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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be genuinely concerned about some of the older drivers on the road

305 replies

Melas · 05/04/2018 21:51

I work at a hospital. Went to lunch today and was approached by a very confused elderly man who couldn’t find the clinic he needed for his wife. He was stooped over, had a tremor and was really frail. I pointed the clinic out three times and he was still confused so I walked him to the doors (he was shuffling) and then went to find a porter to help with his wife.

I came back from lunch and he was driving out of the car park with his wife. Car creeping along at 2mphs, he bumped over the pavement and on to the main road still at around 5-10mph as he went around the corner.

He could barely walk, how is he still driving safely? I do not condone drink driving at ALL but I could have a large glass of wine and be over the limit and I swear I would still be more responsive than he was.

We had an awful incident here a few years ago when an elderly man killed a 16 year old girl on her way to college. He’d had an accident a few days beforehand driving down the wrong side of the road but the police were unable to confiscate his licence (I think this may have changed by now).

Shouldn’t we be retesting at certain age by now? Even if it was 80 that would be something. I can’t stop thinking about this man driving around the roads still.

OP posts:
tiggytape · 08/04/2018 17:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cantkeepawayforever · 08/04/2018 17:03

We just dont know what to do, at the moment its just the odd additional dent in the car, but it will get worse rather than better wont it

FiL's family didn't want to report him because 'it would be cruel to deprive an old man of his freedom' and, even worse, 'If he dies at the wheel it won't be too bad a way to go.'

They are VERY quiet on the subject of other people he might kill in the meantime - but as a family the 'common good' is not really something they ever think about. Hence me wanting to report anonymously.

MereDintofPandiculation · 08/04/2018 17:07

Agree, we need to design incentives to encourage people to find housing that will suit their needs as they age My need as I age will be to indulge interests that I have too little time for, which means a need to travel rurally. Too many people feel the only need of the elderly is a nice flat to sit in and a bus to the GP and shops. Just hoping driverless cars get to us quick enough.

FairfaxAikman · 08/04/2018 17:18

My DGF is one of those who never passed a test (though he will insist he did). Army licences can be converted to civvy ones.
His "test" during National Service involved driving a sergeant from barracks to the train station - he says it was during rush hour but you can't tell him that rush hour in the 50s was nothing like rush hour now (I live in the city this happened in), it's not even close to rush hour in the small town they live near!

He always said he hoped he would know when to give up, and while he did quit following a stroke he was unsafe for at least a decade before that.
DGM was a good driver but continued to drive from their village to town despite undergoing treatment for a degenerative eye condition. A reliance on oxygen is the only reason she's stopped now.
Thankfully two of her three sons live within two miles, while I'm around an hour away but visit most weekends otherwise I think they'd struggle

TollgateDebs · 08/04/2018 17:23

A real story - we had a car overturn in our hedge, as the driver of the vehicle that caused the crash was registered blind - absolutely true - and they were driving out of a junction, from which they couldn't see the approaching vehicle, as they had no vision at the edges of their view and hit the car that overturned. They were not elderly, but middle-aged, so the issue is not just one of age.

I made my Dad give up driving and, believe me, it was not easy, but I knew he was a risk (medical condition), something the doctors would not back me up with (but when he was eventually tested he had actually had a stroke), so it was all down to me to stop him driving and boy, was I unpopular!

We have a ticking time bomb of those who never get their eyes tested, at any age, or who fail to declare medical conditions that affect their driving. The real issue is about capability and not simply a generalization of age.

Something to consider is how those who no longer drive access doctors and hospitals, or indeed many other aspects of life, that those of us with cars take for granted. Once my Dad no longer had a car, he then had to have hospital transport provided and that costs a great deal. I would help when I could, but if you work then that's not during a day when help with transport is generally needed. The car for many is a lifeline, so is the reason that many resist giving up driving the fear of what happens to their life next? Who is going to provide the transport that those that no longer drive need, as for many public transport is non-existent and the costs of taxis is prohibitive, so who is willing to provide that link, not just to services, but to life which increasingly is no longer on your doorstep.

Davros · 08/04/2018 17:39

I heard something on the radio a while ago about an online system for requesting and offering lifts to people in small communities. Maybe something like that could help? Nextdoor or similar could develop this as a local service.
But I still think a lot more thought and support needs to be available to move to less isolated locations before it gets too late.

EmilyAlice · 08/04/2018 17:43

I don’t think you necessarily need to re-test driving, but a simple test of eyesight and reaction time would be sensible after 75. Here in rural France, everyone keeps driving until they drop. There is far less traffic, but people of every age tend to drive as if they are never going to meet anyone else on a country road. Young drivers are the worst by far.
Having said that, the Brits on holiday who haven’t bothered to learn about priorité à droit are a nightmare. I have seen so many near misses in our local town.

