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Original poster

Ok to not dress up too much for a Christening?

113 replies

ytrewqytrewq · 30/03/2018 17:50

Help me out here. We're not church-goers but going to a Christening soon for a family member - first one we've been to. There'll be a reception after but likely to be relatively informal. Is smart-casual ok, or do people dress up for Christenings like they do for weddings? Would jeans be ok, so long as they were relatively smart?

OP posts:
anxious2017 · 02/04/2018 08:43

I'd wear jeans. They're comfy and I don't do formal.

Surely you can't wear mixed fabrics in a church anyway? Isn't that what Christians believe? Hmm

LoniceraJaponica · 02/04/2018 08:43

I have worn jeans to church. Never to a christening though.

carmelsundae · 02/04/2018 08:43

Weekly church goer here - Church of Scotland. Our minister wears jeans or chinos every week, including yesterday. My husband wore smart jeans to our children's christening. We were much more focused on the event than what anyone was wearing. It's not a wedding, it's a commitment to Christ and therefore doesn't matter what you wear. Although obviously, some people do like to get dressed up for there own sakes!!

TheRagingGirl · 02/04/2018 08:46

Not jeans. Not even “new black skinnies with heels”. A christening is a significant occasion. If it doesn’t mean something important to you, at least have some respect for your family member, for whom it is a significant moment. In my family it’s a formal occasion almost as important as a wedding. We dress appropriately.

OneStepSideways · 02/04/2018 08:52

I've been to a few, all the men wore suits or smart trousers with a jacket. Ladies wore smart knee length dresses and nude heels. I think the general rule is light colours/pastels, no short skirts or low necklines, nothing too showy or attention grabbing.

Jeans would be disrespectful, much too casual.

Original poster
ytrewqytrewq · 02/04/2018 08:52

OP here (again). Agsin, for the record, the Christening was yesterday. I wore a dress in the end but was the smartest there. Everyone else was in jeans, including the family of the child being Christened and the vicar.

OP posts:
anxious2017 · 02/04/2018 08:53

Disrespectful to who? 😂

I'd wear jeans to a wedding too.

megletthesecond · 02/04/2018 08:53

What dappled said.
Baptisms are a regular part of Sunday service here. Just being there is important.

madein1995 · 02/04/2018 08:53

even if you're not religious it's a smart family occasion - no jeans!

Marmite27 · 02/04/2018 08:54

In my experience, it does depend where you live.

We went to a christening in a cathedral in Ireland and everyone was in jeans (we were very over dressed).

Small country church in Yorkshire, was suits, day dresses and facinaters.

NerrSnerr · 02/04/2018 08:56

Jeans would be disrespectful, much too casual.

Some people have said that in their church jeans are normal and the ministers wear them too. Who is it disrespectful to? Jesus or judgemental members of the congregation?

pudcat · 02/04/2018 08:56

Did the vicar not wear his Easter robes?

ferntwist · 02/04/2018 08:56

‘Do not worry about your clothes, what you will wear, or your food, what you will eat. Are you not more important than clothes and your body more important than food? ... Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?’

Still wouldn’t wear jeans to a christening though. Grin

PurpleDaisies · 02/04/2018 09:02

Just seen your update. I’m finding it hard to believe you that the vicar wore jeans. I’ve never seen this in my life. Especially not on Easter Sunday. Robes are usually long and white, with gold tunics on top for Easter Day in the Church of England and Catholic.

I’ve been a Christian for twenty odd years and I’ve never been to a church where the vicar has worn robes (except at friends’ weddings). It’s entirely normal for vicars to wear jeans or smart trousers with a shirt.

MargaretCavendish · 02/04/2018 09:03

There was a christening in the church I attend during the Easter service yesterday. My first thought when I walked in was 'blimey, some people have gone all out for Easter'. I then realised I'd never seen any of them before, and it was obviously a baptism. If those parents (who I did recognise, and who looked smarter than normal but not like they were going to a wedding) didn't want jeans at the ceremony they would have been very disappointed as while their guests were all in suits and pretty formal dresses etc., I and half the congregation were in jeans. It was 9.30 on a bank holiday weekend, I thought I was doing quite well to be wearing entirely clean clothes.

cueominousmusic · 02/04/2018 09:10

MadMags: Catholic, maybe it’s different.

