The youth of today are the unhappiest ever

[Unfinishedkitchen]

www.theguardian.com/society/2018/apr/05/young-people-have-never-been-unhappier-research-suggests

Some are stabbing each other. Some are killing themselves. Some can’t escape social media bullying. The nihilism, hopelessness, anger and hate is rising. Its like many of them see no real future. It feels like we’re entering a dystopian age. It scares me. Our country is sick and the youth are displaying the most painful symptoms.

goingonabearhunt - do you think 1960's society treated people with Down Syndrome, for example, better than we treat them now? Bearing in mind that it was pretty common for doctors to advise mothers to leave their babies with DS to die.

Will they go to youth clubs.

Ours is still open and it aimed at looked after children. We run multiple workshops aswell as evening open clubs and we have a lot of teenagers access it.
We do things like residentials, outdoor activities ( wall climbing, rafting etc )
We do music work shops which are a huge hit and we have strong relationships with schools.

When did this research begin?

Hard to believe they were polling 16th century young 'uns to check their happiness levels.

Also as I said actually we are not near the crisis we had back 12 years ago where postcode gangs were a huge crisis, aswell as teenage pregnancy rates etc.

There was a reason these all declined and it was with the right inteventions.

I believe In the work that we do and we make sure it is things that we think they will engage in.

I have been on leave for some time now but my husband is still working there.

When I was a teenager in the space of 4 years we lost more of our class mates to gang crime than anything else.
There was improvement by 2010 and we need to establish now how we get back to that before we end up in crisis again

At school, they are frequently assessed in every subject and their performance is measured against a hypothetical trajectory calculated by software. My daughter (Y9) works as hard as she possibly can, yet feels that what she does is never good enough, because she is still struggling to meet her targets. She cried at a recent parents' evening, and this is a young person who hardly ever cries.

Unfinished, this is an important point. I'm a teacher who will be retiring this summer, and I have witnessed first hand the impact of the relentless incursion of data-driven targets in education; it is something I will be more than happy to leave behind.

Firstly these targets are largely based on a child's KS2 results, and in many cases these are inflated due to all the relentless teaching to the test that goes on in Year 6. Pupils in secondary education then have a very tall order in endeavouring to meet the targets they are set.

Secondly, nothing is ever good enough where the pupils are concerned; there always has to be a target for improvement. Personally I recall how pleased as punch I was when a pupil myself, to get my Physics book back, marked - and the only comment was "A+ excellent". I'm not blowing my own trumpet in making that remark - Physics was my nemesis - but that teacher really made me feel good about myself. We don't do enough of making pupils feel good about themselves these days.

A colleague has a child in Year 11, so sees exactly how it is from a parent's perspective these days. The teachers are piling on the work to be done at home, because what with the new GCSEs there isn't the time during the day to get through the content - and they are all worried about their results (performance-related pay, etc). The workload for the pupils is unsustainable.

To be honest I think the older generation had it pretty easy.

They really didn't. Do some research

Actually, they did. I think you’re the one who needs to do some pretty major research. Let me start that for you:

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.bbc.co.uk/news/amp/business-34858997

We’ve gone from a situation where each generation was better off than their parents generation to one where children are expected to be poorer than their parents.

And that’s just looking at it in bare income terms. The older generations had free education to University level. They had cheap, accessible accommodation of adequate size. It was affordable for one parent to stay home. Raising a family was affordable. They were encouraged to save and saving was profitable whereas it’s pointless now and young people are saddled with horrendous levels of debt.

There’s another thread going on at the moment about Alexa and parents who think it’s acceptable to palm off bed time stories on Alexa and leave their kids being told jokes by a computer rather than having a conversation with them and when they want to ask all their silly childhood questions like why is the sky blue or what makes cars go or why do leaves grow in spring and turn brown in autumn they get sent off to ask sodding Alexa.

There’s reasearch showing that young people’s peer relationships are largely taking place online and this is damaging their social skills and ability to build healthy relationships while making them more anxious and depressed.

I’m part of the dog end of generation X and that end of Gen X got a very poor deal which had become even worse before it got passed on to millennials.

Social mobility is fucked and there is a huge lack of opportunity for children who were born poor. And no this isn’t just ‘teh evil Toreiehs’ as the lions share of the worst of it happened under Labour.

If you want to go back to a generation who had it significantly worse you’d need to go back to the pre-war generation.

