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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hiding Toiletries..

32 replies

ohh · 03/04/2018 13:09

AIBU to hide my expensive skincare and get cross whenever DD uses it without asking? I have specialised skincare due to Rosacea and its not cheap, yet DD 'borrows' it ! Angry

DD denies it as well, even though find it in her room or not where I put.
Often find my make up in her room as well.. Has plenty of her own. I wouldn't mind ironically if she asked about the make up or skincare.. Would not share but buy her similar.

I know we all borrowed mums make up as teenagers but have explained about my skin and the cost to look after it and please don't use it as you don't need it.

OP posts:
ferntwist · 03/04/2018 13:15

YANBU that’s really cheeky! DD is not going to get away with doing that once she’s at uni or house-sharing. She needs to respect your boundaries. How old is she?

TheRoadLessRocky · 03/04/2018 13:18

Do you buy her stuff? I'd be tempted to securely hide my stuff away, and either stop buying her nice stuff or buy basics brands only.

MsVestibule · 03/04/2018 13:18

I'd be locking them in a tin and keeping the key on a chain around my neck.

honeysucklejasmine · 03/04/2018 13:20

I'd say borrow hers right back but I guess you can't due to your skin. Have you ever sat her down to discuss it, it is it only ever a quick telling off whilst you retrieve it?

abigailsnan · 03/04/2018 13:20

I would use an overnight case and lock it just don't forget where you have hidden it.

LeighaJ · 03/04/2018 13:22

I'd hide it.

I've had to buy expensive products before for my skin issues and would be pissed off if someone else helped themselves to it, especially knowing I needed it for skin issues they don't have.

I had to hide my shaving razors and deodorant sticks as a teen because my sister and Mom were both butthurt that I considered it unsanitary to share them. Hmm

PoppyCracker · 03/04/2018 13:33

Buy some for her if she likes it that much.

TheViceOfReason · 03/04/2018 13:36

PoppyCracker Tue 03-Apr-18 13:33:06
Buy some for her if she likes it that much.

Way to go to end up with spoilt kids! Yeah sure, she loves my £100 eye shadow pallet and £40 lipstick so i just bought her her own Hmm

Kids need to learn that some things are NOT up for sharing - and if they want expensive stuff, they can get a job to earn money to pay for it!

frasier · 03/04/2018 13:38

How old is she?

What is the consequence for her lying and taking your stuff? Whatever it is, up the consequence, it clearly isn't working!

(Why should you have to hide your own stuff in your own house?)

Mountainsoutofmolehills · 03/04/2018 13:44

Here is a lesson in sharing your things with grace. Or hide them. Remember you daughter will know where everything in your room is kept, so hide well.

SukiTheDog · 03/04/2018 13:44

Yanbu. Make sure she has plenty of her own stuff but then make it very clear, it’s bad manners to help herself to yours.

GnotherGnu · 03/04/2018 13:46

What do you do when she has blatantly lied about whether she's taken your stuff?

Ebeneser · 03/04/2018 13:49

She certainly needs to learn boundaries. Maybe dock her pocket money every time she does this.

I never used to use my mums stuff, but my sister and I used to use my dads bic razors to shave our legs then put it back in the pack after. He used to go mad so we'd do it every now and then just to wind him up.

Inertia · 03/04/2018 13:50

I would hide it away, because sharing make up and toiletries isn’t very hygienic, especially given that your skin is sensitive anyway.

I would probably have a conversation with her about what cosmetics had a good/ bad effect on her skin, and buy her something suitable on the proviso that she chucked out anything which was damaging / irritating .

WowLookAtYou · 03/04/2018 13:58

DS used to use my Touche Eclat to dab on his spots!!! Angry Angry

TomRavenscroft · 03/04/2018 14:01

I assume she's old enough to understand the concept of using/stealing other people's things, and also the reason why she shouldn't use this specific stuff.

However, if she won't act her age then treat her like a younger child and 'take them off' her –as someone else suggested, keep them locked up. Explain to her why you've had to do so, tell her you're happy to buy her her own products and give her a chance to grow up about it.

BewareOfDragons · 03/04/2018 14:17

I'd hide it.

I'd also tell her you're docking her pocket money every single time she takes it to go towards replacements.

Original poster
ohh · 03/04/2018 15:06

Thanks all for input!. DD is 14. Was spoilt by ex husband that she no longer sees (approx 6 months.)

Knows its wrong to steal stuff. I have not docked her pocket money but that sounds like an idea. Along the lines of "you have used my £76 pot of skincare; I bought you Dermalogica range that costs £30 plus. No you owe me £56.".....

Now when she used Estee Lauder Advance Night repair of mine I explained that at her age does more damage than good as does not need anti aging at 14.

Awaiting 10 year old boy to borrow hair stuff ........

So I do not spoil DD just because I treat her to Dermalogica as and when she needs it for spots. Otherwise a sensible Simple Range.

OP posts:
immortalmarble · 03/04/2018 15:08

I think teens just like trying different stuff out. I would agree with locking it.

ghostyslovesheets · 03/04/2018 15:23

I have 2 teenage girls - I hide everything - make up, shampoo, skin cream, hair brushes etc - they are like locusts with my stuff

and yes if I do find my stuff in their rooms their allowance is docked - they get good pocket money and I buy them razors, deodorant, basic skin cream etc if they need it

ducksandrivers · 03/04/2018 15:39

This reminds me of the time I got some very expensive skin care to try and help with some skin issues I was having. I asked DH if he knew where it had gone one day as it wasn't in its usual place to which he replied "oh my elbow cream" turns out the cheeky fecker had been using it to moisturise his elbows!

Shock definitely not unreasonable to hide it!

Birdsgottafly · 03/04/2018 15:50

I've had three teen girls, i used to hide mine and buy them what suited them. They didn't need the expensive stuff that I bought, their skin was perfect before they started, which I made sure I told them.

I'm lucky that they've never had the same taste in perfume.

Mrsbird311 · 03/04/2018 15:53

Bugger that, I wouldn’t hide my stuff I’d make it clear that it’s mine and if she helps herself that’s the same as stealing money out of your purse, most mumsnetters wouldn’t think that’s ok but think stealing your skincare is fine??? If necessary put a lock on your bedroom door and if anyone asks why tell them that your daughter steals! I don’t get people allowing this, if she has everything she needs then she doesn’t need the stuff you work hard for , having nicer stuff is early, maybe she can save up pocket money or earn some cash doing extra chores and save up for the good stuff, teach her the value of money

mollymoo0 · 03/04/2018 16:04

Perhaps swap the pots your products is in so put into a cheap Nivea pot and put he cheap Nivea into the expensive pot so at least if she takes it then it's not the expensive stuff

ikeepaforkinmypurse · 03/04/2018 16:08

it's ridiculous, you shouldn't have to hide your belongings, your DD is not a housemate, she is your child.
Make it very clear that she is not allowed to touch your things, and state what consequences there will be if she does.