AIBU to think it's MY choice when to start maternity leave?

[Zoidbergy09]

NC for this.
Just discussed maternity leave with work. Agreed with HR that I need to use up as much holiday as possible between now and then. I said because of this I will use a weeks holiday before officially starting my maternity leave, and that I will discuss shorter weeks with my boss leading up to this.
Booked the holiday on our online system and my boss is now in a foul mood, saying "well you can't have holiday then because EmployeeB has already got holiday booked for then, can't have both of you off at the same time".
To which I replied that I had to start my maternity leave sometime, and Boss just sat there grumbling about how difficult it's going to be.

For what its worth EmployeeB has only joined in the past month, and already had their holiday booked before signing the contract to work here!

AIBU to be really pissed off at how this is being handled and how it's making me feel?
It's not like I can delay giving birth ffs.

Anyone else had sh*tty experiences with work whilst pregnant?

you've obviously never taught then, I was on my feet all day!

I’ve never taught, but I, like most of us have been to school. Have they done away with the teacher’s desk and chair?

Yes there is potential to lose it @TittyGolightly, depending on how much you have/annual leave end of year/your employers policy etc. especially as you keep accruing while on mat leave.

"If you are unable to take all your annual leave in the leave year because of absence on maternity leave, shared parental leave or other types of parental leave, the government advises that employers should allow you to carry forward up to 28 days statutory leave to the next leave year. The government intends to amend the Working Time Regulations to allow 28 days to be carried forward if a parent cannot take it, see www.gov.uk/holiday-entitlement-rights/calculate-leave-entitlement.

If your employer offers more than the statutory minimum of 28 days annual leave, it is up to your employer how much of your contractual annual leave you can carry forward so you should check your contract or talk to your employer."

www.maternityaction.org.uk/advice-2/mums-dads-scenarios/pregnant/discrimination-during-maternity-leave-and-on-return-to-work/

Also some people suggested a reason why it might be preferable for OPs employer if she took mat leave earlier, but we've no idea if that is true.

She hasn't been denied permission for leave. The boss just grumbled! If it's actually denied then do something like start mat leave earlier/talk to HR. Otherwise a grump is just a grump!

OP was complaining about the attitude and making her feel guilty, which I don't think she needs to feel.

I have worked in a school, I'm well aware of teachers roles. When you list manual jobs/labour, teaching, whilst extremely stressful, isn't one of them. Sorry.

Not taken, I have a chair and desk. I use it to take the register.
Teaching now is obviously very different to when you were at school.

If you were pregnant in a manual/labouring job then a full risk assessment would be done and lighter duties implemented.

Teaching isn't 'manual' but I am on my feet 99% of the day. Average step count is over 8k by 11am. When pregnant that is bloody hard work.

I have colleagues who worked til they dropped, and those who needed to take their mat leaves from 12-20 weeks. The managers were always, always supportive. A good organisation drives the attitude of it’s managers; strongly suggest you look for another job when your mat leave is finished.

When pregnant that is bloody hard work.

Maybe you should have started your mat leave earlier, no?

No way, as I said above I was bored after 3 weeks! Give me a room full of teenagers any day.

Can’t have been that bad then, surely.

If you are starting mat leave 2 weeks before due date, could you take the holidays at the end of maternity leave (not sure if that's possible) and then you would have more time at the end.

Comments on how other women cope with their pregnancies never cease to amaze me. We are all individuals and our pregnancies are unique to us regardless of what jobs we do or don’t do. I’ve known women who have worked up to the day of birth - given birth and then were back at work within two weeks. Likewise I’ve known women who were throwing up their entire pregnancies, their hips have been displaced and they were on crutches...had difficult births / womb infections and the list goes on. What is right for one pregnant woman is not necessarily right for another preganant woman. I think we would all agree we know our own bodies better than anyone - so can we just respect other people’s decisions about making choices that was best for them at the time when they took maternity leave without judging them? At the end of the day - all any mother wants is to have a healthy baby/s - and it’s natural that some women need or want a longer maternity leave than other women.

I went on maternity leave 8 weeks before she was due. I used holidays though so the 3 weeks before I was only in 2 days a week.

I was in a volatile role though and standing for 8 hours a day so I couldn't have went on

I was off for 10 weeks prior birth too - best two months of my life! Why would anyone be bored? Work isn’t my life.

I wouldn’t be bored finishing work for ten weeks even if I weren’t pregnant. The pp who can’t imagine how a heavily pregnant woman could fill ten weeks must be a very boring person!

oo wow, lots of responses.

Boss hasn't denied the annual leave, just grumbled and complained about it. As far as I'm aware they haven't even started to organise cover for me during maternity leave. I help recruit too so I would know.

If the annual leave was denied then of course I could just start maternity leave for the date I had planned to take annual leave from, she can't say no to maternity leave.

With my first DC I worked up until 6 hours before my due date, on my feet day in day out, running plates of hot food up a steep hill to customers in the middle of summer. Current job is now an office job so much less stressful, though I've had an awful pregnancy so far and dipped in and out of hospital.
I can't wait to finish 3 weeks before my due date- I thought this was early but seeing some responses reassures me its fine!

I have worried that I'll be bored for that 3 weeks- but to be honest I think I'll enjoy the chance to rest!

HR advised me to use up as much holiday before I go on maternity leave- so I will follow their advice- even if it puts my boss in a grump. On the plus side I've only got to put up with that grump for a few more months

To be fair though op, the boss might have a hidden disability, or something else going on that is making them grumpy. It is possible it has little or nothing to do with your request.

@NotTakenUsername
Fair points there- though if she does have a hidden disability it's damn well hidden- I've known her for years as a customer before working for her.
Being a boss doesn't mean its acceptable to take your bad mood out on anyone you choose though!

HR advised me to use up as much holiday before I go on maternity leave- so I will follow their advice

That’s standard HR advice. They probably won’t have considered the actual impact of that on your team/manager.

@TittyGolightly
Aware of that, but I won't be working when it gets to 3 weeks before my due date- regardless of whether or not its maternity leave or annual leave I'll be using.
PP have said it could be because she can't organise maternity cover until I start mat leave- this isn't the case- because both dates fall within the same calendar month it's completely irrelevant- that's just how the company runs its bills.

Name change fail?

I live in Ireland so not 100% how it works in UK but we get 26 weeks paid maternity leave (paid by welfare or employer if you're lucky) and 16 weeks unpaid. This is statutory so no employer can stop you taking any of this. As far as I know you can start maternity leave when you want but you can not work less then 2 weeks before your due date (some people lie about due dates so they can work nearer their date and have the time after with baby).

If your company needs you to take some of your A/L before your maternity leave kicks in it doesn't leave you with a huge amount of time or options to play with. Could you work with your boss on when is convenient for you to take your leave? If there is no convenient time could they pay you for it instead? You can of course start your maternity leave when you want but I would always work with my employer on this to find what suits both best. Of course nothing ever goes to plan when babies are concerned and there is always the risk that you get signed off towards the end anyway if the pregnancy is tough.