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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think we have waited long enough?!?

53 replies

desperatetomove · 03/04/2018 14:06

Have name changed! Put an offer in on a house at the beginning of January, still not had the offer accepted!! The house they were buying fell through so understandably they had to find a new house, this has happened 4 times now, each time the estate agent has told us they are under negotiations and that we can start proceedings soon, then nothing. I don't know what to do, I call the agent weekly and there is no update, aibu to think we should have got somewhere and had our offer accepted in three months?? We thought we would have moved by now, what can I do?

OP posts:

DearTeddyRobinson · 03/04/2018 15:19

Tell them you are considering amending your original offer in light of the slowing housing market.
If they want to go with your original offer they need to get moving otherwise it will be null & void by close of business Friday and the new, lower offer will be made.

montenotte · 03/04/2018 15:20

It's quite simple really even though you don't like it...

They just haven't found a house to buy. They may never find another house to buy and could sit on your offer indefinitely. Or they may find one tomorrow.
if you really want the house then i'd just leave the offer standing. if you are keen to get moving then you need to find another house, it doesn't mean you have to give them an ultimatum. You might find something you prefer and then can withdraw your offer, or you might not...

An offer isn't binding on either party.

Chickoletta · 03/04/2018 15:22

Give them a timescale and tell them that you'll pull out by that date if they don't accept. When we were in a similar position to your vendors we sold and moved into a rented house in the short term so that we didn't lose our buyers. You are in a strong position as first time buyers so ask the agent to put some pressure on them. Good luck!

Original poster

desperatetomove · 03/04/2018 16:09

In England yes, and the offer has been accepted verbally, but they can't formally accept as they don't have a house to buy is what we were told. I believe when an offer is formally accepted then you get an email saying so, and the next steps to take ie. instructing solicitors. I have no idea why there is a sold sign up, it's is just sold, not sold stc which is bizarre. They said when we first put the offer in they would not accept any further viewings, but might get someone else to call and see what they say. I don't know what I can do if anything at all. Just hugely frustrated and want to get going and we can't. Am glad to see it's not normal for this to happen though

OP posts:

Original poster

desperatetomove · 03/04/2018 16:10

Am worried about giving an ultimatum and then having to withdraw when nothing changes. I don't know how long I should wait. The estate agents are getting hugely hacked off with me calling all the time hassling then

OP posts:

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 03/04/2018 16:30

I believe when an offer is formally accepted then you get an email saying so
yes, but it doesn't make any difference. At least you are not spending money on a sale that is not guaranteed.

Keep looking for something else. At worst, you don't find anything - which is unlikely, and the owners of house A might wake up one day.

Unfortunately, in England there is absolutely nothing you can do. You can remove your offer, but that won't make any difference anyway.

chattykathyblue100 · 03/04/2018 16:34

it sounds like they have accepted your offer but aren't allowing you to proceed until they find a house themselves, which is reasonable, you don't want to shell out money unnecessarily. If it's the house you really want and you can't find another then there's no point in giving them an ultimatum, you'll just have to wait but keep looking. Perhaps do as another person suggested and ask for a second viewing so you can have a friendly chat with them. They might be trying really hard (or the opposite) but at least you'd have an idea of what's going on. Don't worry about hacking the EA off - it's their job! Good luck, it's such a stressful time.

Lostinspace84 · 03/04/2018 16:34

We had something similar when they apparently couldn't find a house they liked to buy.... so although our offer was accepted, they just sat on it for 4 months. In the end wee found another house and withdrew our offer....and those people never did move out of their house and took it off the market. Complete time wasters!

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 03/04/2018 16:41

I have come across people who’ve ‘sold’ their house then said they never found anywhere they liked and changed their mind. Sometimes it’s unfortunate, but sometimes they are just messing people around.
Personally I would be inclined to tell the agent that actually you need to get moving and as they don’t seem to be in any hurry you are looking elsewhere and you will leave your offer on the table until/unless you find something else at which point you will withdraw. (So you are indicating if they want you to buy then they’d best get their skates on). You may find something better, you never know..

Fluffycloudland77 · 03/04/2018 16:48

Their mugging you off, what's to stop them selling and going into rented for 6 months?.

Tinkobell · 03/04/2018 16:52

Look elsewhere. There'll be a nicer house round the corner. A big part of any purchase is the sellers genuine intent to sell....if it ain't there, forget it. Let it go & move on.

