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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder if I should try to rehome pets

88 replies

terrinesea · 02/04/2018 14:05

Contentious subject, I know.

Please try to tell me what you would do if you were me.

Until four years ago, I was doing really well, on top of everything, then things went tits up due to the trauma of a false allegation and not only did I lose my job, friends and home but I lost what felt like my identity too.

I worked in a different field and sort of had things sorted. My cats have been my constant source of companionship.

Now I have a real opportunity to start over. Abroad.

I’m desperate to go but I don’t know what to do about cats.

Should I rehome?

OP posts:
chemenger · 02/04/2018 14:33

What don’t you like about my post terrinesea? That is how we do Home-to- Home adoption.

ReanimatedSGB · 02/04/2018 14:33

Go to the local rescue centre; they will help. Do not let this oppportunity for a good, fresh start be spoiled by sentimental twats telling you to put the cats first - they will be all right if put up for rehoming. Animals are generally happy enough if homed somewhere with food, shelter and kindness.

YoohooDorothy · 02/04/2018 14:34

Grumpypantz honestly believes that the OP should give up a chance to rebuild her life for the sake of some cats Hmm? Yes, you should look to rehome them via a centre. It'll be gut wrenchingly hard but you have to put yourself first. Good luck with the move OP. I hope it turns out to be the best thing you've ever done.

pandarific · 02/04/2018 14:34

IF you can find them a loving home, then in your pretty extreme situation, I think it's okay.

Second the local cat association and cat fostering facebook groups. My local one is excellent. Good luck.

specialsubject · 02/04/2018 14:39

animals need shelter, the right food, the right medical care, the right environment. Cats are not sentimental about people and would prefer not to be trucked abroad. Especially not an elderly one.

rehome. That's your duty and obligation. If it is a rescue centre, fund until they die or are adopted. That is too.

VladmirsPoutine · 02/04/2018 14:40

Re-home them and good luck with your new life.

Tbh I don't know why you started this thread... were you really going to stay in your current predicament because some internet strangers told you to stay with your cats at any cost? Confused

MoonFacesMum · 02/04/2018 14:41

Of course you should take the opportunity. I regard pets as part of the family and things would have to be pretty extreme to convince me to rehome but this sounds like one of those situations. Honestly, in 10 or so years time once the cats have passed, would you be comfortable knowing you gave up a new life purely to stay with them?

We got our two grown up cats from the Cats Protection League. They don’t put healthy cats down, we were impressed with their service.

Good luck to you.

Alicatz66 · 02/04/2018 14:43

Looks like you are going to have to re home them .. please try Cat Protection first .. I got my rescue kitty from there 12 years ago .. they deserve a loving home .. also .. get a move on now or it will be kitten season and they will be swamped. Cat Protection vet owners. .. they even do a home visit ..

Idontdowindows · 02/04/2018 14:44

Terr, make sure they go to a good and loving home. Sometimes you need to do what you need to do.

PersianCatLady · 02/04/2018 14:45

What area of the country do you live in?

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 02/04/2018 14:46

There’s no way I could take my pets with me: I just couldn’t afford it for starters. I know the situation re rescues - it’s awful sad And one cat is pretty elderly.

You've made a commitment to these cats, and they've seen you through some hard times. They may now be inconvenient to you, but that's the choice you made and the one you have to stick with - especially as one cat is elderly, and there's a good chance your decision would mean it was put down because it's homeless and an unattractive pet.

Unfortunately it sounds like your past decision means you can't emigrate. If you're desperate to start over, do so - but do it somewhere where you can take your cats and fulfil the commitment you made.

ForalltheSaints · 02/04/2018 14:47

I do not think that moving an older cat a long distance is a good idea. Locally re-homing is what I would choose in your situation.

UpstartCrow · 02/04/2018 14:49

Yes you should try to rehome the cats, if you can afford to do so offer to make a monthly donation to a rescue until they are rehomed.

