AIBU to ask what you do to “fill your own cup” first?

[FollowYourOwnNorthStar]

Just that really.

I’ve recently had a lightbulb moment that my job (both clients and colleagues) require a lot of emotional support from me. I was ending days feeling emotionally drained and turning down invitations on weekends, wanting to spend them by myself. I now see this was to have a rest from the emotional demands I get daily.

The second lightbulb moment was someone saying they take time each morning to meditate and “fill their own cup” first. I am struck by the idea that I could do this FIRST rather than constantly be in “recovery” mode.

Does anyone else do this? If so, what are some activities you do to “fill your own cup” first?

I’m asking about activities so I can steal the ideas btw! Meditation isn’t something I am good at, so I was hoping their might be other ideas out there that would work for me.

Yoga?

I'd say make sure you do something that you like and it's for you.
Also take some time to be with your thoughts or find someone you can talk about your own issues, even life in general.

I run, ride my bike, yoga and therapy.

It’s less ‘filling my cup first’ and more a case of survival with my mental health issues. However, if I was ‘normal’ I’m pretty sure that these would be the kinds of ‘cup filling’ activities I’d do.

I bake bread! It takes time but can be done in stages; the kneading process gets out any stress; it’s very satisfying to see the dough rising; and the end product is delicious, good for the family, and an excuse for a cup of tea.

I usually stick on a bit of nice gentle music while making it. The DC sometimes “help” or I do it as they potter about and then finish it off when they’re in bed.

It forces me to slow down and breathe for a bit. Like meditation for someone not good at meditating

I wake up early enough to have 2 undisturbed cups off coffee in bed before setting a foot on the floor. I have a hot water dispenser by my bed and it is hands down my best buy in years.

I sing very loudly in the car to and from work. I put things in the calendar to look forward to eg 5 cultural things a year. I try to go to bed at a reasonable hour.

but confusedandemployed don't you need to wee as soon as you wake up?

I have a colouring book and fancy pencils in my desk drawer - I spend a few minutes colouring when most people have their morning coffee.

I also wear a fitbit and have an hourly "reminder to move" set. If I haven't been up and about within the hour, I make a point of going for a short walk, even if it's only up to the next floor and back again.

and OP you are not alone, I too and constantly frazzled with the relentlessness of life at the moment. I go to work and work hard then home to clean and wash and childcare then eat sleep work again and round and round it goes. I feel a bit like I'm crowing just lately.

I set my alarm for half an hour earlier than my family, so 6am. I get straight out of bed and have half an hour just either thinking, jotting down thoughts/things to do or even a quick bit of knitting. Makes all the difference and I'm a lot calmer when I'm trying to get the kids out of bed!

I exercise. Means getting up earlier than I would like ideally but however much I dislike getting up I feel invigorated afterwards 🙂

I hula hoop

I'm another one who gets up at 6am so that I get some coffee and time on my own before the kids wake up.

I walk or run or go to the gym.

DH and I chuck the kids in bed early once a week and get a takeaway, and I look forward to it.

I take all the time I want to do my hair and make up; now that the kids are slightly older and don't need my attention every minute, it's a real luxury.

Podcasts!

Nothing lately and my mental health reflects it but one good technique I've used a lot in the past is called morning pages. Google it for details but the gist is three pages of stream of consciousness writing, freehand, just dumping out whatever thoughts are clogging up your mind. No one else is ever to read them so you don't worry about anything except flushing out your mental pipes.

I'm also an amateur artist so I'm always happiest when I'm giving at least a quarter of an hour most days to creativity. Easier said than done with a toddler.

Running is the best self care act a person can do!

Exercise.

Body pump and body balance.

4 classes a week.

I have a creative job which is quite nurturing, and allows me to spend time in places that I enjoy- walking in woods to take photographs, scouring second hand shops etc.

I also watch my hours- I get really burned out if it's all work.

Walking outside for at least 45 minutes a day. Even when I think I don't want to, I make myself go (or the dogs do) and I always come back feeling a million times better-even more if it's vaguely warm and sunny.

My walk to and from work is listening to my favourite Playlist as loud as possible. Depending on my mood and my day this will clear my thoughts or allow me to have stupid one sided conversations in my head to get it all out before I get to work/get home.

On weekends/days off I have to listen to at least 20 minutes of loud music a day just to relax.

I don’t do anything as sensible as exercise or meditation but I always put makeup on everyday without fail even if I’m just at home on my own. Just that 5 mins taken for that makes me feel I’ve done something for myself before I look after everyone else.

Stretching and strengthening exercises every morning. Going for half hour walk most days around town - I like to see people when I'm walking. I have quite a physical job, so I don't feel bad if I don't manage to get a walk in everyday. I listen to a radio drama at lunchtime and other radio programmes, on and off during the day - I love the radio!

Oh also I have a fairly wanky job so I think that helps

I do like to do the garden or even just Day dream sometimes.
I keep my bedroom nice and often have an afternoon lie down with a book if I don’t nap on my days off.

I sometimes find routines, even nice ones, a bit dull and flat. So when I have free time I try to choose what I want to do, at that moment.