Being alone today?

[userwithabillionnumbers]

Hi all, can you tell me if AIBU or dramatic or whatever?

The backstory:
My FIL died in January after a long illness. My MIL doesn't like being alone and asks for DH all the time. He is there at least one day a week, wedon't live in the same city so he's there for most of the day. I have been talking to him to start cutting it downbecause he gets frustrated because he never has any time for himself. He works from home so a lot of time goes into that. Last weekend we had to spend the weekend at my brothers because of a birthday and a church thingy (hadn't seen them since xmas). DH was bitching about it three days beforehand. We haven't spent any time together this year. DH does have a sister but she doesn't do as much for her mum.

AIBU:
It's the 9th anniversary of DM's death today and I'm spending it alone because MIL wanted a lift to a childs birthday (not GC) and dinner together. I didn't want to go because I'm too sad and tend to cry on this day. We weren't invited anyway till MIL made them invite us so she had a free ride. I tried asking my husband a couple of times to spend the evening with me but he got all huffy that everybody is sad and that everyone wants his time. Which is true but it's not a special day for MIL so I thought that he could leave her. AIBU? Or overly dramatic (it has been nine years but I still miss my sweet mum)? Or is it just one of those things and I should give my DH a rest ( which he needs).

I just really want to be alone much longer.

And bimbo, I'm not the one deciding that he isn't grieving, he just isn't and says he didn't love him. Nothing to do withme, FIL fucked up that relationship all by himself.

Ok

Lexie

That is one of my concerns. I don't want to pressure DH but this isn't sustainable if he ever wants some kind of life for himself or with me. FIL was pretty ill before he died so I literally haven't had two hours this year to have breakfast or lunch with my DH. We are either busy, elsewhere or sleeping. We talk around midday on the phone. I would like to have some kind of marriage again. Every time we think that we have some time together MIL calls us. DH longs for a walk somewhere, or an hour to go to the gym, or going to the movies or anything.

I feel bad about the last remark about FIL. He didn't have a good example how a dad should be. I know that we are all strangers on the net but I just wanted to straighten that out.

Does DH spend every single Saturday and Sunday with his mum OP?