Andrewofgg · 08/04/2018 19:25

tiggytape My DM who would be 82 now, not a great age, was a Suez driver and not a very good one. She one missed her exit on a roundabout and started reversing . . .

Andrewofgg · 08/04/2018 19:26

Sorry, she would be 93 now. But the crap-driving story remains true!

IvorHughJarrs · 08/04/2018 19:43

I'm not sure GPs have that much sway on these things. My friend is a GP and told me that he had contacted the DVLA and notified them that a patient was not fit to drive but refused to accept his advice, 2 years later the patient was still driving

user1492877024 · 08/04/2018 20:01

Sorry, but I do not agree with all this ageist crap. However, I do agree with having to resit a driving test every five years. FOR ALL OF US.

Skatingfastonthinice · 08/04/2018 20:04

Agreed user, several posters have made that point already. Some of the most dangerous driving and parking I see on a daily basis is school run mothers.

pigsDOfly · 09/04/2018 10:40

I'm not so sure it's ageist. As an older woman I'm usually very quick to pick up and challenge ageist comments, which is something that happens frequently on mn, but the fact is as you get older your reactions slow, eyesight can start to fail, some people can suffer dementia. All things that can and will impact on people's ability to control a large fast moving object.

Yes, there are a lot of awful drivers around of all ages, but if they've passed their test, and unless we retest every driver on the road at frequent intervals, until they are stopped for a motoring offence there isn't a lot that can be done.

The government that brought in the idea to renew licenses at 70 did it for a reason, I assume. However, if no one monitors it and the people who, through ill health or failing sight - and that should apply to drivers of any age - are allowed to continue to drive it's pretty pointless.

I'd be more than happy to have my GP countersign my renewal when I have to renew later this year because my health and sight are fine. But if the time comes when I'm no longer in that position, I hope I'll have the sense to stop driving, for my sake as well as everyone else on the road. Some people don't and will continue to drive regardless of how much of a danger they are. There needs to be some sort of control over those people's 'right' to drive and getting to declare that they're are fit to drive is not enough.

Roomba · 09/04/2018 10:56

DVLA can make what seem like odd decisions sometime even if you do report conditions to them. I know a guy who was allowed keep his licence no problem while he was taking methadone for years. He weaned off it, was completely clean of any drugs/medication at all, notified DVLA and they suspended his licence indefinitely. He complained and had to keep providing drug screen results from his GP and drug counsellors - they eventually reinstated his licence but only temporarily to be reviewed every few months. In the meantime, he lost the job he'd held for 8 years as it involved driving.

I'm sure there was some form of logic applied by DVLA here but I'm not sure what it was...

QuiQuaiQuod · 09/04/2018 11:18

Ageism against anyone over 50 yet again.

What aboutm the boy racers? theyre are worse, thinking theyre on a Silverstone test track and wooshing along at 60 or more MPH on a 20 limit troad.

jamoncrumpets · 09/04/2018 11:19

It's not ageist to say that eyesight and reaction times both decline with age. It's fact.

GirlsBlouse17 · 09/04/2018 11:21

Experience counts too I think

MargoLovebutter · 09/04/2018 11:23

QuiQuaiQuod, they've been discussed too - if you read the thread Wink

Age and driving is an issue at both ends of the spectrum for different reasons. At the end of the day if your faculties are impaired, which can happen with illness and age & you are driving something that weighs several tonnes, you are a danger to yourself and other people.

It would be ageist to say that all older people are incapable drivers & not one person on the thread has said that - as far as I can see. This a constructive discussion about how those who are a danger due to age degeneration, could be dissuaded from driving or possibly banned.

FairfaxAikman · 09/04/2018 11:26

@GirlsBlouse17 yes but many older drivers have more experience on quieter roads

pigsDOfly · 09/04/2018 13:50

I don''t understand your last post Fairfax. Are you saying that older drivers, if they stick to quieter roads, should be allowed to go on driving regardless?

Accidents can happen on any sort of road.

StormTreader · 09/04/2018 13:52

How much experience do you really need on quieter roads? There is no half-way driving license for "just roads with no-one else on".

pigsDOfly · 09/04/2018 14:03

Exactly StormTreader. I live in a fairly rural area and some of the very quiet roads could seem to be more challenging than motorways: narrow, sharp bends, no proper kerbs, no lights etc.

I've met quite a number of older drivers who have told me they never drive after dark.

If you can't drive in all conditions surely you're not up to driving.

FairfaxAikman · 09/04/2018 14:26

@pigsDOfly what I mean is that historically roads had fewer cars, so someone who has been driving 60 years will have greater experience (and will have passed their test) on roads that were less congested. Those same roads now carry a greater volume of traffic and elderly may not have adapted to this.

pigsDOfly · 09/04/2018 14:51

Ah right. Sorry, I read it that you meant the exact opposite, no wonder it didn't make sense. Blush

Yes you're right.

FairfaxAikman · 09/04/2018 14:53

Sorry, it made sense at the time I typed it.