To wonder if this job is worth it?

[sharkirasharkira]

I've been in my job coming up for 3 months now and generally speaking it is ok. Working conditions are reasonably good, I like the other staff and get on with them. I'm on a really good wage for my job level and the area I live in, and the job is not seasonal, which is a big issue in my industry!

At the moment its just the AMOUNT of work I'm doing - Sometimes I'm leaving the house at 9:30am and not getting home till 11:30pm. Some days I don't get time to have a break. I'm on my feet for the vast majority of the time I'm here and have developed carpel tunnel and migraines since I started here - likely from a combination of the stress, heat, long hours, lack of sleep etc. I can't even wear the wrist support thingy (for the carpel tunnel) most of the time because its so restrictive I can't do my job. My whole body aches.

They're having staffing issues at the moment so a lot of it I'm doing pretty much on my own and its taking its toll on me mentally and physically.

I barely have the time or energy to eat or shower, let alone do anything fun. I'm trying to lose weight and I'm paying for a gym membership that I'm too knackered to use. Too tired to cook anything at all nutritious. Too tired to have sex with DP. I'm just exhausted. It pretty much takes me the whole of my 2 days off to recover from the week of work and then the cycle starts again.

However..

This is the best paid job I've ever had. I'm not earning huge amounts but because I keep my outgoings fairly low I have so much more disposable income now. For the first time ever in my life I'm able to buy lunch, a coffee, go out to dinner, etc without having to worry. My bills are sorted. I'm out of my overdraft. I'm actually able to making SAVINGS!! I can plan a nice holiday with DP, something we've never been able to do in all the years we've been together. I can buy nice gifts for my kids and family members' birthdays.

The thought of having to give all that up makes me so sad but honestly I don't know how much longer I can cope. I feel so pathetic because a lot of people work very hard and very long hours and I feel like I'm being so dramatic but I'm just really struggling. It's probably only going to get worse too because we haven't even entered our busy period for the year yet!

Aibu to think its worth it for the money? Or is it?

Guessing this is the hospitality sector? Surely you’ll make yourself ill working such dreadfully long hours - does your workplace need more staff?

But you're not seeing your family at all! That's no kind of life for you.

No job is worth it OP if it is affecting your health and family life.

Would it be an idea to stick it out for a few more months so you can save up as much as possible, and then leave? That way you will have savings to provide a buffer if you need to go back to seasonal work

No job is worth getting carpal tunnel!

Yes and yes Puppy.

They have been trying to find someone for a while - apparently before me they got lots of enquiries but no one actually turned up to the interviews or job trials. It took them a few months to find me and the thought that I might have a few more months of this before I might get some help is honestly a bit soul-destroying. But I don't want to walk out and leave them in the lurch, we already have one staff member leaving this month which is just going to exacerbate things for them!

I don't really see anyone or do anything Hollow, just get up, go to work, come home, bed, rinse and repeat the next day. I feel back to normal on my days off but obviously that only 2 days a week. When the other staff member leaves I don't know what I'll do as they wont be there to cover me

I don't think the job caused the carpel tunnel per se, Crow, but it does make it worse and a lot of the things I have to do with my hands/wrists hurt because of it. But that would be the same in any job in this industry so there isn't a lot I can do about it.

Is it worth being honest with your employer and say that whilst you really enjoy the job you simply cannot physically cope any longer, and what are they going to do about it? Because if they don't do something (temp staff? Agency staff?) you will be forced to leave before you make yourself ill.

I think I'm just having a bad day and feeling a bit overwhelmed

Was really busy earlier and I still have a mountain of stuff left to finish and a to do list as long as my arm. It'll be busy again later and another late night. Can't stop crying, been on and off since this morning.

I'd ask to meet with your direct manager and ask for clarification on two things.

Firstly I'd want to know what they are doing to sort this problem in the long term and some guarantees (with dates) of how long you feel you can keep these current hours/workload up. Get it recorded in writing.

Secondly I'd be telling them that in the meantime you cannot keep doing everything that you are doing and that while you accept that the workload will still be greater than when the long term problem is sorted, something has to give as you can't do everything. I'd ask your manage to help you prioritise your workload into what is essential, what is desirable and what can be reasonably put off until a later date. I'd also ask what tasks can be delegated to someone else.

