Weird neighbours

[PrettyLittIeThing]

Please tell me other people have neighbours like this and it's not just me! So whenever I am in my garden my neighbours will spy out the window at me. They did it last summer and now that the weather is getting better it looks like they are back to it. (Haven't been using the garden much until now.) Last year they use to spy out when my kids were in their paddling pool. Now I am tidying up the garden ready for the nice weather they are looking out directly down at us again. Even if I look up they just stay there staring. It's the parents and the kids that do it. Today the daughter was hanging out of the window looking down at us and just singing?! It made me uncomfortable to the point I went back inside. Aibu to find this annoying. Sometimes I think it's because I live in a gff (well it's a mainsonette) as surely in a house you wouldn't look into your other neighbours garden whereas they are above us. Before anyone days maybe they are just looking outside at the view. No they are definitely not as they are looking directly down and there is no view anywy just trees. Aibu to find this annoying? Just to add me and these neighbours don't talk at all other than collecting parcels from each other (been about 4 times in two years so not often.) but that's the only interaction we have had.

Because of the historical changes to our houses, our conservatory (which is raised above garden level) looks into next door's garden as well as some of our own. We eat our meals there because it's pleasant to look at the plants and the birds. Every so often a neighbour comes out and spoils the tranquility of our view. They probably think we're spying on them.

Well I take it your not looking directly at them hanging out of your window?

Go in the garden naked.

If I sit in my garden, people from a dozen neighbouring flats can see me. I’ve learnt to ignore.

I don't think it's clear what I am saying, I don't mind people seeing me. There are a few other houses around. It's hanging directly out and watching us that bothers me.

Yeah, stroll out completely naked one day and give them a cheery wave. If they persist, carry on with the naked waving but add a different prop each time - fake moustache one day, top hat the next, etc.

Ignore them, they will soon stop looking when they realise you are only going about your normal day - tidying etc

Could you try a cheery wave and "Can I help you with anything"? Engage them directly in conversation? Maybe they will take the hint, maybe they are just weird.

Short of flat out asking them not to watch you every time you go outside I'm not sure what you can do except grow a very thick skin and ignore them.

My MIL was convinced she had neighbours like this, couldn't use the garden because the neighbours were always watching. It was definitely 100% her, not them. Perfectly normal use of their own house and garden was them "watching". They are, afterall, entitled to use their windows. I don't think there's anything that odd about a happy child leaning out of a window and singing on a nice day.

How long have they lived there op?as in did they move in and start immediately or did it all just start last summer?really odd,I can understand why you feel uncomfortable.

Honestly I don't mind people having a look out there windows but having it wide open and hanging out looking down is a different story. When I first heard the girl just now I assumed it was my daughter up at the window so I looked up and no it was the neighbours daughter looking straight at me. It's just privacy really. Might have to start going out naked the sight of that would hopefully make them stop!

Are you interacting with them? Wave and chat. They'd probably love to be invited down I assume they don't have a garden and possibly wondering why you can't see them if you pretend you don't notice!

Are they English or furrin? Not being funny, but different cultures view things differently. I had an Indian neighbour (male) who used to ask me where I'd been and what I had in the shopping bag. An Indian (female) friend told me it was 'a thing', that they were all nosy and demanded information, particularly from women. When the Indian man moved a Filipino couple moved in. The wife is quiet, goes off to work, the husband sits in an upstairs window watching all day. I ignore him, but it gets on my tits. I really feel like giving him the finger and telling him to stop watching.

It's very difficult - you don't want open warfare with neighbours, but it makes you feel you have no privacy.

Maybe they are bored of the television ....

Are you interacting with them? Wave and chat. They'd probably love to be invited down

WTF!?

I've been here 3 years. They did start immediately, they moved in summer two years ago and would stare at my children in the paddling pool (mainly the mum) when they first moved in my son was in the garden, he started crying and before I had even got a chance to leave the kitchen (overlooks the garden so I could see him at all times whilst I was washing the dishes) I walked through into the dining room which has the door to the garden, I could hear the dad shouting out "are you ok?" I was abit shocked as I have next door neighbours with children if one of them cried in their garden I wouldn't dream of calling over and asking them anything.

Jeeeese, they must be bored bored people. Leave 'em to it. Do your garden and blank them. Sit out and have a coffee break. They are very very tragic people.

Not that I'm saying you should but I wonder if they are hoping for an invitation to also use your garden (assuming they don't have one of their own). They might have moved in thinking "Oh awesome flat with garden", then realised "Oh shit, we have no access to that garden".

I hate being watched, so you have my sympathy.

On that occasion why did you not call out "He's fine thank you - I was watching him through the window" and take the opportunity to chat to them?

i am sure my neighbours think I am spying on them, I spend a lot of time in the kitchen, with a massive picture window, and we are the end house with a shared drive

I really am just out there a lot, I make lots of coffees, cooking, or pottering and if the wind is in the right direction it is the warmest room in the house.

On that occasion why did you not call out "He's fine thank you - I was watching him through the window" and take the opportunity to chat to them?

What if she doesn't want the opportunity to chat to them? Any friendliness and they'll be in her garden.

I would wave and cheerily call out "morning" or "hello again" every single time.

I would feel uncomfortable too, but as a true non-confrontational Brit, I would probably put up enough parasols/canopies that I couldn't be watched!

I used to live in a townhouse where the middle floor had the kitchen and dining room, and I often felt uncomfortable being overlooked by my neighbours while I was sat in the garden. Putting up the parasol made me feel a lot more comfortable.

Strategically placed washing line with a sudden compulsion to hang sheets out whenever you're in the garden.
Scaffolding poles are good for this. Postcrete sturdy plumbers water pipes into the ground and you can slide the poles into them so they're not a permanent feature. Drill through yhe tops to add pulley mechanisms.They're long enough for a really tall line.

Maybe they are watching the birds. In the trees. Seriously, people are allowed to look out of their wins for as long as they please.