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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be asked if I had lost a lot of weight?

46 replies

Toogoodtobeforgotten · 01/04/2018 10:21

At a gathering on Friday, one couple arrives that we've not seen for over 5 months, and Lea remarks: "oh, have you lost a lot of weight?" then she must have seen my face and quickly added - " not that you were big before".

Background for context - around October and November, I lost around 10lbs and kept it off over Christmas. Then since January I've given in and it's all come back on (no one else to blame but my own gluttony). On Friday night, I carefully chose an outfit which I knew would flatter me - slim dark trousers, high heels and a drapey blouse. So Lea thought I looked as if I'd lost weight - when I have just put it back on!

AIBU to be worried - she must have thought I looked like an absolute hippo before and ... or am I just worrying unnecessarily? I must admit I feel quite shite about it and yes wouldn't it be good it this could motivate me to lose the weight again?

For context I'm 5' 7" and now about size 12/14, with a rather big tummy.

OP posts:

TheJoyOfSox · 01/04/2018 11:55

You said yourself that you had dressed in a flattering outfit, so I think you’re overthinking the compliment Lea paid you. She thought you looked good, you automatically think you looked a hippo before, just take the compliment.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 01/04/2018 11:56

You're going to get this thread deleted, reallyanotherone. It's OP's thread so just stop it. You and the other 'gigglers' are being very unfair to Helena Dove too as she's a current poster here.

HuskyMcClusky · 01/04/2018 11:58

I hate it when people say this to me as I automatically take it to mean that I was fat before

This x 100000.

If it’s supposed to be a compliment, it’s not!

reallyanotherone · 01/04/2018 12:02

Sorry, wasn’t “giggling” at anyone. I don’t know helena and am not familiar with her posts. Just reminded me of a poster elsewhere, that’s all.

Lalliella · 01/04/2018 12:04

Who is HelenaDove? Please explain someone!

Btw, you’re overthinking OP, she was just paying you a compliment.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 01/04/2018 12:05

Agree Husky, I was also nodding at PutTheBunny's post because people always DO say that and I'm always left thinking, "Was I looking a hot mess when you saw me yesterday then?".

I'd rather people just didn't say anything.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 01/04/2018 12:07

Lalliella, I explained ^^.

Sparklingbrook · 01/04/2018 12:07

falsepriest why so mean?

WizardOfToss · 01/04/2018 12:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 01/04/2018 12:14

Any more 'wide-eyed' posts are just from twats who know full well what they're doing.

Original poster

Toogoodtobeforgotten · 01/04/2018 12:33

Blimey, I've missed something here as cannot view the deleted posts - probably just as well? Thanks for all the support from you who are telling me I'm just overthinking it :) Will come back to this thread later as I have to go out for lunch (hoping my choice of outfit will be just as flattering as Friday's).
PS, Lea did not see me when I had actually lost that 10 lbs - she's only seen me at the weight I am now (and was before, the loss).

OP posts:

Ohyesiam · 01/04/2018 12:36

Some people( usually the people who open their mouths and put their foot in it) don’t see weight as a sensitive issue, so it could have been much less of a loaded comment for her.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 01/04/2018 12:39

Those posts weren't about you or this thread, Toogood.

What are you wearing to your lunch? :)

Original poster

Toogoodtobeforgotten · 01/04/2018 12:40

Oh and just to add - Lea immediately asked me if she had been rude with her comment. She is a very nice person and it would not have been a loaded question.

OP posts:

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 01/04/2018 12:42

Did she know from someone else you'd previously lost weight?

Original poster

Toogoodtobeforgotten · 01/04/2018 12:53

Well, Witchin - for today's lunch also going for black and long boots with a tummy skimming lace top.
Great Duck - that could be possible as i saw a mutual friend in January; i hadn't thought of that!

OP posts:

elspinsdemariscal · 01/04/2018 12:55

Mine and NotASingleFuckToGive's posts were quoting someone else's post.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 01/04/2018 13:06

Marvellous, Toogood, make sure you're comfortable and you'll always look great.

===

espinsdemariscal, you're being disingenuous, you weren't. The post you say you were quoting didn't have the nauseating smiley on it. You and Not were being intentionally mean.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 01/04/2018 13:09

Anyway, back to the OP...

Toogood, if you say she's a good friend then maybe she's just taking a keen interest in how you look and making a point of complimenting you because she thinks you look good.

I can see where you're coming from though because I think it can feel like a loaded comment sometimes because it's personal, it's about your body rather than a general comment about your clothes and it can feel very intrusive sometimes, particularly if you're sensitive to this. I'm often wrong-footed by compliments as I really don't know what to do with them.

elspinsdemariscal · 01/04/2018 13:14

You and Not were being intentionally mean

Yes, I think that's a fair point and I hold my hands up to it.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 01/04/2018 15:00

Hmm maybe if your mutual friend has told her how great you looked in January, Lea could have just been being supportive and kind?

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