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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not think I should pay half the fine?

78 replies

Givenup43 · 05/04/2018 07:39

So last year, myself and partner went to a race and because it was so busy were directed by marshalls onto a grassy area a long way from a car park.
Last month my partner received a £50 parking ticket. He appealed as we weren't even in a car park and at every other race we always park on grass and it's never a problem and the marshall directed us there.

He is saying I have to pay half the fine as I was a passenger in his car.
AIBU is th think that is an unreasonable request??

OP posts:
BakedBeans47 · 05/04/2018 09:26

Would he have his wallet out reimbursing you £25 if it has been you who got the ticket? Somehow I doubt it.

He sounds ridiculous tbh. Either ignore it, contest it or pay it but making a demand for £25 is ridiculous

AlmostAJillSandwich · 05/04/2018 09:27

I am not a driver, i haven't had lessons (health issues and medications, i can't legally drive) so admittedly i don't know the definition or every road sign or the highway code etc.

For this reason, i wouldn't always know if something is likely to be legal or not when it comes to cars and driving. I would expect someone with a valid license to know if it was generally ok to park somewhere or not. (Obviously i know not on corners, no double yellows etc) I would be putting my trust in the driver to not park somewhere that isn't allowed an could result in a fine, in the same way i trust them to drive safely and responsibly to keep me safe and not speed etc. As such, i honestly wouldn't feel i had any responsibility to part pay for a fine if a fine was then issued, be it a speeding fine, parking fine etc, as i'm not the one operating the car and making the decisions such as the speed we're going or where it is being parked.
The fact that this was brought up as "You need to pay half of this" as a demand not a request, would also have me wanting to refuse, as i'd take offense to it. Where as, if it was brought up as a request, i'd be more likely to agree. Preferably though, i'd like to feel it was a choice to pay toward it not an expectation, veiled or blunt.

Definitely should be being contested though if this really is a fine for that occasion.

BakedBeans47 · 05/04/2018 09:28

How can you say that when you don't know if he is short of money?

That doesn’t mean it’s not his responsibility to pay it. Just because someone is skint doesn’t mean it’s ok to tell people to start paying for stuff they have no obligation to pay for. As per the CF house sitter thread also.

LovingLola · 05/04/2018 09:29

Would love to hear the op's partners version of events.

Missingstreetlife · 05/04/2018 09:31

Many ways to share money and expenses, bills, property etc. None is right or wrong, but important it is clear and all parties feel it is fair. Even with boundaries sometimes need to discuss a particular item.

Dungeondragon15 · 05/04/2018 09:32

Demanding that you pay half is ridiculous but then so is not offering/agreeing in the first place. You both sound very young and childish.

swingofthings · 05/04/2018 09:36

Would the people paying half also pay half if he was speeding?
That happened to me! We went away somewhere we'd never been for the week-end. DP was driving except after we went out to eat as he enjoyed a few drinks. I therefore drove back the hotel, but as we on a country road, I asked if it was a 30 or 40m/h area. He said he was sure but looked like a 40m/h. A second later, I got flashed for going 35 in what turned out to be a 30 area.

Because it was his car, the ticket went to him. He wrote to say it was me driving (rightly so) but said he would pay half. I certainly would have done the same the other way around.

WhatATimeToBeAlive · 05/04/2018 09:37

I would take it up with event organisers as they directed you to park there.

peacheachpearplum · 05/04/2018 09:39

That doesn’t mean it’s not his responsibility to pay it. Just because someone is skint doesn’t mean it’s ok to tell people to start paying for stuff they have no obligation to pay for. As per the CF house sitter thread also. I wasn't talking about obligations I was talking about calling him a tight fuck. Someone people wouldn't eat for the rest of the month if they suddenly had to pay £50. It wouldn't make him tight fuck in my opinion if this caused a crisis and I would think the OP would be the tight fuck if she could easily afford it and wouldn't help him. Context is everything.

Mrsmadevans · 05/04/2018 09:40

Tell him to go and play with himself.

Dungeondragon15 · 05/04/2018 09:43

Would the people paying half also pay half if he was speeding?

If I was in the car I might do depending on the circumstances. DH paid half of my fine many years ago.

SquishySquirmy · 05/04/2018 09:50

www.moneysavingexpert.com/reclaim/private-parking-tickets/

I think you should both read this link, before deciding whether or not to pay the fine at all!

Some parking fines are enforceable, others aren't....

blueskyinmarch · 05/04/2018 13:47

Have you seen a copy of the letter? Is all seems a bit dodgy to me.

43percentburnt · 05/04/2018 13:52

Research the type of ticket. If it’s from last year and there was no signage and not council issued they may not have issued it correctly. Start with money saving expert. There is a company that explain the rules and if you can’t be arsed to do it yourself will look to get you off for about £12.

www.parkingcowboys.co.uk

Catspaws · 05/04/2018 13:54

I can't imagine being in a relationship with someone where you had to quibble over £25

peacheachpearplum · 05/04/2018 13:56

Catspaws depends how much money you have. I wouldn't quibble over £25 now but there have been times in my when I would if it meant food on the table for my kids or going hungry.

TroubledLichen · 05/04/2018 14:09

This makes no sense whatsoever... the race was last year but you’ve only just received a penalty charge notice in the post now? I can’t remember the exact time limit but companies can’t just send you a notice months later, I think they have 28 days or something like that... Then you were on private land, were directed by marshals and presumably what with it being a field there weren’t any signs say you couldn’t park there. Have you actually seen the fine as this really doesn’t sound believable in the slightest?! If the penalty charge notice does exist then definitely don’t pay it, do your research but based on what you’ve described they won’t have a leg to stand on.

But god, how exhausting to be with someone where you are quibbling over £25. You both sound cheap, you for not offering straight up and him for stropping over it so I suppose you have that in common.

Nesssie · 05/04/2018 14:31

I honestly can't believe you won't pay half??

You both went to the event, in the same car, and got a ticket. It could just have easily been you driving and getting the ticket.
As both the driver or passenger I would have thought the logical and fair thing is to pay half each. But it should really come out of your joint 'kitty'.

Its not like a speeding ticket which would be his own fault and therefore his responsibility. It was a joint day out.

YABVU

Quietlife1979 · 05/04/2018 14:33

How long have you been with him? Shock

Tell him to get lost and dump him

Original poster
Givenup43 · 05/04/2018 16:16

If it were my ticket then is no chance in he'll he'd offer to pay half!!

OP posts:
Thebluedog · 05/04/2018 16:20

He should firstly contest it.

But if it still stands, I’d offer to pay half. He’s your dp, it’s a pain, that he’s got the fine, but it’s neither of your fault. By refusing it’s a ‘fuck you’ to him. You’ll be on here in a couple of months asking AIBU to be pissed at my dp because he won’t drive anywhere. And I wouldn’t say I’d blame him either.

UpstartCrow · 05/04/2018 16:20

It sounds like a scam.

Thebluedog · 05/04/2018 16:22

Would the people paying half also pay half if he was speeding?

What a stupid comparison Confused of course you’d not pay half a speeding fine. That’s like comparing apples to oranges

Butterymuffin · 05/04/2018 16:25

As ever, if you generally acted as a team with regard to finances then sure, split the fine. But the tone of what he's saying (as you've reported it) and the background suggest this is an attitude problem of his. What is the rest of your financial set up like? Do you split household costs equally, who earns more, all that?

purplecorkheart · 05/04/2018 16:32

I would pay half the fine but only after he contests it and also contacts the organisers of the event. Seems crazy that people are being fined for parking where the stewards(unless voluntary) directed them.