Buglife · 03/04/2018 16:52

I thought we’d have this with our vendor, she hadn’t found anywhere when we offered, but then two weeks after we sold and she accepted our offer the estate agent told her our buyers had a deadline of July to move or the whole chain would collapse and she has decided to vacate and stay with family/rent until she finds somewhere... she doesn’t want to rush into a house nor lose us as buyers (we were her only offer in 5 months).

Saying that, as she accepted our offer and the house was sold STC we had started proceeding with solicitors etc, and had a survey arranged. The estate agent asked for our solicitors info and mortgage etc as soon as offer was accepted regardless of the fact she hadn’t found anywhere. So I’d guess your sellers are dragging their heels. I’d get out of this, you’ll get nowhere.

GlitteryPoop · 03/04/2018 16:54

They should rent/housesit/airbnb. They sound like time wasters. Does your mortgage offer expire?

supersop60 · 03/04/2018 17:00

When my house purchase rumbled on for 5 months, the solicitor suggested that I threaten to pull out.(I was 1st time buyer at the bottom of the chain) Lo and behold - all done in 3 weeks!

auntpoll · 03/04/2018 17:00

We had this a few years ago - we couldn't complete our chain because the vendors said that they were being messed around by their vendors.

After a couple of months the house next door but one to the one we wanted to
buy came on the market, we viewed it and loved it so withdrew our offer and offered on this one.

We've been here 6 years now and guess what? Our next door but one neighbours are STILL living there despite putting a For Sale board up every now and then!

Some people love the idea of moving but get cold feet when it starts to become a reality. They need shaking up and if you don't get that house I promise you will find an even better one!

GnotherGnu · 03/04/2018 17:02

I don't know how long I should wait

Isn't that a bit of a no-brainer? Surely you wait precisely as long as it takes to find an alternative, or until you decided to give up on the whole idea for now.

Doublechocolatetiffin · 03/04/2018 17:03

It’s a bit of a frustrating situation, it sounds like they have accepted your offer, but that they don’t want to do anything until they have found a house for themselves. Fair enough, but they can’t expect you to wait for ever.

If it were me I’d be honest and say to the estate agents that you are happy to leave your offer on the table because you do want to buy the house, but that you are going to continue looking at other properties because of the extensive delay on this one. Then book a few viewings with different houses that the estate agent has on its books. That’ll focus their minds on the fact that they might lose you as buyers if they don’t get on with things. Keep looking at anything that comes on the market and if you see something better then you can offer on that instead.

winobaglady · 03/04/2018 17:11

Will you have a mortgage? It's worth remembering that often a mortgage offer is usually only video for 6 months.
Check your offer

KitKat1985 · 03/04/2018 17:13

Can you contact the estate agent and get them to ask the vendors to consider going into rented? 3 months is a long time to keep you waiting, and I have a suspicion that is they haven't found anything suitable in 3 months then they are probably being overly picky or completely unrealistic as to what they can afford on their budget.

SlothMama · 03/04/2018 17:20

It's time to move on OP, the house I'm buying was in the same position the sellers haven't found somewhere yet but I can still proceed and they've formally accepted our offer....

Joey7t8 · 03/04/2018 17:51

Nothing you can do. They’re under no obligation to sell you their house if they can’t find somewhere that they want to move to.

At least they’re not wasting your money by allowing your to instruct solicitors to start conveyancing procedures.

Bluelady · 03/04/2018 17:57

We had the same thing. Offer at asking price, survey done, mortgage in place and the vendor refused to exchange. We gave them an ultimatum - exchange by x date and completion by y date. It was brinkmanship but it got them moving. I think they moved in with parents in the end.

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 03/04/2018 17:57

Don't lose all hope though, do keep looking for something else.
My current house was on the market for more than 3 years (and in this area they get snapped within a month at the very least). The vendors lost 3 or 4 sales because they were too slow to find their "dream home". They did find it after they accepted our offer, and we got the house. It took 8 weeks from offer to completion, so sometimes you do get lucky.

MaverickSnoopy · 03/04/2018 18:06

I think you should gauge the situation by getting a friend to show interest in the property, phone up the agent and see what they say. Then if they're putting other offers forwards you will know where you stand at least.

Original poster

desperatetomove · 03/04/2018 21:17

I have spoken to the estate agent today and told him I am not happy to wait much longer, my tenancy is up on my rented house in the next few months and I don't want to renew it so they need to get serious about looking if that's what they are planning and if not to tell me and I will withdraw my offer. He said he showed her another house at the weekend which she seemed very keen on and he was waiting for her feedback on that. I asked him to call her and get an update now. Hopefully it's gives them a kick up the bum?

OP posts:

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