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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Children in changing room

32 replies

Orchidflower1 · 03/04/2018 11:59

Background before my AIBU - Was at a department store earlier. Being refurbished so fewer changing rooms. There were two unattended ie no staff just help yourself changing rooms for children only. Dd had one pair of jeans to try on. Both rooms occupied so we waited and waited. One has mum and her dd trying on bridesmaids dresses - she has 6 to try on. Other one has has mum and dd trying on swimwear. Swimwear girl comes out in 6 different swimsuits to show Aunty waiting outside then mum getting her changed. Other changing room a hand appears from behind cloth so not seen anyone. After 7th swimwear ( you’re only supposed to take 3 items in) I said toswimwear mum could dd quickly pop these jeans on- shoes off ready and will be very quick. Swimwear mum says very rudely “ no I’ve got things to do and - next door have been in longer” - I said “ well I haven’t seen them come in and out we’ll be quick she has shoes off ready” . Swimwear mum says you’re spoiling a nice experience. I said well your e only supposed to take three items in. At this point get dd came to stand by mirror to look at herself AGAIN. My dd was in front putting shoes back on. I made swimwear girl wait as I tied dd laces- can’t do them yet. Swim wear mum says “she only wants a look” I said “ well she only wants to pop these on I’m just tying laces”. I left the jeans at changing room and went to pay for coat. When paying I explained to cashier what has happened. So my AIBU is - was I cheeky to ask to try on? I suffer from GAD. So just going to shops is HUGE for me. Still shaking even now.

OP posts:

Thistlebelle · 03/04/2018 12:04

I think that sometimes you just have to wait in the queue.

Asking to use their changing room wasn’t necessarily cheeky but it was certainly unusual.

If it was a department store I’d have gone to another floor to find another fitting room. It’s unlikely that there’s only two female cubicles for the entire store.

Justanotherzombie · 03/04/2018 12:05

Im sorry it was a horrible experience for you but yes, you were unreasonable. The changing rooms were in use, not being held but unused, so you needed to either wait, try on jeans outside the cubicle, come back later, or take the jeans to try at home and return if not suitable. It was a bit unlucky that all rooms were being used by people trying on lots of stuff but you were unreasonable.

Shoxfordian · 03/04/2018 12:07

Yeah you were essentially in a queue so should have waited for them to finish or just bought the jeans and tried on at home

FullLaundryBasket · 03/04/2018 12:09

It's not a big deal but it might have been more appropriate to wait in line or to find other changing rooms in another part of the store.

I think the 3 thing rule isn't about the time it takes to try on, as if you have more than 3 you just usually leave them at the front and swap items when ready to try more, you don't have to go back and q again. Perhaps it's more to deter theft.

But honestly just move on, have a nice cuppa and find something else to think about to distract yourself from thinking about this more. Hope you relax soon xx

pimlicolife · 03/04/2018 12:10

You should have just waited.

Original poster

Orchidflower1 · 03/04/2018 12:10

Thanks thistle I find waiting in unfamiliar places hard so i was finding a five minute wait feeling like 50 minutes. The nearest others were on the far corner of the next floor as only gents on the same floor. It’s annoying as probably 18m ago dd would have been at an age where we would have stood in a secluded corner and tried on there but too big now. It just upset me that I’d asked politely and the other mum was rude to me. If she’d said sorry I know I’ve got more than I should in here I wouldn’t have felt annoyed.

OP posts:

Original poster

Orchidflower1 · 03/04/2018 12:12

Think I just need to move on and forget about it. Lesson learnt if my anxiety it’s not under enough control to try on clothes we don’t queue up!

OP posts:

Nothisispatrick · 03/04/2018 12:13

Yes YABU. It's a queue, that's how it works.

ZoeWashburne · 03/04/2018 12:17

I fully understand you have GAD and it made you anxious. But you can't throw that on the other people as a reason you need to go first. You were in a queue, and were behaving rather passive aggresively. You took out your anxiety on another little girl trying on swimsuits. Can you imagine if someone had done that to your DD?

Why not order online, and try on in your own house, then you only have to wait in a returns queue.

Original poster

Orchidflower1 · 03/04/2018 12:19

The even more annoying thing is that after we left dd jeans she said she didn’t like the pattern anyway!

OP posts:

Sirzy · 03/04/2018 12:23

Yes you where cheeky, and rude.

Original poster

Orchidflower1 · 03/04/2018 12:24

Thanks zoe I do about 95% of shopping on line and I thought it would be nice for dd to go out in the holidays but maybe it was a bit much. I didn’t tell the other mum I was anxious.

OP posts:

TheHulksPurplePants · 03/04/2018 12:27

I'll go against the PP's here and say YANBU to politely ask if your DD could nip in and try the jeans on while the other girl was looking in the mirror. However, you should have taken no for an answer, and maybe tried your luck with the other mum or waited, rather than left or continued to try and reason with her. But there was no harm, and it certainly wasn't cheeky, to ask.

Bluelady · 03/04/2018 12:28

If they were cubicles inside a changing room what didn't she just try the jeans on without bothering with a cubicle?

Efferlunt · 03/04/2018 12:29

It that situation I would have asked but accepted that woman was within her rights to say no and prepared to be snapped at. This is on the basis that if you don’t ask you don’t get and I would have let somebody use The changing rooms if the situation was reversed. Requires a thick skin though and if you are not prepared for that don’t do it.

upsideup · 03/04/2018 12:34

The nearest others were on the far corner of the next floor

Thats not that far.
You would not have been unreasonable to ask but they said no.
No need to cause a scene and try and make the other little girl uncomfortabale.

MrMeSeeks · 03/04/2018 12:39

The 3 things is so you can only take 3 things into the actual cubicle, not 3 things and then you need to come out.
I think you were unreasonable here.

TheGruffalosArse · 03/04/2018 12:40

Neither of you were being hugely U, you asked and she said no, it's not really a problem. It is annoying when people hog the changing rooms.

Butteredparsn1ps · 03/04/2018 12:41

I'd like to think I would have been more considerate in hurrying my DC if I was aware of a queue than the lady in the store OP, but yes I'm afraid I think you were being unreasonable too.

I like to try things on in order, and a request like this would put my rhythm out, meaning my total time would have been longer. I also wouldn't have wanted to move any bags I had with me to let you and your DD in and then take them back again...

PrettyLittIeThing · 03/04/2018 12:41

Yabu

Notevilstepmother · 03/04/2018 12:43

I think maybe shopping isn’t the best mum and daughter activity for you and dd. It’s stressful and that takes the fun out of it. Send her clothes shopping with her friends and pick somewhere quieter for you and her to spend time together.

Trinity66 · 03/04/2018 12:46

You were being unreasonable but its understandable why you were annoyed at the same time

ScreamingValenta · 03/04/2018 12:49

Swimwear mum sounds a bit OTT with her 'you're spoiling a nice experience' - you only asked, all she had to do was say no. I doubt that situation would arise when the store has its normal complement of fitting rooms, so perhaps just avoid it until the refurbishment is complete.

I doubt the other mum has given it a second thought, so try to put it out of your mind.

Finderscrispy · 03/04/2018 12:51

It’s not unreasonable to ask. If there’s only 2 cubicles and you’re trying on a lot of stuff , where’s the harm in just letting someone jump in for a couple of minutes.
Similar to people with trolleys full of food, letting someone with one item ahead of you in queue, obviously there’s no requirement to do it but it’s polite to offer.

Alienspaceship · 03/04/2018 12:52

You were completely unreasonable and rude. There are lots of reasons why people buy and try on at home - why don’t you?

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