To think it's rude to ask someone how much rent they pay?

[Notalo]

Just went out for dinner with some of DH's colleagues and their partners, none of whom I'd met before as he is fairly new to the job and we're new to the area. The two women I was chatting to knew each other well and live in the same city, whereas DH and I live in a nearby town. They asked where I live and when I said the name of the town, the one woman started being a bit negative, saying it's super expensive and that we could get much better value in the city, following which she asked 'so how much rent are you paying on your place?' I was really taken aback and if I'd thought more quickly on my feet I might've fobbed it off, but I just couldn't think of what to say and so gave an approximate figure. She then followed up by asking how many bedrooms it is and saying she pays a similar amount for a 3 bedroom place compared to our 2 bedroom place. I get that she may have been trying to be helpful, but is it just me or is it rude and weird to ask how much rent someone pays?

I should also mention that this woman is originally from another country and I know that in some cultures it's quite normal to ask how much people earn and how much their property is worth, but even so, it made me really uncomfortable!

The other person was trying to be helpful.

I don't think it's rude. I talk about these things quite a lot with friends. What was, however, rude (or maybe just strange) was when I got a taxi to my new house about 2 weeks ago and the taxi driver said 'blimey, you must have money to burn knocking down a 500k house to build a new one in its place'. Bloody stalker.

But that's all because we have Rightmove/zoopla nowadays !

I was raised that, as a friend put it in my adult years, "we do not talk about the vulgar penny".

In my upbringing and experience it is very rude to discuss personal money, whether that is what you pay in rent or mortgage, what you earn or what you spent on your skirt/piano/furniture. Prices in general, like cars, whether BMW is more for your money than Mercedes, fine. What you spent on your dining table, shoes or home, not acceptable.

I think because asking about mortgages is slightly different, it starts to bring into play how much of the property you own outright, deposits, equity, salaries etc, and you can tell much from thr info about personal finances, where as rent is simply a payment for a service provided, you pay rent to a landlord to let you stay for a short term temporary period in a property they own
I agree.
Plus rental costs for an area can easily be googled.
If i know someone has a 3 bed semi in X town and i was intrigued on rental a quick google would tell me.

Same for house prices. Same for cars.

Mortgages are different because it's not a simple 'pay X get Y' situation. The nuances of mortgages strays very close to personal finances/salaries chat, which isn't for discussing really.

Mortgages, mortgage repayments, rent, they are all topics of conversation at my work and in my social group.
Seriously not a big deal.

LDR - You think it's ok to treat people who rent as somehow lesser. I'm not sure why.

Perhaps someone else can come in and pick the bones out of all my offensive posts on this thread, because I'm reading back and I cant see where you're coming from and why YOU project that I apparently think renters are plebs when there is NOTHING whatsoever in my posts to indicate that at all.

My posts in entirety:

Mortgages are more personal - many factors including wages, inheritance, deposits, actual amounts, interest rates.

I have no objection to anyone knowing my house is worth 450K (Zoopla will tell you that) , they have no need to know how much mortgage I have outstanding, what my repayments are, how much equity I have.

Rent, again is easily googleable - Zoopla will tell you the rentable value.

The key is that you are new to the area - therefore you know what all your friends pay (within reason) as you know your hometown market.

When you get different people together, even though they may only live a couple of miles apart, there will be wild variances of hundreds of pounds for the same style of property. Eg I'm looking to downsize and I can pick up a house roughly the same size for 200K less than mine is priced at, and its not a rough area, its simply just that next zone out of London (4 miles)

I think that's a bit simplistic, isn't it?

Zoopla/rightmove guesses about rental values are often way off, aren't they? So what you actually know is a guess without maybe a few hundred pounds per month each way. And the same margin of error for the mortgage, of course.

If you have a mortgage, I expect it feels very personal. But, it feel personal when you're asked how much you pay in rent, too. The fact is that if a question might make someone feel exposed, and is plain nosy, then ... you shouldn't ask!

FWIW, I work in an industry where it's pretty easy to figure out my salary, because it's on a fixed scale across the country (plus a London weighting). It's still rude for people to ask how much I earn - or so others on this thread claim.

So how is renting different?

I do think the British way of being frightened of talking about money has allowed a lot of companies to get away with paying people vastly different wages for a long time.
I don't get the fear about being transparent about earnings.

For example, zoopla underestimates the rental value of the property I'm currently renting by nearly 200pcm. But I've lived in a property zoopla underestimated by nearly 900pcm! The zoopla value was based on the value of that property before it had been extended, when it was approximately half the size.

I really don't see how rental values are any more easily obtained than mortgage rates, or why anyone should be more ok with them being discussed.

notacooldad exactly

Given that you barely know each other I think it was a bit rude.

Not if you knew each other well though.