Childminder

[KJE2017]

AIBU to choose a different childminder - I have not handed over the contract that she gave me to sign.

About a month ago me and my DH went to visit a childminder at her home to see if she would be suitable for our DD. First of all DD took to her straight away (she was 5 month at the time). The childminder seemed really nice, down to earth and does anything to help parents out.

Here's my reasons for making me want to reconsider; her back garden has been ruined by her dog, she has a driveway which she says she lets the children play on and she supervises them - she's lives on a housing estate. However she said that she takes the children to the park often so they can play. I asked her where my child could nap, she said she lets them nap on the couch with cushions on the floor; she said she's never had any child fall from the couch. She is a smoker but said she does not smoke around the children, she said she just wouldn't do it and it is also illegal. (When she came round my house to bring me the contract the paper, in my opinion smelt like smoke) her house didn't smell of smoke, so maybe she had a cigarette after she finished childminding but before she came to my house?? She was honest about her OFSTED report, she said she got a 'needs improvement' as she could not find some paperwork but she is adamant she has that paperwork somewhere in the house. There was one child (13 yo I think)who she childminds at the house waiting to get picked up when we were there discussing things with the childminder. When the child's parents arrived (waited in the car) the child ran straight out of the house without saying bye to the childminder. Was this because she was shy around me and DH or does she dislike the childminder?? The childminders daughter was there, she seemed very nice also.

Good points are the childminder offered to bring our DD back home at 6pm each time she childminds as DH drives a van for work and can not have a car seat in the van. She said she would provide nappies, wipes etc - we would not expect her to do so, we would take our own. She would charge us £60pw this includes meals and snacks - that's the cheapest by far, however money is not a issue when it comes to my DD's well-being. She was the only childminder we found who started early enough for us, I start work at 7ma so need childcare from 6:30am, not many childminders work that early. The childminder does seem like a nice person and easy to get along with. She said she would send me photos of my DD on WhatsApp. The 13yo who she childminds has apparently been childminded since she was 6 months old by this childminder. She gave me reviews to read I read through them, they were good - I'm being paranoid about them thinking that she got somebody to write them for her. I don't know why

AIBU to be abit weary or am I just looking into little things too much? She is kind of our only option for childcare as there are no nursery's that are open at 6:30am & family can not help with childcare. I am feeling nervous and uneasy and need your honest opinions. I will not put my DD in danger I'm just not sure if I'm being too paranoid. I've never had to deal with childminders before as DD is our first child.

All of that is dangerous and frightening. Dropping your child off is a huge inconvenience and I suspect a red flag. I bet it's to keep you out of the house and seeing what is really going on ie dog running amok and house smelling of smoke.

She is a smoker so how is she going to smoke? Either in the house with your children or leaving them unattended to have them outside.

A friend of mine is a childminder. As you go into her house she has her ofsted info, paediatric first aid cert, council license etc all on display. The fact this woman “can’t find” hers is a huge red flag.

I'm glad you're going to look at other providers. There is no way on earth I would allow my baby to stay here.

You need to see the full ofsted report. The fact that it's not forthcoming isn't great. I've always been sent links making it extremely easy.

She's a smoker. So when does she smoke if she's looking after your child for 12 hours? The out of control dog would worry me (and it is out of control if it's digging up the garden. Plus if she's childminding for 12 hours does that mean the dog doesn't get out for that amount of time too?)

Sorry. hope you find somewhere lovely soon

We are East Midlands . Most childminders are Around £4 per hour per child. Some do offer a big sibling discount and I had one charge £7 for 3 kids per hour (effectively £2.33 per hour per child!!) as the school after school club is only £3 per hour and she was having to compete with this.

Are you crazy?! A dog in a house full of other people’s children?! Nowhere to nap?! No garden to play in? So she’s look8ng after quite a few children and has a dog going outside into a destroyed garden and doing its business then coming back into the house on the floor that your dc will soon be crawling on yuck! You’d have to be nuts to consider her and I’m funny about other people transporting my child in a car there’s too much potential for human error, being left strapped into car seat too long,not being strapped in correctly or tight enough, wearing too many or too few layers in the car seat, the car seat not being fitted correctly or being of good enough quality or being old and stained/unhygienic or damaged etc etc would never have anyone except me,DH or DM transport my little boy.

Glad you're looking at other providers, I would feel very uncomfortable with a smoker that lets babies sleep on the sofa and who doesn't have their paperwork in order.

Jesus yes and she’s a smoker?! How does she smoke when she’s looking after children all day?! Either they are left unattended whilst she goes outside or she smokes near them neither of which are acceptable plus her dog is going crazy destroying the garden as it’s frustrated and under excercised most likely, not an animal I’d want around my child.

The offer to bring your child home to you may seem like a very kind and helpful thing to do
But its probably to keep you out of her house and should be ringing massive alarm bells

This cm has many unsafe practices and that's just the ones she has told you about. Imagine what else she does that you will never know about

Why not ring her and ask for her URN, tell her you need it for child tax credits and then look for the ofsted report
Her Ofsted page will have her full reports and any complaints so make sure you look at it and not just read the latest report.

