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AIBU?

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Original poster

How annoyed can I be?

40 replies

Fandangodazydoo · 06/04/2018 18:41

I've been away with DS4 this week visiting family while DP was working. Arrived nack late last night.

One of his colleagues is seconded from North America so stayed at our house with DP over the Easter weekend rather than staying in a hotel. They work together every day and now, rather than coming home for the barbecue I've prepared they are sat in the pub together. DP has missed seeing DS4 for another day.

We live in Germany and are an hour ahead, so its nearly 8pm here and the sun's going in. I'm quite annoyed that DP doesn't seem to want to spend time with his family and would rather be with a colleague who he has seen all day every day for the past ten days.

Please can you good folk calm me down so he doesn't get too frosty a reception when he finally shows up?

OP posts:
halfwitpicker · 06/04/2018 18:42

Did he know you were going to prepare the BBQ?

Quartz2208 · 06/04/2018 18:43

I would definitely be mad

Original poster
Fandangodazydoo · 06/04/2018 18:44

Yes he did, though it's only home made skewers and veg so it wasn't a massive amount of work

OP posts:
Original poster
Fandangodazydoo · 06/04/2018 19:10

Is it because I said 'veg' that no-one wants to reply to my message?

OP posts:
DeathStare · 06/04/2018 19:13

Please can you good folk calm me down so he doesn't get too frosty a reception when he finally shows up?

Is it because I said 'veg' that no-one wants to reply to my message?

I think it's more likely that we think he deserves the frosty reception and don't want to talk you out of it Grin

arethereanyleftatall · 06/04/2018 19:15

How old is ds4? I think there's an age cross over somewhere around about age 8, where if I didn't see my dc for that day, I would get over it.
Tbh I'm sorry but I wouldn't be too bothered about this.

Original poster
Fandangodazydoo · 06/04/2018 19:18

He's 4.. sorry I meant DS4 as in his age not which sibling he is. He's an only child.

DP has been on WhatsApp and still hasn't had the courtesy to let me know what time he'll be coming home.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fandangodazydoo · 06/04/2018 19:19

Thanks DeathStare Grin

OP posts:
UrsulaPandress · 06/04/2018 19:20

He's a twunt.

Thistlebelle · 06/04/2018 19:22

If I’d prepared a planned meal and my DH sat in the pub all day instead of coming home for it a frosty reception might be the least of his worries.

Unbearable rude and disrespectful.

Henrysmycat · 06/04/2018 19:22

I agree with the frosty reception. Mine would be equivalent to the current temperature in Antarctica.

Original poster
Fandangodazydoo · 06/04/2018 19:25

Thanks. I don't know how to play it as his colleague will be staying with us this weekend as well and I don't want to create a scene in front of him when they get home.

OP posts:
Qwertyuiopy · 06/04/2018 19:26

Had he seen DS since you got back?

Qwertyuiopy · 06/04/2018 19:27

What, his mate was coming back for the bbq also and they’ve not turned up?

That’s awful.

Awrite · 06/04/2018 19:27

Well, I certainly wouldn't cook any other meals for the pair of them.

Very disrespectful to you. And yes, shows where ds is in his list of priorities.

I would be cool until colleagues leaves and then let dh know how much he'd pissed me off.

Original poster
Fandangodazydoo · 06/04/2018 19:30

He saw DS for half an hour last night before settling him back to sleep.

Yep they were both supposed to be coming back for a barbecue. I side tracked my fun plan to go to the gym tonight so we could have the barbecue and now I'm stood alone in my kitchen.

OP posts:
HolyMountain · 06/04/2018 19:33

I won’t lie, I’d be furious and texting to let him know I’m very pissed off, mate staying would not put me off.

flowerslemonade · 06/04/2018 19:44

I don't think that's very nice of them and I'm sorry they didn't turn up.

Oldraver · 06/04/2018 19:46

I would be annoyed as a) he hasn't seen much of DS or YOU..b) he knows you are cooking...c) he's had all flaming week to while away in the pub with his mate

BoomBoomsCousin · 06/04/2018 19:46

I would be really annoyed. Does he often avoid spending time with his son?

It's difficult when there's someone else staying too. Would it make your point without being unfair to your DS if you went out tomorrow on your own and just left him to sort everything?

Nanny0gg · 06/04/2018 19:48

I'd leave it laid out on the table very pointedly for when they get back

Schlimbesserung · 06/04/2018 19:52

On the plus side, you already have some nice pointy sticks prepared...
Joking, obviously, but I'd be furious.

Cambionome · 06/04/2018 19:52

Just send him a very direct text asking when they're getting back as you have prepared dinner. No need to be tiptoeing around them - they need to be told!

QueenStreaky · 06/04/2018 19:57

I don't want to create a scene in front of him when they get home

Your dh is the one who's created a potential scene, not you. He can hardly hold you responsible for just reacting to his twattishness.

I like the idea of leaving the meal set out for when they get home Grin.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 06/04/2018 20:00

Is it barbecue weather in Germany?

It's disrespectful and rude; but making that point might be difficult whilst colleague is staying. Will he be with you all weekend; so he'll have stayed with you 13 days in total? That's pretty accommodating of you all!

I would suggest leaving them their food to sort themselves but I suspect if they spend much longer in the pub, they'll either be drunk or have already at least smacked.