Today's young people are the first generation who aren't growing up in the expectation that they will be as well off or better off than their parents.

Again, it's this 'comparison is the thief of joy' thing. The thought never occurred to me, whether I would be better or worse off. I jut got on with living my life as best I could - control what I could and hope that no politician set off an atomic bomb meanwhile.

And as to "the first generation who aren't growing up in the expectation that ..." try telling that to those who served in the World Wars who didn't expect to survive, never mind thrive.

Yeah, senua, it’s not the generations that grew up during the World Wars who are telling young people that they should stop moaning though is it?

It’s the people who were born post war to the 1960s who had considerable social advantages secured for them by their parents of the wartime generation which they benefited from then withdrew from their own children.

The wartime generation (who are mostly dead) did their absolute level best for their children but those children were selfish little soda who took it all with both hands then drew up the drawbridge against their own children and grandchildren.

And that ‘comparison is the their of joy’ phrase is one beloved of people who have benefited from unfair advantages but don’t want it pointed out. Apparently Imelda Marcos was fond of using that phrase as she collected shoes while Phillipinos starved.

selfish little sods who took it all with both hands then drew up the drawbridge against their own children and grandchildren.

Where do you get that from? Do you seriously think that BabyBoomers had children expressly so they could do them over? We all do (what we think, at the time, is) the best with the hand we are dealt.

I find it strange that people are moaning about teachers pushing for better results. When DD was at school there was an atmosphere of "as long as you scrape a pass, that will do". There was no ambition. That is equally damaging.

I find it strange that people are moaning about teachers pushing for better results. When DD was at school there was an atmosphere of "as long as you scrape a pass, that will do". There was no ambition. That is equally damaging.

No ambition is not good, but things have veered far too far in the other direction in the past couple of years. It's just not a healthy climate.

Didn't take long for this thread to turn into an attack against the babyboomer generation, did it?
I have a son of 21, and he identified social media (well the internet generally) as a negative force a few years ago. I was surprised because I think the internet is the greatest thing ever, but then I don't use social media.
As for bad parenting, there's always been bad parenting. Generally parenting and family life is more child centred now whereas it used to revolve around the adults, especially the father.
Socially I can see a difference between how my 29 year old, and my 21 year old grew up. My oldest had a more old school childhood, playing out, doing paper rounds, etc . My younger didn't play out much because other local children weren't allowed to, found it harder to get part time work and was definitely under more academic pressure. It's hard to say who is the happier adult.

Think as a parent you need from early on , I'm talking 4 or 5, get children into whatever outdoor activity or sport they like, or you know they'll like and keep it up. Takes parental time and commitment. Also support school, talk about it, ensure homework gets done, be enthusiastic about school and support it. Mostly talk to your children about everything and anything. Bring them to parks, museums, galleries etc. Ensure they see a life o/ s celebrity crap. Talk about history, current affairs , etc value reDing, value knowledge.
But takes time and commitment.

Value reading that is, and show you do.

I find it strange that people are moaning about teachers pushing for better results
I think the problem is that it doesn't seem to be done for the benefit of the children or take their individual needs and ability into account. Instead the motive seems to be to meet targets. No one wants to feel as if they're just a statistic.

It’s our fault.
We demand child free spaces.
We ignore our teens, act almost scared of them.
We give them access to social media far too young.
We fail to teach them how to earn.
We fail to teach them respect.
Children learn by example and they are watching the adults destroy their environment, consume without thought and fight and complain and hate.

Where do you get that from? Do you seriously think that BabyBoomers had children expressly so they could do them over?confused We all do (what we think, at the time, is) the best with the hand we are dealt.

No. I think they as a group decided that they cared more about benefiting themselves than they did the younger generation. As individuals they may well do their best for their children but as a group I don’t see them agitating against the pension triple lock or means testing of benefits for wealthy pensioners.

And our hand is ‘dealt’ by the previous generation. Baby boomers were dealt a very good hand by their parents and then dealt a shitty one to their kids.

And of course the younger generation are making the best of the hand they were dealt. But it just so happens that even when they make the best of it the shitty hand dealt to them by the boomers means even their best outcomes are considerably worse than the best outcomes the boomers had.

In fact, many boomers didn’t even have to ‘make the best of it’ and could be extremely mediocre and still do extremely well.

