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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Right so wtaf happened here then- v.confused

44 replies

Wishfulmakeupping · 03/04/2018 19:13

Will summarise as much as possIble had posted about the situation before...
Moved to newbuild development quite clique- wine nights etc some big personalities but held my tongue was nice to everyone but kept myself myself.
Another family moved onto estate the rest wine group weren’t very welcoming towards her she wasn’t invited to the nights and on the WhatsApp group they were slating her so i stood up for her and told them that were behaving quite nasty. That was me out of the group- fine as they’d shown they weren’t my cup of tea.
Now obviously I’ve never told the new lady what was said- I never would. They’ve adopted the new lady all friendly with her.
I just feel odd I don’t want be friends with them but I feel like I’m Public enemy no 1 for sticking up for someone- urgh do not get bitchy behaviour:(
Am I just too nice for my own good ?!

OP posts:
PlasticWatch · 03/04/2018 19:15

Fuck em. And new lady will soon realise as well.

BaldricksTrousers · 03/04/2018 19:15

They sound like a dreadful bunch who never grew up to move beyond the primary school playground! You are well rid.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 03/04/2018 19:15

I wouldn’t take it under your notice. It only bothers you if you actually want to be allowed into the fold. But why would you? So it shouldn’t bothered you.

Original poster
Wishfulmakeupping · 03/04/2018 19:25

It’s not so much I want to be friends with them- I don’t but I do feel awkward now that we’re essentially the odd ones out on the street.
Also that that lady doesn’t know what a bunch of cows they are but I’m sure they’ll reveal themselves pretty quickly.

OP posts:
Original poster
Wishfulmakeupping · 03/04/2018 19:32

They aren’t the nicest no baldrick but is it me...I’m the common denominator they all get along fine

OP posts:
ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 03/04/2018 19:34

Seriously, stop caring.

ElderflowerWaterIsDelish · 03/04/2018 19:38

Even though you are blocked from the WhatsApp group can you still access the messages from before you were blocked?..if so screenshot them and show them to her so she can see these so called friends true colours...

Viviennemary · 03/04/2018 19:49

This sounds really like a book I read last year and now I can't remember what it was called. But can you not just make friends with one or two of the group and ask them round for coffee rather than feel you have to be part of this group.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 03/04/2018 19:49

Good Lord, they sound awful. Don't waste a moment of your life thinking/caring about it.

Don't get involved, avoid, etc. Sounds like a recipe for pointless, pathetic, immature drama.

ReanimatedSGB · 03/04/2018 19:50

FFS Elderflower that's awful advice. OP. cultivate friends elsewhere and ignore these silly twats. Don't get involved in petty score settling.

Original poster
Wishfulmakeupping · 03/04/2018 19:50

I really need to Zibberdoo!
I wouldn’t do that- they are quite hurtful personal things about her that were said I wouldn’t want to know myself if people said that about me - there’s no way I’d do that to someone else.

OP posts:
Aprilmightmemynewname · 03/04/2018 19:54

Last time I lived on a new build development there were 8 couples in a swinging club.
All came out when a dw moved away with a dh!
You are really best off not involved op!
(unless that's your scene!! Wink)

MamosianAntiMatterChopsticks · 03/04/2018 19:58

Ugh, I hate people like this. I'd be happy to be an outcast so I could get on with my life without having to deal with this kind of drama and nastiness. Juvenile behaviour that I can't be arsed to participate in. And I'd have stuck up for the new neighbour too as I can't stand bullying and sheer two-facedness. They've only befriended the new neighbour to piss you off. Don't rise to it. Ignore it all and get on with your own life. You're well out of this nasty little clique.

LemonysSnicket · 03/04/2018 20:02

A group will always bond over shunning one person. If someone is on the outside then they are on the inside. If there is a group of outsiders it becomes less powerful because then it’s another tribe rather than someone they have ousted. They’ve adopted her so that you don’t join together and make them feel less superior.
It’s shit but it happens in high school most clearly - adults hide it better but I’ve seen it at Unis, workplaces, even parties.

kimanda · 03/04/2018 20:03

You have been WENDIED. Sort of!

They sound like a bunch of nasty cunts.

i would move to be honest. They sound manipulative and cunning and vile.

I am so sorry for you. Hope you are ok soon.

DropItLikeASquat · 03/04/2018 20:09

this sounds horrible. I would just chalk it up to experience, be nice when you see her and them so u are the bigger person and get on with your life. Its better to be excluded and not be a bitch imho.

ZibbidooZibbidooZibbidoo · 03/04/2018 20:10

Do people really form little high school girl cliques in the streets/estates where they live? I don’t have any of my neighbours in for coffee. I smile and say “hello” when we see each other. The odd word about the weather or traffic. That’s it. Nobody gossiping or bitching. Not that I know of which is how I like it.

VladmirsPoutine · 03/04/2018 20:13

How do they have time for all this drama and wine nights? Don't they have jobs/children/ other lives? It all sounds like rather immature students living in halls Confused

Original poster
Wishfulmakeupping · 03/04/2018 20:14

I’ve never known neighbours to be so involved with each other it is a small development and most moved into the village so only know each other whereas I grew up here so have friends from the area.
Think you’re right squat I had to speak up even if it’s made me hugely unpopular! Just will be awkward in the summer especially it was bbq central round here last year guessing we won’t be inundated with invites from them now 😂

OP posts:
EphraimLevi · 03/04/2018 20:16

Sounds like my estate. I don’t bother with them now after realising they were slagging me off as much as each other (if you see what I mean). Just not worth it. They’re only neighbours and you really don’t have to have anything to do with them apart from a cheery hello as you put the bins out in your pyjamas (that may be just me...)

EphraimLevi · 03/04/2018 20:16

Same, new build, small estate, all incomers to the village.

Ooh, I wonder if we are neighbours...?

Eatsleepworkrepeat · 03/04/2018 20:19

Jesus the dramas that are going to happen in your street - bffs falling out, affairs, you name it. You're best off out of it, watching from behind the net curtains!

AcrossthePond55 · 03/04/2018 20:38

There are often nasty groups who simply must have an 'odd man out'. They aren't happy unless they're excluding someone. It was the new person, now it's you. And before you and her it was probably someone else, and someone else before them.

Ignore them. I'm sure their little clique is full of drama, backbiting, and shifting mini-cliques within cliques. Eventually you'll run into all the others who have been 'cast unto the utter darkness' by them and you'll make friends with them.

sparklepops123 · 03/04/2018 20:41

How ridiculous it’s like school. Be grateful your out of it - they’ll all be slagging each other off anyway and you get the joy of not being involved

feelingfree17 · 03/04/2018 20:49

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