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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Right so wtaf happened here then- v.confused

44 replies

Wishfulmakeupping · 03/04/2018 19:13

Will summarise as much as possIble had posted about the situation before...
Moved to newbuild development quite clique- wine nights etc some big personalities but held my tongue was nice to everyone but kept myself myself.
Another family moved onto estate the rest wine group weren’t very welcoming towards her she wasn’t invited to the nights and on the WhatsApp group they were slating her so i stood up for her and told them that were behaving quite nasty. That was me out of the group- fine as they’d shown they weren’t my cup of tea.
Now obviously I’ve never told the new lady what was said- I never would. They’ve adopted the new lady all friendly with her.
I just feel odd I don’t want be friends with them but I feel like I’m Public enemy no 1 for sticking up for someone- urgh do not get bitchy behaviour:(
Am I just too nice for my own good ?!

OP posts:

YourWanMajella · 03/04/2018 20:51

Am I just too nice for my own good

I very much doubt it. I also doubt anyone else involved in this would see it in the same way as you do

PositiveProton · 03/04/2018 20:52

If I were you I would be so glad to not be a associated with such morons. Their bitterness will one day shrivel them up.
You don't need friends like them, don't give them a second thought because remember, something only has power over you if you give it your attention.

Original poster

Wishfulmakeupping · 03/04/2018 20:55

They probably would wan their behaviour and horrendous things they were saying was obviously fine by them so for me to pull them up on it must have made me seem completely alien by comparison. Like I say it wasn’t a popular decision but couldn’t stand by and not stand up for the new woman who had done bugger all wrong.

OP posts:

SusanneLinder · 03/04/2018 20:57

Its like new build estate version of Mean Girls! Refer to them as "the Plastics" and ignore them OP.
Smile and Wave at them.

Paperdolly · 03/04/2018 23:46

Last time I lived on a new build development there were 8 couples in a swinging club.
All came out when a dw moved away with a dh!
You are really best off not involved op!
(unless that's your scene!!

Look for the pampas grass in the front garden 😂

Original poster

Wishfulmakeupping · 04/04/2018 07:06

😂

OP posts:

gamerwidow · 04/04/2018 07:25

New neighbour will find out about these people herself. In the meantime consider yourself to have had a lucky escape. Better to be outside than inside a group like this.

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 04/04/2018 07:47

You might not think so right now, but you've had a really lucky, and relatively easy escape there. Big cliques like this, always attract drama, fall outs etc., far better to be on the outside looking in.
You'll be fine, if you allow yourself. 🌸

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 04/04/2018 07:54

Agree with Sugar. Be thankful you're out of it all now. Sounds hideous.

londonrach · 04/04/2018 07:57

Ive just quietly left a whatsapp group for same reason. Went very quiet for several months then something was posted on fb. I just quietly removed myself. Doubt they noticed. Yanbu. The new lady will find out soon.

IfyouseeRitaMoreno · 04/04/2018 08:05

They sound awful. It sounds like their move to invite her into their group is a strategic one.

They are trying to negate your accusations of foul play by saying “look we ARE nice to her” whilst simultaneously making sure the two of you don’t get together and swap stories together.

Probably not consciously but that is what they’re doing.

piercinggelo · 04/04/2018 08:22

This whole idea of being friends with people simply because you live near them really baffles me.

This is something I wouldn't give another thought to.

Original poster

Wishfulmakeupping · 04/04/2018 09:59

Your take on it ‘Rita’ makes a lot of sense.
And me being an ‘outsider’ think there was always going to be one so I stepped into that position by disagreeing with them- it does feel awkward but talking it through on here and friends it’s better it happened sooner rather than later.
Thanks all 👍

OP posts:

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 04/04/2018 10:04

I would move who wants to live around docks like that.

Original poster

Wishfulmakeupping · 04/04/2018 10:33

For many more reasons than them I’m pushing for a move but it will be at least 2 years until we can move. But they come down a long list of reasons this wasn’t a great choice to move to but it will sell hopefully we’ll when the time comes as it ‘looks’ like a nice place to live.

OP posts:

Original poster

Wishfulmakeupping · 04/04/2018 10:35

Sell hopefully ‘well’ that should be!

OP posts:

TenancyTroublesAgain · 04/04/2018 10:57

Is your new build ... Inside a playground?

Original poster

Wishfulmakeupping · 04/04/2018 12:30

You’d think so wouldn’t you...

OP posts:

Aprilmightmemynewname · 04/04/2018 16:48

Shit - Pampas grass - really? The really snooty neighbours had some - does this mean they were entwined also?? She was always shouting at my dd to go around it for fear of it being trampled!

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