I am planning on supporting dd and telling her to aim for her best and not the predicted grade but that won't help her secondary school teachers who have to explain why she won't reach the predicted grades
This is a common issue and one easy to manage. My DS predictions are 9 in ALL 9 subjects. Ha ha, indeed, that's because of inflated sats results.

So what? I told him that of course I don't expect him to achieve this. His teachers have explained that it is difficult for them because they will be monitored on him achieving these results, but have also explained that what matters is that he does his best. I told him that if he got 8s, I'd be over the moon, 7s and it will be a good results. If he gets some 9, then that's an incredible achievement, but nothing more than that.

Kids don't have to feel pressured if they have parents and teachers who explain things to them.

I just think our society in general has become more competitive and harsh
I think exactly the opposite. Nowadays, everything is excused. Kids can be as lazy as they wish, but it's ok because there are many things they can blame it on that will be excused as it won't be their fault. Kids feel under pressure because they are so rarely exposed to it so the moment they are faced by it, they feel it's the end of the world.

I remind my kids what it was like when they first learn to walk, first rode their bike. It was scary, it was hard, they didn't know if they would manage it and they failed before they managed it. It's perseverance and confidence that got them through it. The fact that they now take it totally for granted is not because it was easy but because practice made good. I tell them to apply the same thought when they are faced with any challenges.

Generally parenting and family life is more child centred now whereas it used to revolve around the adults, especially the father.

Don’t make me laugh. Child centred families are ones where families actually spend time together. Parents these days are so overstretched trying to earn the money to feed and clothe their children those children spend half their lives in childcare and before and after school care. That’s a funny way of being ‘child centred’.

the older generation in recent elections has hugely fucked over the younger generation, the push to get everybody to vote not just the interested,informed people has meant that a lot of belligerent, ignorant and selfish people had made terrible decisions that they know won't effect them for much longer, and yes I count myself as the youth I'm still in my 20s, why should the youth be happier? why shouldn't they be angry?

www.noreena.com/generation-k-understanding-teens-today/

This is a really interesting link based on an in depth academic study published in 2015. It draws no conclusions about the "battle of the generations" but gives a really good insight into how young people think, why they think and act the way they do and how they are different from previous generations.

I have to admit, a lot of it chimes with me in observing that generation and chimes with a lot of the parents and employers I have mentioned it to

Everyone seems to have their own talisman to keep the unhappiness bogeyman from their children's door. A nuclear family, healthy eating, outdoor exercise, a particular parenting style.

People chose their talisman carefully, often adopting the thing that is easily achievable for their circumstances. So I'm cynical about the easy answers.

Anyway. How are they guaging this unhappiness? They seem to be simply asking them, so presumably have they considered that no other generation has been so schooled in the discourse of self observation and assessment and accounted for that? That unhappiness is dressed up as the only alternative to happiness, as though one must be one or the other, not that we are often neither or just toggle between the two?

Social media
Big mistake to give kids too much power, they need parenting, you need to say no.
They need also to fail. They do not need constant praise.

why is everyone saying social media? it's not the bogeyman if it's used well it's very good if people live long distances from family etc , people in those situations feel much less alone.

'I just think our society in general has become more competitive and harsh'

'I think exactly the opposite. Nowadays, everything is excused'

Oddly, I agree with both of you! Competition and harsh judgement are definitely fuelled by social media. Some people seem to live their whole lives on Facebook or similar - nothing actually exists unless it has been announced on FB. People present the fantasy version of their lives to others, along with smug nonsense like #family, #makingmemories etc. The government encourage us to put people into boxes - 'strivers' v 'skivers' for example. You either get validated with 'likes', or torn to pieces with vile comments that hardly anyone would dare say to your face in real life.

And yet, its true that there is an excuse for everything. No one must be allowed to 'fail', to experience disappointment or to make a mistake. So many parents give their children whatever they want whenever they want it. This may be coming from a good place, where parents want their children to have a better life than they did, but it's a really poor approach to parenting.

Shatners, I agree with you completely about your examples of ineffective parenting. I don't know whether to laugh or pull my hair out when I hear stuff like 'all parents want the best for their children'. Parents who are either emotionally or physically absent are most definitely part of the reason for the younger generation's troubles

stay Um, you answered your own question: IF IT'S USED WELL. The people you are talking about (long distances from family) are rarely "youth".