Napping on sofa/floor with pillows really wouldn't bother me.

The dog, the smoking, the Needs Improvement would. Also the 13year old just running out when he was being collected doesn't bode well. My cm has a couple of 12 year olds she's minded for years and it's been completely ingrained in them that they do not open doors/let themselves out or come and go as they please. It sounds completely lax.

Oh god, do not leave your baby with this person

Dogs
Smoking
A baby sleeping on sofa
‘Lost’ paperwork
Trashed garden
Price too cheap

No no no no no
Can you or DH amend your working hours? Can you find recommendations for another CM?
Best of luck

Yanbu. Good luck finding a childminder or nursery place for your dc. This all sounds bad. There’s no chance I’d use her either.

Not in a million years, I'd run as fast as I could in the opposite direction! Sorry but you shouldn't even be considering using her OP.

To all the people saying smoking would be an instant no... I have a good friend who is a fantastic nanny. She has been kept on for years by families and recommended to friends of her charges etc. She is a smoker, but would NEVER smoke whilst looking after the children. She would wait all day if need be, but yes she may have one walking home after work so if you were to speak to her outside of her nannying hours then she may indeed smell of smoke. It would never be an instant no from me if the house smelt ok? You would know for sure if she smoked inside, it would stink! (I am a non smoker). The dog and sleeping arrangements are pretty dodge though!

I wouldn’t let this person look after a goldfish.

Makes the kids nap on the sofa? Er, no. My kids have beds to sleep in. A cot, a travel cot, is easy to store and put up for nap times. Fucking ridiculously dangerous, wouldn’t even do it as an emergency.
Dog trashing garden? Nah.
£60 pw!? Fucking insanity.

I’m in touch with local childminders to find care for my toddler. One has quoted £5ph, dinner includes and snacks. That’s about right imo- even quite cheap, and her ofsted report was brilliant. And I’m in London...

My mum is a registered childminder (mind you not in the UK but a neighbouring country), she looks after 4 to 5 kids (usually 3 babies, one over 2 and a school-aged one) and before being able to look after that many kids she had to have her house checked as she must have enough space for them all. All the children at my mum's place have their own coat or bed and there are enough room to separate them all during nap time if they keep each other awake. No way would she be able to leave a baby sleeping on the sofa without losing her license.

Would your childminder be sitting on the sofa watching all the kids sleep during their nap time? My mother usually uses nap time to get on with chores etc... so it's very likely your child will be out of sight and could easily roll off the sofa and onto the floor/pillow and get massively hurt, if the dog is also allowed inside the house he may well have access to the kids as I doubt she follows the dog everywhere he goes or never keep the kids out of a her sight for a minute.

I am not entirely sure how much my mother charges even though I know she is toward the lower end of the bracket (and it's irrelevant to you as not in the same country) but I am pretty sure she charges more than this and she doesn't include nappies and wipes (though will have extras in case parents forgot) and only provide food at an extra fee.

Your CM seems very cheap, but then again she also seem to be providing a rather low-cost service. I wouldn't personality risk it and would be looking at alternative arrangements, even if just hiring a baby-sitter to drop off your daughter at another childminder a bit later so you don't have to worry about getting to work on time.

I have contacted another childminder and I'm meeting her tomorrow 🤞

Good luck! Thinking about it, I'm surprised her OFSTED rating isn't much worse considering what you've described.

She is a smoker, but would NEVER smoke whilst looking after the children.

Harmful particles remain in a smoker's clothes and on their body. So even if they don't smoke around the children, they are still carrying that stuff around and as they pick up the children, bring them in contact with it.

www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/expert-answers/third-hand-smoke/faq-20057791

I would want my child on a mattress on the floor and I wouldn't be happy with a dog unless allocated a separate fenced area of the garden so the children had somewhere outside to play other than a driveway. I had my school aged child at a childminder with a dog but the garden was not destroyed.

no sensible childminder would let a young baby sleep on a couch for naps. I would also be concerned that the outside space was unsuitable. I would also be concerned that it was too cheap. I have visited a similar childminder and I would not have felt comfortable leaving my dd there.

No I wouldn't have her at all. Tge main things are the lost paperwork(something dodgy here), she shoukd have them on display or show them to you, the dog, the baby sleeping in an inappropriate place. Would she really supervise children playing in the front garden, that would be a worry.

I'm not convinced she still has her registration if I'm honest.

That's a common problem, cm's that have lost their registration claiming they still have it and using old Certs etc as "proof"

Idontdowindows - fine, may be a deal breaker for you and that’s fine. Just saying it shouldn’t be the be all and end all as you may miss out on a fantastic childcare provider.

Pleasedontdrawonyoursister I don’t care how fantastic they are, if they smoke then they are passing on harmful particles in their clothes and hair to my child. There are lots of fantastic childminders who don’t smoke so it’s not like it’s a choice between fantastic cm who smokes or crap non smoking cm.