Oh, and if you're not a union member get filling in your membership form

To add a different perspective, no I don't necessarily think you should quit. We currently live in a world where we are told everyday that achieving job satisfaction or work/life balance is equivalent to the holy grail and that we risk burning out if we over exert ourselves, but I think this is really skewering some people's expectations of the demands of working life (my own included). As someone who left a highly paid city job four years ago to retrain in a creative field, I can honestly say not a day goes by when I don't doubt the decision I made. I have a fantastic work/life balance now and I enjoy what I do, but that alone won't pay the bills and I have significantly more financial worries now than I did before. No savings. No real pension. I wake up some nights in tears about the sustainability of what I'm doing now and what possible salary increases I might ever see (none). The days of not having to worry about going shopping for the day or dining at a "nice" restaurant are gone. Before I always knew that if I blew a bit too much money one month I could rely on a big pay check the next to recoup it, but now I'm earning much less money I could kick myself for taking that for granted. If this salary has made such a noticeable difference to your financial security, I would urge you not to be too hasty in throwing that away.

Your physical health and of course your family/friend relationships are massively important, so if you said that the job would always be this way (long hours, no social life etc) I would probably agree with the pp's. But in my experience the first year of any new job always feels 10x harder than the subsequent years once you get into the swing of things, even if you already know the industry. I used to work until 11pm most nights of the first 18 months of my old job, but once I knew the role inside out I cut it down to a respectable 6pm finish most nights. If there is a realistic possibility that either a) you will spend less hours at work once you are more familiar with and efficient at the role or b) you anticipate that future requests for extra support might be listened to and actioned then I would say try to stick it out if you can, albeit definitely seek some extra help with the carpel tunnel syndrome. Provided you don't overcommit yourself financially by taking out a huge mortgage on your new salary or financing a fancy new car you can make the decision to leave further down the line if things don't get any better.

Could they get agency staff in to help while they are recruiting?

How long is their usual retention rate? Because often in such jobs it is 6 months or less.
I would seriously talk to a manager before you quit, but make it quite clear that you will quit unless you get reduced hours.

You won't get to your death bed and wish you'd spent more time at work. You might wish you had your health or had spent time with your family.

If you have been there a little while it might be worth applying for other jobs in a similar field - big chains tend to often treat their workers a little better (but some small firms can be great).

Ah! I feel for you. Same position I was in a few years back, even down to the wrist pain! - still now I can't carry too much weight with my right hand!
It's a hard slog with the hours and the work (and with little thanks from the customers) can you speak to your boss about how you're feeling? See if you can get a reduction in hours? Or maybe they might step up and sort out the employment issue?

Well, a bit of a development - my boss has quit, just never showed up and then messaged to say they weren't coming back!

So I guess I've had a promotion in a way

Although that does mean I am now the only one in my department and therefore my hours will be increasing if anything. I have no choice as there will be only be there to work. I can't let them down.

They have interviewed someone so hopefully they will be ok and they can come in and help out but I have no idea at this point. Fml.

Do you work for a chain op?

Nope, its a really small independent place with a very small team!

Unfortunately OP in the hospitality industry the rule is - the better the pay the worse the hours.

You need to make the decision to stay and work at the level you are or find a better work life balance with worse pay.

Please go and tell whoever is now in charge that you need extra help and need it now. You dont want to let them down by falling ill through overwork but something has to give. Please stand up for yourself, you are working yourself too hard. I have worked hospitality and understand how you feel but they either look after you better or you will be ill. Take care.

You do have a choice. You can simply not do all the work thats thrown at you and work something more like your paid-for hours, or you can agree a sensible overtime payment rate. While a good work etchic is laudable you working all the hours god sends and spending half your home time in tears of exhaustion is simply nuts - you are being taken massive advantage of. The more you manage the more you will prove that they don’t need to take on more staff. Stop right now!

You are right in that, the more I take on the more they will think they can give me. I know that the business has been struggling a bit for money and I don't want to cause them any problems. I like my job, I want them to do well, for me and for everyone else that works there.

