AIBU to be asked if I had lost a lot of weight?

[Toogoodtobeforgotten]

At a gathering on Friday, one couple arrives that we've not seen for over 5 months, and Lea remarks: "oh, have you lost a lot of weight?" then she must have seen my face and quickly added - " not that you were big before".

Background for context - around October and November, I lost around 10lbs and kept it off over Christmas. Then since January I've given in and it's all come back on (no one else to blame but my own gluttony). On Friday night, I carefully chose an outfit which I knew would flatter me - slim dark trousers, high heels and a drapey blouse. So Lea thought I looked as if I'd lost weight - when I have just put it back on!

AIBU to be worried - she must have thought I looked like an absolute hippo before and ... or am I just worrying unnecessarily? I must admit I feel quite shite about it and yes wouldn't it be good it this could motivate me to lose the weight again?

For context I'm 5' 7" and now about size 12/14, with a rather big tummy.

You can't be unreasonable to be asked something. Your question should be AIBU to be worried about friend asking if I'd lost weight?

Sorry about that.

But anyway....are you certain you've put it all back on? Maybe you only put about 8 on?

Did she see you when you'd originally lost it?

You are completely over-thinking this.

Your friend thought you looked like you had lost weight since she last saw you. There is nothing more to it than that and nothing to worry or think about. It was a casual throw-away comment meant as a compliment. Take it that way and stop over-thinking.

AIBU to be worried - she must have thought I looked like an absolute hippo before and ...

Or maybe she thought you'd lost some weight?

So Lea saw you when you initially lost weight? Why is she acting surprised then?

I used to have a pair of work trousers that were quite slimming and I routinely got asked if I’d lost weight. I wasn’t offended. Eventually I kicked my arse into gear and did lose the weight at which point the trousers no longer fitted.

Sounds like you just looked nice and wore a flattering outfit. Not sure what’s to be too worried about there?

You look like you have lost weight, this is not a comment on your previous weight. Someone who is a normal weight can lose weight and a friend might mention it. You are over thinking it.

Some people say that as a compliment whether they think you have lost weight or not. Don’t overthink it,I’m sure you looked great.

I'ts generally seen as a good thing to lose weight - and you've been actually trying - so your friend just said something nice. It looks like you''ve lost weight.You looked nice. Stop over thinking it!
And yes, if you are unhappy about your appearance, do something about it!

So you deliberately chose clothes to flatter your figure and somehow someone asking if you lost weight is bad?

YABU for using the word hippo when you're a 12/14 and the average dress size is a 16 though.

You sound like me, OP!

If someone says "You look nice today" my first thought is "Did I look like shit yesterday?"

And my lack of mental filter usually means I voice that thought. Probably why I don't get many compliments.

You wore an outfit that flattered you, ergo she thought you looked slimmer? Perhaps you have put the weight on in a different place to you lost it, so that you do look slimmer, e.g. your face is slimmer. Perhaps he had seen photos of you at Christmas and thought you looked slimmer and only saw you today to compliment you on it. I wouldn't worry op, it doesn't mean you looked by before it means you looked good on Friday.

I think it's really rude to comment on someone's weight. It's fine to say to someone that they're looking well or something similar or if hair is different etc.

There is no pleasing you op.
you fooled them with your cunning choice of clothes.

what does that mean?

I hate it when people say this to me as I automatically take it to mean that I was fat before

Toogoo, your friend was either just making a sincere compliment that you look especially nice in your outfit - or is fixated on weight herself and is one of those 'barometer' people who continually makes assessments and verbally comments on weight.

What's your opinion?

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The 'Helena Dove' reference is an oblique put-down to a poster who always talks about her weight loss on every thread she's on. It's important to her and possibly the focus of her life but even so, a bit shit of falsepriest to hijack someone else's thread to slap her down.

I similarly hate it when people say i look well because that means I have been looking like shit- which is the truth and it also usually mean that i have put on weight.

I would say "No I haven't, but thank you - I'll wear this again"

I feel the same, ProperLavs, I don't really like personal comments about my appearance at all. I don't mind, "I like that dress on you, Lying" but some people just seem to take 'people-watching' to a new and inappropriate level.

I was coming out of a meeting and as I was going out the door a woman that I'd been sitting with grabbed my arm and peered into my eyes demanding to know what mascara I was wearing. I was really taken aback and couldn't remember anyway.

We seem to be 'public property' to some people.

People say this to me a lot.
I either think their mental image of me is as a fat person, so when they see me in person i’m not as fat as the image they have in their head, so they think i’ve lost weight.

I am a size 10 ish, but hour glass with big boobs so i think their brains fill in my proportions to make overall big, iyswim.

I remember a poster on another forum that sounds very much like Helena- her trademark was posting threads on how she’d found the new miracle way of losing weight without being hungry, and had lost 8lbs in a week doing x, y and z. It got to the point where she’d lost so much weight (she never posted about putting the weight back on) i was quite suprised she was still alive to post.