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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

'Come and collect your present/gift'

31 replies

InspMorse · 05/04/2018 13:25

This seems to happen to me a lot...
Being asked to go and collect a gift or present someone has bought me via text or email.

Colleague at work 1 - Christmas card/present - 'Come up and get your gift InspM'
Colleague at work 2 - Bought me a small gift in return for a favour I'd done them - 'Pop down & get such and such InspM'
Friends/ DB/SIL- 'When can you come over for DS's present InspM?'

AIBU to think that if you buy someone a gift, you take it to them? and don't summon them to you.

OP posts:
Backingvocals · 05/04/2018 13:37

oh that's odd. This has never happened to me but then I'm quite grumpy so nobody buys me gifts tells me what to do.

I'd be Hmm at this if I were you.

Original poster
InspMorse · 05/04/2018 13:44

I never actually go and 'collect'! Never saw the 'gifts' from colleagues Hmm & friends/DB/SIL always give them when we next meet (sometimes weeks later). Grin

OP posts:
DanceDisaster · 05/04/2018 13:44

Oh that is a bit strange. Is it only at work? Do you sit near someone who they’re all avoiding for some reason?

Original poster
InspMorse · 05/04/2018 13:47

Dance No, I honestly think that some people just like to order other people around/ want everyone to go to them!

OP posts:
Lacucuracha · 05/04/2018 13:47

Glad to hear you don't obey. I agree the onus is on them to post or give you the gift, exceptional circumstances notwithstanding.

DanceDisaster · 05/04/2018 13:48

Very odd then.

Original poster
InspMorse · 05/04/2018 13:49

Must be just the people I know!
No, I don't obey!! I also think it's odd!

OP posts:
earlybirdhasanap · 05/04/2018 13:57

A relative did this to me with a present for my newborn. I've never gone and got it and she's never bothered to drop it round. I imagine she's regifted it now.

yawning801 · 05/04/2018 14:00

I've only done this once, when a friend's birthday was the day after a major operation. She ended up receiving it six weeks later and she had to get it because I couldn't get out of the house. However, YANBU if it's just out of sheer laziness.

Gemini69 · 05/04/2018 14:02

I've never 'collected' gifts either.. if someone wishes to give me a gift.. they know where I am.. why the hell must we go 'collect' gifts.. get a grip ... it's the height of laziness to not hand it over to the recipient... Flowers

lalaloopyhead · 05/04/2018 14:04

I think a request to collect would only really be acceptable if the giver has made multiple attempts to deliver the present to the recipient.

Very odd, I don't think I have ever had this happen to me or indeed requested anyone to do it!

TheStoic · 05/04/2018 14:05

Yeah that’s weird. What are you supposed to do, turn up and say ‘Hi, I’m here for my present?’

MrsHathaway · 05/04/2018 14:05

Isn't that what some people do when they want you to go and see them? Effectively bribe you?

I mean, it works with some people thinking of teenagers who only see "boring" elderly relatives if they think they'll come away with a nice crisp tenner so maybe?

TheJoyOfSox · 05/04/2018 14:06

I can’t say I’ve ever been asked to collect my own gift from the gift giver.

Mymouthgetsmeintrouble · 05/04/2018 14:06

Mil did this with the childrens easter presents im not collecting them , she smokes in the house so i dont want to take my children there anyway

OptimisticHamster · 05/04/2018 14:12

I've got a friend-from-work who does this. We no longer live near each other and she hates stepping outside her home town so will drop me 'I've got your gift, you must come and visit'

Which is fine - but it's every time. Pah!

BugsyMcGee · 05/04/2018 14:13

Yeah, that's odd.

It's almost as if they think you should come bouncing up like an excited puppy being offered a doggie treat or you'll be super grateful and desperate to find out what the gift bit of tat is.

MissCalamity · 05/04/2018 14:19

DP has to do this, normally left at his mum's house (or house is another 5 minutes drive away)
His family drive me mad, don't get me started on the joint birthday/Christmas present for my December born child ... Hmm

MadisonAvenue · 05/04/2018 14:20

My parents do this! Every Birthday, every Christmas, every Easter. They're a very short bus ride away but they'll only bring the gifts themselves if one of us actually suggests that we give them a lift around here. My usual response is that we'll just get whatever it is next time we're visiting.

The inability my parents have of actually doing anything under their own steam without someone else making all arrangements for them is causing me HUGE annoyance at the moment so I'll end this here before I go off on one on the OP's thread.

Astrabees · 05/04/2018 14:28

I only really noticed this year that this happens to me too. I have to drive 80 miles each to take the Christmas presents for wider family each December and yet half a dozen or so of my family drive past a motorway junction that is 1/2 mile from my house on a regular basis. Even when I get up to the area they ask me to go to their individual houses rather than leave it all at my mother's. This year they suggested my sons might like to take a day off work and come up with me!!!!! It isn't as if they want me to stay very long and all we ever get offered is a cup of tea.

LaGattaNera · 05/04/2018 14:38

A member of the family got me a birthday card for my birthday 3 months ago. Lives a 2 min drive away or presumably could have posted it. No, it's at their house still. I am never invited there. Perhaps they can use it for my birthday next year. Despite buying them Christmas & birthday presents, I don't even seem to get a card from them. Me, I'd either pop a card through the door on the day of the birthday or post it a couple of days before. It's not hard.

Original poster
InspMorse · 05/04/2018 15:41

I'm not alone after all! Grin

Yeah that’s weird. What are you supposed to do, turn up and say ‘Hi, I’m here for my present?’

This! ^

OP posts:
LittleLionMansMummy · 05/04/2018 15:46

I did this recently but in my defence it was Easter eggs and a little gift for my niece. Dsis has been illusive lately and I knew she was going away for Easter and wanted to catch her before she went, so said as Easter was only a couple of days away I'd try my best to drop it in on my way past (i work ft, she doesn't) or she could come and collect if she was over my way. She was over my way first so collected.

Lacucuracha · 05/04/2018 16:13

@LaGattaNera

Stop sending them presents!

FreshTart · 05/04/2018 16:23

Used to get this from the OutLaws when the DC were younger. It didn't matter that we had just driven over 100 miles, we would be summoned to pick up presents and I was told I was ungrateful by H if I suggested we had all had enough of the car for one day. So glad we are now NC.

It used to feel a bit uncomfortable going round to fetch presents

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