I just worked out that even though I'm on a reasonable salary, if I break it down per hour I'm under minimum wage I just feel so cheeky asking for more as I don't really have the experience to be in my current role but Im taking it on because I have to and there is no one else.

In a way it could be really good for me and my career - if I can put my current role on my CV that could open up better opportunities in the future? Maybe I just need to suck it up and deal with it.

I'm not a money grabbing person at all but it is SO NICE to not have to worry about money for the first time in my life

What would they have done if you had also decided that today was the day that you had had enough and not gone in? Whether it was due to falling sick or because you were resigning?

Because they need to be aware that at the moment if you are the only one left and you are struggling then there is a good chance that at some point soon you are going to collapse from exhaustion and/or a bug or just throw in the towel as you don't want to cope any more and then they are in real trouble. It's in their interest to keep you sane and healthy and working there!

What hours are you supposed to be in work? And how many hours of overtime are you working - paid and unpaid?

If they haven't formally asked you to upgrade to the manager's role then don't automatically start doing it otherwise they will just expect you to carry on but at the lower wage and carry on with your existing job too... (voice of bitter experience watching both my dh and dsis get exploited like this).

Point out that your contracted hours are say 10.30 to 6.30 with an hour for breaks, so that doing the job at they contracted you to do, you would be paid £xx. But that actually as you are working for an extra 5 hours a day, this is almost double the hours that you are contracted to do and you just can't do it. Not only that, it means that the pay is only £yy/hour which is a very different prospect when you are working so many hours and don't want to, it's not what you signed up for.

Can you put forward a counter proposal - that if they want you to stay to do your current job then you will do it so that you are working a couple of hours of overtime a day, you will be taking breaks and that you need to be paid extra for the overtime (start by asking for time and a half or even double time as you're in a strong position and it gives you space to bargain down but still get extra), Point out that you took the job because you wanted the hours it offered, not the hours that you are having to work. And that you can't cope, it's not fair and you'll be off otherwise. because if you're doing all this extra work, you mgith as well get paid for it! Unpaid overtime is one thing when it's a project that has a rush on as it comes to the end and you know that in a couple fo weeks it will be quiet and you can have a few quiet days in lieu to even things out. When it's used to screw the employees to get twice the work for half the pay it's a completely different matter.

In the mean time, if you got on well with your ex manager, contact them and see where they have moved on to, see if it is somewhere similar with better conditions and see if they are looking to recruit... Or if they came across anywhere else they could recommend you to. And if you can use them as a referee.

And if you're at the point of collapse, then maybe make a doctor's appointment and go. and get help for your CTS and migraines, get signed off for a few days to get yourself back together again. Might concentrate their minds on what would happen if you did leave. Plus it's not healthy to be working on full for so long that you're continually so tired, you owe it to yourself.

Good luck...

sorry, long post so cross posted with the last few posts!

I don't have a formal contact or official working hours yet, so to speak - my working hours are basically the opening hours minus 2 days ish for days off.

Today I worked 10:30am until 10pm, I took 20 minutes to sit down and have some lunch but that was it.

legally you HAVE to have a hour break after working a max of 6 hrs ( most places its 4.5 hrs ) if you do not take this break and something goes wrong ie you trip / drop something / hurt yourself you may not be initialled to sick pay as it was your fault you did not take a break.
If you hurt or cause some one to be hurt this can also be put down to you been over tired / hungry / thirsty .
This happened to me many years ago after I did a 10 hour shift in a bar and dropped a case of beer near a customer whom claimed I ruined his clothes and his and his friends night out , ( the beer splashed one foot ) It took a lot of letters and 3.5 stressful months to sort out . he dropped the charges but my bosses said if he had not it would of been me that was accountable not the ( very big well known pub chain ) I had worked for them for 11 years at this point , so much for looking after your staff !

your wages may be good but money does not buy back the time you have missed with your kids and fella

If they haven't sorted your contract out all the more reason to get it sorted out correctly (ie the way you want it and were led to believe it was going to be) sooner rather than later.

Are you doing much more than you were expecting - sounds like it when you realise that if you total your hours up they're less than minimum wage...

Does sound like they are happy to take advantage of you and your good nature, work ethic and aversion to confrontation though...