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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Childminder

117 replies

KJE2017 · 02/04/2018 01:19

AIBU to choose a different childminder - I have not handed over the contract that she gave me to sign.

About a month ago me and my DH went to visit a childminder at her home to see if she would be suitable for our DD. First of all DD took to her straight away (she was 5 month at the time). The childminder seemed really nice, down to earth and does anything to help parents out.

Here's my reasons for making me want to reconsider; her back garden has been ruined by her dog, she has a driveway which she says she lets the children play on and she supervises them - she's lives on a housing estate. However she said that she takes the children to the park often so they can play. I asked her where my child could nap, she said she lets them nap on the couch with cushions on the floor; she said she's never had any child fall from the couch. She is a smoker but said she does not smoke around the children, she said she just wouldn't do it and it is also illegal. (When she came round my house to bring me the contract the paper, in my opinion smelt like smoke) her house didn't smell of smoke, so maybe she had a cigarette after she finished childminding but before she came to my house?? She was honest about her OFSTED report, she said she got a 'needs improvement' as she could not find some paperwork but she is adamant she has that paperwork somewhere in the house. There was one child (13 yo I think)who she childminds at the house waiting to get picked up when we were there discussing things with the childminder. When the child's parents arrived (waited in the car) the child ran straight out of the house without saying bye to the childminder. Was this because she was shy around me and DH or does she dislike the childminder?? The childminders daughter was there, she seemed very nice also.

Good points are the childminder offered to bring our DD back home at 6pm each time she childminds as DH drives a van for work and can not have a car seat in the van. She said she would provide nappies, wipes etc - we would not expect her to do so, we would take our own. She would charge us £60pw this includes meals and snacks - that's the cheapest by far, however money is not a issue when it comes to my DD's well-being. She was the only childminder we found who started early enough for us, I start work at 7ma so need childcare from 6:30am, not many childminders work that early. The childminder does seem like a nice person and easy to get along with. She said she would send me photos of my DD on WhatsApp. The 13yo who she childminds has apparently been childminded since she was 6 months old by this childminder. She gave me reviews to read I read through them, they were good - I'm being paranoid about them thinking that she got somebody to write them for her. I don't know why Hmm

AIBU to be abit weary or am I just looking into little things too much? She is kind of our only option for childcare as there are no nursery's that are open at 6:30am & family can not help with childcare. I am feeling nervous and uneasy and need your honest opinions. I will not put my DD in danger I'm just not sure if I'm being too paranoid. I've never had to deal with childminders before as DD is our first child.

OP posts:
Pleasedontdrawonyoursister · 02/04/2018 21:36

A heavy smoker, yes I would agree, but I am talking about someone that would smoke of an evening, outside, when not working, wearing clean clothes in the morning to look after the children and not smoking again at all whilst they are working. I am pleased you have a great choice of childcare providers. Unfortunately that isn’t the case where I am Sad. Great news OP that you have another meeting lined up already, hope you find what you are looking for.

KJE2017 · 02/04/2018 21:43

Thank you pleasedontdrawonyoursister

OP posts:
Idontdowindows · 02/04/2018 21:46

Just saying it shouldn’t be the be all and end all as you may miss out on a fantastic childcare provider.

I don't see how anyone who exposes children to toxins can be a fantastic childcare provider.

Fruitcorner123 · 02/04/2018 21:53

Good luck for your meeting tomorrow. Just wanted to agree with everyone else and also add this to consider for your meeting tomorrow.

The childminder I'm talking with, her working times are 5:30am-7pm

If she filled her day she would be caring for children for 13.5 hrs a day. She can't possibly give them her full care and attention for that length of time. She would be exhausted. Please consider the hours, the costs, smoking, pets and price when you meet the new childminder tomorrow.

KJE2017 · 02/04/2018 22:41

How do I let the childminder know that I do not what to use her services? It's got to the point where she has gave my her contact to sign. Any ideas what I could say to her when I tell her I'll not be going ahead?

OP posts:
WhatchaMaCalllit · 02/04/2018 23:02

Just thank her for her time so far and that you've decided to find alternative childcare elsewhere. If she asks why you're not using her services just have your list ready of:

  1. She is a smoker and you want a non-smoker
  2. She has a dog
  3. Her back garden is in a terrible state due to #2 above
  4. Whatever else you don't like.

Give her constructive feedback and say that you appreciated her taking the time to get things this far but you're going to use alternative childcare facilities for your child.

wednesdaygirl · 02/04/2018 23:04

Just say
I'm very sorry I don't need your service anymore but thank you for your time
I'll post contract (if blank) through your door

I want to know her number I really want to read her report lol

hibbledibble · 02/04/2018 23:27

A huge red flag is that she is so cheap, and is available for such long hours. I bet she isn't registered.

The lack of safe sleeping area and smoking are a hard no for me. A dog isnt, but it is something that I would assess on a case by case basis.

Lack of garden isn't ideal but is common in some areas.

insancerre · 03/04/2018 06:54

She will be supervising the children playing on the drive as she smokes her cigarettes, probably

findingmyfeet12 · 03/04/2018 07:07

The dog alone would be enough to put me off.

I don't have children and my parents let us nap on the couch so I have to say I don't think that would bother me (but that just shows my own ignorance as it clearly bothers others, so I'll make a point not to do that if I ever have children!)

feral · 03/04/2018 07:16

Glad to read you're looking elsewhere.

The smoking would be an instant no for me anyway.

WickedGirl · 03/04/2018 07:44

By law, her ofsted registration should be visible to all parents using her setting

I keep mine together with my public liability insurance, an ofsted poster and safeguarding information

That’s all very basic stuff that parents expect to see as a minimum requirement

vandrew4 · 03/04/2018 07:54

I agree that she sounds too cheap and i wouldn't like the smoking / dog but i don't get why people are so against the sofa sleeping? i have a mindee that always sleeps on the settee. i put him down to sleep and he sleeps at one end and I'm sat right next to him having lunch/ fannying about on the internet. i take it people mean unsupervised sleeping?

MollyDaydream · 03/04/2018 08:22

A sofa isn't suitable for a baby, it doesn't meet safe sleeping guidelines.

KJE2017 · 03/04/2018 10:07

Thank you everybody. I'll update tonight when I've been to see the other childminder.

OP posts:
KingIrving · 03/04/2018 12:41

This must have been tremendously stressful for you, but you did well.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 03/04/2018 13:13

Well done op. I have to say I was dreading you saying you were going to use her. There are so many red flags there....!
Fingers crossed for the other childminder Flowers

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