Haven't seen a hat in a Catholic church for literally decades.

But then again, I am used to people wearing jeans, shorts, tank tops, dresses with shoe string tops - actually anything in which they feel comfortable - to Mass.

That being said, I'd probably wear smart casual if I was attending a baptism as an invited guest (where I live baptisms are frequently held as part of the Mass).

CoraPirbright · 02/04/2018 09:14

Everyone else was in jeans, including the vicar!

Well done OP - you showed you had standards!! God I hate this! I spend my life in jeans so want to dress up a bit for special occasions and yet it seems less and less the norm to make a bit of an effort. I dont want us all to go back to the 50’s when even a trip to the GP necessitated a suit and hat but gah! Why does everyone want to look so scruffy all the time? Eg the end of term carol service where I try to look nice (by which I just mean a skirt and shoes that are not muddy) but everyone else turns up in clothes they would wear to put the bins out in. I absolutely bloody hate it.

JobHunting4 · 02/04/2018 09:14

I'm off back to read this thread in more detail, it got very serious very quickly for fashion advice.
I second it depends on the area. I wore skinny black jeans, heels and a nice top for one recently and was absolutely fine. Reception was in a grotty pub.
Hope you had a good day op, despite having your wardrobe anxiety cranked up a gear or two

MumofBoysx2 · 02/04/2018 09:16

I would definitely not wear jeans. A dress would be the norm, but it doesn't have to be formal or wedding-y, think tea dresses or similar (plus cardigan for the weather!)

cueominousmusic · 02/04/2018 09:17

Actually, thinking about baptisms, my opinion is probably not typical. I was brought up to think of the baptism service as being the important thing, and any celebrations was very minor. One time I was godmother, we had the baptism and that was it. The other time the immediate family went back to the parents' house for coffee and, I think, a morning tea.

But, I suppose that was then, and this is now.

anxious2017 · 02/04/2018 09:19

Why does everyone want to look so scruffy all the time

I don't look scruffy in jeans, thanks. They're nice, crisp, dark denim and I wear them with tunic tops and boots. I wear them because they're the most comfortable thing for me. I don't want bits of tat in my hair and I loathe dresses. They get caught in my wheelchair.

I really couldn't care less what I wear. Clothes are just bits of material to cover a body. I can't understand why people get so het up about them, it's ridiculous.

MumofBoysx2 · 02/04/2018 09:19

Just saw that it has happened already - jeans! Very odd... If the parents were going to wear jeans they could at least have warned people, otherwise they would have felt overdressed. Sounds like they couldn't be bothered!

MargaretCavendish · 02/04/2018 09:19

Well done OP - you showed you had standards!! God I hate this! I spend my life in jeans so want to dress up a bit for special occasions and yet it seems less and less the norm to make a bit of an effort.

But OP was clearly going to a baptism during the service, so for most people there it wasn't a special occasion? Going to church isn't a big deal for me, it's something I do most weeks - and, since it's Holy Week, Sunday was the third time I'd gone this week (choral concert on Tuesday, Good Friday service and Easter Sunday Eucharist). I understand that if you only ever go to church for baptisms, weddings and funerals it might mean you always wear a suit/dress, but for most of the congregation this is just part of their normal lives.

Juells · 02/04/2018 09:24

Just saw this thread, and haven't read it all, but I was about to post about my experience when I saw the remark by OP above Grin

A few years ago I was invited to a christening, went to great trouble rooting out something respectable to wear, rolled up to the church with my daughter, who was to be godmother. About ten babies were sitting on mothers' laps on hard chairs in a circle. Babies mostly in greyish jumpsuits, mothers in jeans or tracksuits, ditto fathers if they were there at all. I stuck out like a sore thumb and was quite embarrassed...

Original poster
ytrewqytrewq · 02/04/2018 09:31

Did the vicar not wear his Easter robes?

Nope. Jeans, shirt and dog collar.

For context this was Church of England, a big church in the centre of a small country town. It was relatively evangelical (poppy songs about being mates with Jesus, accompanied by guitar) rather than traditional, so I guess that's the difference.

OP posts: