To ignore friends comments

[PrettyLittIeThing]

Friend told me today that her and my other friends were talking about me. Apparently my children are always immaculate but I need to make more effort with my experience. Aibu to ignore them. I simply can't afford it, yes my hair needs doing and doesn't look good and I have cheap clothes and cheap shoes but I can't afford anything else. As long as my kids look nice then I'm fine with the way I look. Aibu to ignore them or should I be taking on board what they said. I get no maintenance for my kids so honestly it's a struggle to get by (whole other thread.) but I feel they were saying I look really bad but I think they should be more understanding.

Well we lead by example but that means being clean and tidy surely it doesn't matter if you have cheap none brand clothes as long as your not going out with a massive rip on your arm and ketchup up the front 😂

Maybe possibly perhaps she thought she was being a good friend by being upfront and honest rather than gossiping behind your back?

I always have my hair in a ponytail, I only make an effort with it for night out. My decent true friends don't care what my hair is like, they enjoy my company.

You don't have to spell out your financial situations in fine detail to your so-called friends in order for them to get it
Yes, thank you expat, I get it. I'd just read it differently.

I understand it is not nice what has been said (even though I still think it could entirely have been said out of concern). But, having read through all of your replies to this, I get the feeling there is more to it than what you say.

Dressing cheaply doesn't mean not making an effort. In fact, it makes far more sense to dress young children cheaply as they will grow out of things so quickly. That doesn't mean that they cannot look nice, though. One of the most-complimented-on items one of my DC possesses is a pair of wellies from ALDI. Many posters here get branded clothes via ebay if that is more your cup of tea.

OP, it honestly is fine and nothing to do with anyone if you don't want to make an effort, but I get the feeling the comments stung more, because they have hit a nerve somewhere. The question then is why you are looking for excuses. You don't need to spend a fortune on yourself or neglect your children to make an effort. You may be tired, run down, exhausted from parenting all day and that is okay to admit! You may even get an offer to babysit for a while.

Lack of money really doesn't = lack of effort.

So what is it that actually annoyed you?