've also organised my clothing cupboards so that I have clothes/ outfits that are ready to wear. I feel that if we suddenly decide to pop out I'm ready for the day without looking frazzled. I meal plan so that's organised as well. I do gym / class twice a week and it's only an hour and dh and I work arount that. Once a month I try to get my nails done and that's only an hour as well. If not then I set aside 30 mins a week for myself, nails at home, facial, epilating.

This all works as I said because I'm very organized. It might not work for everyone just what works for me. When I look good, I feel even better.

I agree that part of the secret is to find something that works and get super speedy at it - rather than worry about being too innovative.

For example, before I got pregnant for the second time, I wore only dresses to work (because that meant I only had to worry about one piece of clothing ). Black tights, smart boots, good to go.

Likewise my makeup takes 5 mins tops. My look hasn't changed in about a decade, but I can do it in my sleep.

Hair - wash it in evening when kids are in bed. If you still run out of time just wash the fringe and put the rest in a ponytail.
Make up - if you can afford it get eyelash extensions so you can wake up already beautiful! Then you just need to wash your face and put on some tinted moisturiser/BB cream. This is my standard summer make up.
Clothes - if I'm off work/with kids i usually wear plain black fitted gym clothes. Comfortable and practical and can be dressed up (blazer/leather jacket and necklace) or down (hoodie and trainers) depending what I'm doing.
Likewise plain black trainers or cowboy boots (pull on so no wrangling with zips/laces and toddlers) or my favourite summer option - Fitflops! I've got two pairs of sparkly ones I alternate wearing between May and October. they actually look a bit glam.

The bonus if the gym clothes is that if I get a spare twenty minutes with children occupied I can grab the chance to do an online workout.

Dc are 3.5 and 1.5 and also look a shell of my former self. But on mn advice i tried some nip+fab glycolic pads and they've really helped my skin when i feel like a zombie.

Shower, hair brushed & teeth cleaned. That'll do for me. Who has the energy to care?

I’ve had micropigmentation on my eyebrows which has made a massive different. I don’t wear nail polish as I chip it very quickly which looks scruffy so have plain nails all the time. I wear a dressing gown around the house to avoid the filth and I use a Babyliss big hair heated rotating hot brush to dry my hair which takes about 10 minutes and looks very smart- also looks good after 2/3 days with dry shampoo!