Have the vet bring their worming and vaccines up to date to increase their chances of finding a new home.

JacquesHammer · 02/04/2018 14:53

When you were having a hard time your cats were there for you

Utter emotive bollocks. The cats weren’t “there for” the OP. They were pets she took comfort from, trying to imprint human emotions on them isn’t helpful.

OP - my dearest friend rehomed her beloved cat due to an unavoidable change in circumstance. She absolutely acknowledges as hard as it was that it was the right decision.

JacquesHammer · 02/04/2018 14:54

but that's the choice you made and the one you have to stick with

Of course you don’t Hmm

Viviennemary · 02/04/2018 14:55

People do take on older cats. They might want a cat but not a kitten. Why not look into rehoming them first and see what options there are. I would take the job because you need to put yourself before cats. IMHO.

Judydreamsofhorses · 02/04/2018 14:57

I know people always say private rehoming is a bad idea, but we adopted our lovely cat via an ad on Gumtree. Before we went to meet her I sent her previous family photos of our home and garden, and they actually brought her here so they were able to check out the accommodation. We’re still in touch and I send them photos of her running the house every month or so. (They rehomed her because they had a boisterous toddler and a new baby with reflux, and she was spooked by constant noise and just not getting enough attention.) She is currently half on my lap, half on a heated throw, purring like a train.

lattewith3shotsplease · 02/04/2018 14:57

OP.
I really feel for you, and it's a very hard decision, but yes you should rehome your cats.

Take this new opportunity that's been given and good luck for your future. Flowers

Original poster
terrinesea · 02/04/2018 15:00

Chem, I’m sorry! I did like your post. It was “I hope not (I hope it won’t take long for them to be rehomed)” followed by sad face as this is upsetting for me.

Thank you. I live in the north.

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 02/04/2018 15:02

If you're desperate to start over, do so - but do it somewhere where you can take your cats and fulfil the commitment you made.

And

When you were having a hard time your cats were there for you, and now you just want to dump them because it's no longer convenient for you. Please rehome your cats - you don't deserve the love of a pet.

You see OP, that's why I wonder why you started this thread because you must have known you would elicit such batshit hysterical responses like the two above.

It's really not worth thinking about. Just get on with your life and I hope you can put the past behind you.

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 02/04/2018 15:03

*but that's the choice you made and the one you have to stick with

Of course you don’t Hmm*

Attitudes like that are why people like me end up clearing up messes created by the whims of people like you - like having spent the best part of a year sorting out the behavioural issues of a dog that was rehomed when he became inconvenient because someone couldn't be arsed to train him, rehomed again because he became inconvenient when someone moved house and finally - you guessed it - rehomed again because he became inconvenient when someone emigrated.

Animals aren't disposable commodities that you keep until they're no longer convenient and then discard like a pair of second hand jeans sent to the charity shop.

Original poster
terrinesea · 02/04/2018 15:03

I like you very much vlad but it isn’t just ‘should I rehome” it’s also “how do I rehome”

So the thread has been helpful.

OP posts:
JacquesHammer · 02/04/2018 15:07

Attitudes like that are why people like me end up clearing up messes created by the whims of people like you

I have never had a pet thanks.

I watched my best friend stay too long in an abusive relationship because she had the attitude she couldn’t rehome her cats. There is a difference between “not convenient” and being in a situation where you have no option.

Suggesting anything else is hyperbole.

IHaveBrilloHair · 02/04/2018 15:09

It's weird, so many posters have rehomed cats, and say they've settled fine, are great, lovely pets etc, yet when someone wants or needs to rehome, they are treated like shit, and as though their cats will have issues forever bollocks
One of my cats is on her third home with me, I feel no malice towards the previous owners, they couldn't keep her.

RunYouJuiceBitch · 02/04/2018 15:11

How elderly is the elderly cat, and is he/she healthy (by this, I mean has he/she had recent bloodwork)?

Certain charities (not all) will euthanase cats with long-term health conditions because they are too difficult to re-home.