AIBU to deny DH his leisure time?

[Espastar]

Heavily pregnant, have one 2 y/o DC. DH is currently finishing off a fairly large house project which he is completing alone. We are very much behind schedule and baby is due within few short weeks, baby's room is non-existant. Have barely bought any of what we need due to limited space as there are tools/ wood everywhere.
I am taking care of DC alone much of the time, however I'm now exhausted, struggling with some pregnancy related issues and feel I need help with DC and a break!! My parents are unable to help as they live too far away.
There is no time for leisure or catching up with friends or atleast very little time. Both DH and I work, I have not gone on ML yet. We now have a week off together and I want to get everything complete before baby's arrival.
DH has a few hobbies which he is frustrated at not having time to do at present. I have no time for hobbies either as taking care of DC whilst DH completes the project.
DH spent an afternoon doing his hobby at the weekend whilst I took care of DC single-handedly again. Did bedtime/bath time routine/cooked dinner/ cleared up etc whilst DH was out. He's now asking for another afternoon this week. Im drained and exhausted. I never tell him no. But have said "I feel I'm looking after DC single-handedly a lot and I.find it so much easier when there's 2 of us. Im drained and need a break" DH then asked me to list every occasion and justify the way I'm feeling whilst also arguing how little down time he's had lately.
I've had very little too! He even tried pointing out that visiting my Gran in hospital classed as my downtime and furniture shopping. Im completely exhausted. Going to bed v early etc and DH is still managing his usual late nights,it's quite clear that I'm not coping with this single parenting so often. I find it so much easier when DH is around to help and my own jobs have been pushed to one side as this project takes precedent. Im trying to plan and prepare for baby too with no help. I have denied DH this extra hobby time he's asked for and I feel guilty and unreasonable yet upset and angry that he's made me justify why I don't want another afternoon/day whatever solely taking care of DC, particularly when there is so much to do before baby arrives. Me having some rest and down time is the least of his priorities and he seems only bothered about his lack of hobby time.

There is actually nowhere for baby to sleep at present. I'm sleeping in DCs room whilst work is being finished. The work has to be complete before baby arrives.

Could you go and stay with your parents for a few days/a week? Or rent an air bnb locally and have your parents come and stay with you? From the tone of your messages I get the feeling you just need a break from it all.

I know that won't help with getting things ready but it will give your DH a period of time in which to do stuff without interruption. Perhaps you could agree that if certain jobs remain incomplete after that time frame they will be outsourced?

mumsnetters - you gotta love them!

Are you perchance posting from South Africa, 5plusMeAndHim?

OP, I think you need to give your DH a deadline to have the work complete, and tell him that you'll get in professionals to finish it if it's not done by then. I agree that technically you would get by with just a few basics and a box for baby to sleep in, but no-one wants to feel like they're living rough in their own home.

Also agree that you need to say "I don't give a stuff about what your mate Bob thinks, it's what I think that matters". Be firm!

Why can't you buy stuff without his approval?

Can you fit a Moses basket in the DC's room?

Why should OP struggle and live in chaos or move out because her DH is too much of a "perfectionist" to outsource work? He either needs to give up his leisure time or get more realistic and employ others to do the work,

I think there are more issues with control in your relationship than this one thing

he seems to think of himself as in charge - why is that

God, why do women tie themselves to this kind of man?

He makes all the decisions, he refuses to let OP buy things without his permission, he insists that all DIY is done slowly and tediously by him and that his wife does the majority of child care so that he can do his hobby.

Why honestly would you get pregnant twice with someone who doesn’t treat you like an equal partner in your marriage or home?

And why, having done that do you expect things to ever change?

Buy the baby stuff and hire a carpenter to complete the job. Oh, no you can’t because the man has put his foot down.

Seriously, why?

You're heavily pregnant with a 2 year old and he asked you to justify why you're tired? Really? That's pretty bad

not heavily pregnant with a two year old, that would be very odd

*You're heavily pregnant and looking after a two year old

Why not start getting people around to do quotes OP? It's your house as much as your DH's so why does he get to decide when and who will finish the projects that need doing?

I think having to justify the way you feel is the kicker. Fuck that you feel exhausted you want more support, that should be good enough. Or if you turned around and asked him to justify why his hobby is so important that it out ranks his unborn child, toddler and wife would that be received well? Tell him to pull his head in and outsource the DIY if he wants his hobby time. He should get a new hobby, putting his family first.